Feel sad I won't have any more kids

[MBailey99]

I'm in my early 30s. Good job. Good salary. One beautiful 4 year old. Have been single a few years. Don't want a relationship but desperately want more biological children. It won't happen for me as it's not possible, so I guess I have to accept my son will be an only child. I agonise over it. I don't know how to move past it. How do I stop obsessing over having another child? It's a horrible feeling that I would like to just go away.

By focusing on what you do have, not what you don't have.

That’s good advice @PeggyPiglet.

I’ve been feeling this way for a few years. I suppose I can look forward hopefully to grand children one day

I'm 41 and would love to have one child but it's unlikely to happen. Count your blessings.

I do. Every single day. My son and my career are my main focus in life. I've chosen not to have another relationship mainly because I don't want to, but also largely because I have enjoyed being able to give my son my whole self. Life is amazing, but I can't just switch off this horrible feeling I have.

I do, I always do.

For context, I got pregnant 4 months after my son was born, when my ex pressured me into sex, and it resulted in a miscarriage. I left whilst I was pregnant due to domestic abuse and I was starting ro get excited about having another child, then had a miscarriage at 16 weeks. I think this has contributed to these awful feelings I'm having.

I’m sorry to hear that @MBailey99. I can imagine you’re always thinking there should be a sibling alongside your child. I don’t know but I hope it gets easier for you x

I feel for you, I hope in time it fades. I think when your last child resulted in a loss, it leaves you feeling very strange. I lost my last child and can't help looking at kids their age in the playgrounds. Wondering what they would like and I just feel despair. But it wasn't meant to be. My child was always going to mc. Still, hurts like he'll.

I've just got 1. Mt dp is an only child and loved it !

I completely understand this feeling. When I miscarried I felt robbed. Felt like I had the pregnancy forced on me but mustered all the courage in the world to get excited, and when I finally was, I started bleeding. I then didn't have the opportunity to try again as I would have been able to whilst in a relationship, so I was just left with this wall of loss and self hatred. I am very grateful for my son, I just have a horrible feeling of loss and broodiness that I can't shake. It's not bad all the time but my pre-menstrual wonkiness is a killer tonight.

I'm also very sorry for your loss

I have felt like this, it started after I was unable to conceive a second and then separated from husband. It is slowly getting less, and I think is easier the older I get (I guess I am quite a lot older than you) but I still often feel sad. If I was younger and had more resources I think I would have tried to have another alone, but I don't have a history of miscarriage. I can only imagine how this must compound the grief you feel, and I think your feelings are very normal. Maybe it would help to have some therapy to be able to work through it all and understand how to deal with these feelings?

I know it doesn't feel like it ever will feel better but I assure you, over time, you accept it.

Mid 30's I was told I could never have children naturally and after seeing a fertility specialist I was given a 10% chance of getting a single egg through IVF. I got 4.🎉

Two of those were my twins but I lost one of them via a mc. I therefore can relate to how heartbroken you were when you had yours.

Miracles don't happen twice so I embraced the single child family we have and it does hurt to not give them a sibling especially when they ask why they haven't got one but after 8years I'm firmly in the acceptance camp.

Sending hugs and it will get better xx

I agree with Frosty and probably more accurately should have said I sometimes feel sad now, not often. I am really so sorry for your losses and hope you can be kind to yourself and have hope that these feelings in time will pass.