Me and my boyfriend have been together two years. I am 23 and he is 27. I am currently at uni in Leeds but I go to his at the weekends in Manchester.
He is a bit of an artsy type, he is a graphic designer and a freelance photographer. He writes poetry and has an Instagram account where he uploads all of his poems and short videos of spoken word. It's a bit of a community and he speaks to lots of people on the platform. He has been speaking to this woman now for a while. I didn't really have a problem with it because she lives in America and is married with 5 children. Plus I trust my boyfriend and try to be rational about things.
She told him she was taking a trip to the UK alone and he asked me if I would mind if she stayed with him so that she could save on accommodation and also have someone there who she knows and trusts. I said it was ok. I don't know why I said this.. I honestly felt ok about it at the time.
All the plans were made and he picked her up from the airport on a Sunday evening and I went back to uni. On Monday I was sat in my uni room alone studying and I text him to ask what he was up to. He said he had taken 'Claire' to the park and they were lay around on the grass. I immediately felt a rush of emotion imagining him strolling through the park with this woman. I couldn't control it I got very upset. I think it was because I was just sat there alone and he was with another woman. I trusted that he wouldn't do anything bad or disrespectful but I suddenly just felt very uncomfortable and like I was a bit of a mug. I tried not to tell him how I felt because what's done is done, she's here now. Nothing I can do. I just didn't realise that he would be out doing things with her. I thought he was just providing her a spare room to stay.
I did end up telling him how upset I was and he said "I did worry that this would happen". We ended up having an argument and I know that I am the one being unreasonable here. I said something was ok and then changed my mind once it happened. That's not his fault. I said I'd prefer it if he let her get on with things on her own. He was saying that it's unfair as she is in an unfamiliar country on her own and doesn't want to abandon her, and his mum agrees. Anyway she ended up staying in a hotel the next night.
It came to the weekend and I went to his. At this point she was in a hotel. I said I wanted to spend the weekend doing nice things together after our argument and just try to sort it out. I got to his to find an ovulation stick in his bathroom bin. Is it just me or is that weird? I don't know what is happening in her life. She may be struggling with conceiving and is being very strict with tracking. She already has 5 children though but that's none of my business. I just find it a bit rude to take an ovulation test and put it in the bin that's wide open. I would've wrapped it up and chucked it in the outside bin if I was in someone else's house. The bin doesn't have a lid. It's one of those bins you'd have in your bedroom but in the bathroom (he's a guy so never really had anything to put in it). I was a bit annoyed about it because I felt like she was taking the piss. But I tried to move past it and have a nice weekend. However he was just on his phone constantly replying to her texts while we were out. We had another argument and I have gone home to my mum's and we haven't spoken since.
I don't know where to go from here. I know this is my fault. But I really need some outside perspective on this. How would you feel? Do I even have a right to be upset? Do we just wait for her to go back home and then try and move past it or is it the end of the relationship? I'm trying to think logically and rationally without heightened feelings of jealousy in the way. But it's hard.