Neighbour shouts at us

[Chimperino]

I have an 8 yr old son, we have a small garden but sometimes we play or do some general garden type activities outside. Every time we are in the garden our neighbour shouts at us or my son for making noise. Literally just a game, gardening, laughing or talking, as in normal family type noise. We are not out there all day everyday, we do not play music or bounce balls non stop. We are simply playing outside for about an hour. Am I really being unreasonable to tell her to just let us alone as I am sick of her complaining about us doing our own thing in our own garden. It's making my son uncomfortable being in his own garden. We do have a park nearby and for loud games or running around madly that's where we go. I refuse to walk on eggshells on my own property.

I'd be inclined to reply with 'we live here too and we're just doing what normal families do in their own back garden'. I'll be honest and say I am quite sensitive to the noises other people make, and even 'normal noise' can be irritating at times, but that's up to me to deal with in my own way (earphones, go to other side of house and so on). I am sure your son enjoys going to the park but he should definitely be able to make noise in his own garden.

I would honestly tell her to fuck off.

I had a neighbour like this. My kids are older so it wasn't child play in the garden, it was shouting at me for not pruning my plants how she would do it, pruning overhanging trees from her garden that took a huge chuck out of my garden, painting my fence a colour she didn't like. It was honestly relentless but she was late 60's early 70's so i felt I couldn't do a lot or I'd look the bad guy. I did use to tell her it's none of her business, I'll use my garden and tend to it as I see fit and not how she would prefer etc...and I always said it in a nice calm manner but would but met with yet more shouty responses. I finally lost it with her one day and shouted back. She cried. Slagged me off to anyone who would listen, installed cameras for her 'safety' from me, but she never uttered another word to me again.

Find some courage and Stand up for yourself and tell your neighbour her bullshit stops now. I know it can be hard being confrontational but just remember your neighbour doesn't give a toss so why should you? You and your child should be able to enjoy your garden without some busy body neighbour making you feel crap about it!

Just turn and look at her, cup your ear with your hand and say 'huh? Can't hear you over all this noise. Will catch up with you another time' and then turn round and blank her completely. If she says 'obviously you can hear as you replied to me' then say 'well we can't be making that much noise then, can we?' .... and then turn round and ignore her again

Jeez what awful advice.

YANBU at all. She doesn't get to demand you avoid using your garden by being as awkward as possible to put you on edge.

If you'd said there was lots of screaming, trampoline noise for hours etc then she might have a point to be more mindful, but nothing you say sounds unreasonable at all.

Just say “I don’t want to hear your complaining anymore, we’re making normal noise, if you have a problem report it to the council”. Council take a million years to do anything so by the time they come across it- you probably wouldn’t even be living there anymore!

If it's just normal noise, then of course she should jog on, but is it honestly just normal noise?

There are some parents who think that their child shrieking and screaming at the top of their lungs is totally normal and acceptable because they're outside. Are you one of them?

I’d host a great number of garden parties. And maybe take up the drums

It is classed as normal noise. She can complain about you to environmental health and they will tell her it is normal for people to use their garden and talk. I used to work for the council in a different department but we were next to environmental health and could hear all the officers responding to complaints. It always escalates during school summer holidays as children play out, and rightly so, and there is always someone who complains as the garden use goes on for weeks on end.

As long as the noise is reasonable, no screaming or over the top shouting, crack on. Respond to her either verbally or in writing, you will continue to use your garden and if she has an issue report you to environmental health department.

Well I don't think we are awfully noisy, I am sure that singing, playing and generally doing family type activities can be 'noisy' at times. But I am not going to ask my son to tiptoe around. We are not the screaming and banging type of neighbours. Any noise we make is short bursts so to say, so not for hours at a time. We are talking one hour of outside fun.
Another neighbour two gardens away has two children, they are quite noisy on their trampoline, but again nothing that I would call excessive, just kids being kids. I have never heard her yell at them. I feel that it is specifically directed at us for some reason. She has grandchildren as well who visit and make noise. I just don't get what it is we have done so dreadful. It's tiring.

I got home to my neighbours adding on top of the fence. For no reason. It’s weird and badly put together. We are not loud as we are at work all day. So no idea why they have done it. My answer is people are just weird.