Pregnancy battles...

[mamalauren]

AIBU here? First image is Aunty telling me how I should give birth. I have no judgement or any feelings towards the way any other Mam wants to give birth as it's such a personal choice as long as everyone in the process is healthy etc but honestly it's none of my business, so I advocated for myself and my choices, I thought in a completely reasonable way (including a smiley!) I wasn't impressed that, in her eyes, a vaginal birth is the only 'real' way, but ok.. Almost immediately after I replied to her, she blocked me! For clarity, this woman is 52 years old.

Second image is her husband, my Uncle criticising my chosen baby name the day after. (Also I do not stand with 'gay' being used as an insult). I was a lot punchier with him as we've always kept in touch with each other a bit more regularly than my Aunt and I and it was in a private domain whereas my Aunts comment was on my Facebook wall.

I have always celebrated our wonderful family relationship, have been hosted by them as they've lived abroad (Japan, now Australia, formerly London and I also visited them there) and honestly thought we got on super well. But I felt I just had to advocate for myself, stand up for MYSELF. I understand I'm probably a bit more highly strung with pregnancy emotions (currently 28+6) at the moment but I'm starting to second-guess my reactions to both and wondering if I've been too harsh? The reason I am second-guessing is that they have never been able to conceive, or if they've conceived their pregnancy sadly hasn't been viable and has resulted in miscarriage a few times - but the reason I am continuing to back myself is that their devastating losses don't equal a free pass to be so rude in my own pregnancy?

AIBU?

Thank you x

Two excellent responses. You should be proud of yourself.

Never speak to either of the fuckwits again and I wish you an uneventful rest of your pregnancy and a calm peaceful delivery.

Nah they've both been rude and meddlesome. Good on you for sticking up for yourself (and baby!)

I'm sure it's a lovely name, and however you end up giving birth is the "real" way. Them not being successful in conceiving doesn't give them a right to be so rude.

Hope everything goes well for you and baby!

@AnneLovesGilbert & @VeridicalVagabond thank you both SO much. I feel validated. It's such a complicated feeling having to stand up for myself in this situations when I'm a bit of a peacekeeper generally and tend to 'go with the flow' and not wanting to upset anyone. I appreciate you both so much. x

Your aunt might have just temporarily blocked you as she found it triggering to hear about your pregnancy. She might not have thought you would realise. That is thinking the best of her mind. She was a bit rude, but it doesn't seem agressive. She just sounds a bit like a bossy 'know-it-all' relative.

As for your uncle, that sounds a lot more cruel. I don't think either of your responses are unfair. As it came not long after your aunt blocking you, I wonder if your uncle's mean reply might have been encouraged. It's a guess though, and all seems rather odd.

Bizarre interactions between adults really!

They sound mega rude, impressed you managed to keep your responses so calm - suspect I would have told them to feck off if I was in your shoes. 🤣

You replied in a much more dignified way than I would have! I would’ve told them both to get fucked and blocked them first 😂

Personally I'd have nothing more to do with them.

Two excellent responses. You should be proud of yourself
Seconded!

Thirded.

seriously, very well measured replies. You should be proud of yourself and don't waste breath engaging with them on this subject again.

Thank you all so much. I've heard back from the Uncle... I 'should have known he was joking'. No thanks!

You answered them with grace and dignity.

I expect it's a bit of a painful subject for them and they are turning that on you.

That is not your fault.

I expect Aunty needed an excuse to block you.

YANBU.

Nice bit of gaslighting thrown in there as well.

Nothing funny about homophobia. He’s an idiot. Block him as well. Take care of yourself 💐

Thank you everyone x

I know, I can't even imagine discussing birth plans or names with anyone apart from my partner. If anyone asked me I'd politely brush it off.

Don't engage with this kind of shit in text-based format at all, is my advice. Delete idiotic Facebook comments without otherwise responding. Ignore idiotic texts altogether, or block if you feel it necessary.

Also, never tell people the baby's name before the birth. Never. People see before the birth as the time to influence your choices, whereas when you simply introduce little Babyname a) they know it's too late and b) they're insulting an actual innocent RL baby, so they're a lot more inclined to keep their mouths shut.