Or is he, re- puppy?

[Stinkincute]

We have a new puppy, it's been sleeping in kitchen at night with poo mats down.

I told oh I am keen to train it to go outside and get rid of the mats as this is what I've heared is best. I am at home all day as its half term so whenever I see it sniffing round il get go out and guid it or take it out in the garden, then give plenty of praise. This is working throughout the day, we've had no poos at all inside and mostly wees outside 1 or 2 on the mats In kitchen.
When oh gets up for work, it's usually really early so I've told him to keep the pup in kitchen and open back door and I will be down not long after him. He usually stands in kitchen anyway making coffee & sandwiches for himself so its not hard to open back door.
The past 2 mornings I've come down shortly after him, and he's said she's had a wee in livingroom. I've said you shouldn't have let her out the kitchen & Into livingroom until she's had morning wee on mat or outside. So he's left it there on the laminate flooring. I've cleaned it up.
Next morning he got up, I said keep her in kitchen don't let her into livingroom. He done the same and she weed again.
This morning I tried getting up but being g pregnant I am struggling, I came down to a poo & wee in kitchen on floor, fresh. I said why didn't you open back door and send her out like I said, he said "your not telling me what to do" and left it and went to work.
I just don't understand how hard it is to open back door, I am being unreasonable in TELLING him to do this? I do this all day long everyday and it works fine.

I stay up till 11pm and get up at 6am, oh is up at 5.30 @Poppysmom22

6.5 hours is a long time for a puppy to hold it. And he isn't doing his bit so pup isn't getting it. I trained mine in a week but I was on it we had a routine of going outside after every 'thing' so wake up out, food out, nap out I spent lots of time outdoors but it worked and I never used mats because it sends the wrong message

How long have you had puppy and what breed and sex is it

He’s gaslighting you.

Its perfectly clear that the puppy is not to be allowed into the house beyond the kitchen until someone is on housetraining patrol. But here he is, ignoring that and then claiming that you haven’t told him what to do.

This is really shitty of him, and does not bode well for sorting out how you will jointly care for a child.

You don’t say whether “he” is a husband or a partner. If the latter, make sure you are planning on returning to work as soon as paid maternity leave runs out. Do nor become financially dependent on a man who is already gaslighting you

Yanbu your dh is an arsehole with his 'don't tell me what to do' schtick. Big bairn. I'd be really angry with him actually, his juvenile stance has you mopping up piss for no reason. Fuck him.

@Poppysmom22 I leave mats in the kitchen with the pup for in the night, I can start coming down through the night as I don't expect the pup to hold wee in all night, I just expect oh to open back door as soon as he goes into kitchen of a morning so pup can go out, instead he's opening the other door to living room and pup is running into living room to have a wee/ poo inside.

you have a DH problem he's not on board with he puppy if he was he would put it's needs first and open the door. You can't rely so n he m so it time to do it yourself and stop setting your puppy up to fail.

@AuntieStella he's not claiming I haven't told him what to do, he's saying to me "your not telling me what to do" as in he won't have me telling him what to do/ boss him about etc..
He hates being told what to do.
Even though it was a request just open door it's not a big ask in my eyes.
He's not my husband.

I will start doing that @Poppysmom22

Ditch the oh, your going to have bigger problems later on when you ask him to do anything with the baby. Get a crate for the puppy.

Ditch him

Keep the puppy and rehome the husband. He’s a dickhead.

can't be arsed to clean up? So what does he think will happen, magical cleaning fairies will do it?

Clean up her mess with his clothes, it doesn't bother him where she goes now because he leaves it for his heavily pregnant wife.

Or leave, that's what I'd do.

I wouldn’t be making the puppy sleep in the kitchen, my dogs sleep with me.

I've had dogs all my life and never used puppy mats as myself and family members have got off our backsides and taken the dog out during the day and got up at night.

Your husband wants the cuddles with the puppy but is too lazy and stupid to actually care for it properly.

This is a good time to evaluate how you work together as a team. Your pup needs consistency which is exactly what you’ll need as effective parents. He sounds like a petulant toddler and the thought that he’d prefer dog wee and poo in his home rather than have you ask him to open the door is actually staggering.

It’s quite easy to train a puppy to wee to order, we used the phrase ‘hurry up’ and gave an instant treat. This is really convenient for planning especially when they have limited bladder control.

Being onboard with a dog isn’t about cuddling them. Is that what he sees his role as a father?

So what is your plan when the baby arrives and you tell him.. I don't know, make sure you make sure baby is properly dry before putting a fresh nappy on and he tells you 'don't tell me what to do' - or actually, what's his plan?

Also the fact he left the mess for you to clean up when he's the one who discovered it - you know that's not normal right? Do you think he's going to be a good dad and do his bit?

Your OH is a nob. It will be worse when the baby is here.

What chaos puppies bring. And a new child.
And of course someone thought it was a good idea to have both at once.

Poor dog, and poor child when it arrives.

There will be major foot-stamping and sulking from all four of you soon.