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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I need advice

22 replies

Scorchio4 · 17/08/2023 01:48

My friend of 20+ years told me the other night that she accessed her daughters medical records. She knew about an appointment at a&e her daughter had and the details -treatment / advice etc, purely through her job, not via daughter. For context, my friend works for the NHS in an admin role, daughter is 20 and has had many medical issues over the last decade or so. I'm so uncomfortable with this, it's not okay and I just don't know where to go.... my friend is amazing at her job, and just deeply cares about her daughter and yet I feel a pit of unease..... just need some advice where I can chat back and forth. I have a horrible feeling that she has searched her friends / family in the medical databases, and if I was to put in a SAR they would be flagged. I genuinely love her as a friend but I'm struggling with this. If I put the SAR it is likely they will audit her activity and she will lose her job, I don't want that, but I also want her to accept that she needs to follow the very clear rules

OP posts:

HowAmYa · 17/08/2023 01:53

There was a thread a few months ago about something similar...but the dd/dil knew her dm or dmil had accessed her records.

I'll see if I can find and link. EVERY response was about how downright fckin illegal it is. I'd be very very hard pressed to not report this. Its a gross abuse of power.

Original poster

Scorchio4 · 17/08/2023 01:55

BTW, not looking for AIBU vote... really looking for advice...

OP posts:

Gymnopedie · 17/08/2023 01:58

I think you have to put in the SAR. You don't know who else's records she's accessed, and even if it's only her daughter that's still a privacy matter. The DD is an adult and presumably didn't want her mother to know about her visit to A&E etc.

In a way be grateful she blabbed because you can stop her doing it to anyone else.

That this will happen is a fear of a lot of people when a friend or relative has access to medical records.

Original poster

Scorchio4 · 17/08/2023 02:03

I know it is an abuse of power, I'm so torn.. she looked up her daughters record
to see what was going on, but from knowing her I know she'll be temptered
to look wider... I've had a quick google, if I put a SAR request in, it may not flag who has accessed my record due to different systems etc, but if I say put a very clear concern, via the local hospital organisation where she worked, then it should audit the recored she has accessed

OP posts:

Original poster

Scorchio4 · 17/08/2023 02:09

I am so unhappy with her, would a SAR show who has viewed? That is my concern, if she has looked whilst logged on to the NHS system (which she has regarding her diabetic daughter) I'm feeling a bit deflated,

OP posts:

LylaLee · 17/08/2023 02:09

The problem with random people looking up medical records is it means people become scared to seek medical advice.

I won't go to the GP about that rash on my willy because aunt Claire works there.

I won't get help about hearing voices.

I won't tell them I do cocaine. (Negative interaction with medicine can the kill him).

People need to know that if staff fanny about looking at things they shouldn't, they lose their jobs.

It's a matter of life or death.

Original poster

Scorchio4 · 17/08/2023 02:25

This is my worry, I'm overweight, smoked in the past, drink too much;...the family history.......if between me and the gp..

OP posts:

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/08/2023 02:31

What would you do if it was your daughters records she had accessed "to see what was going on"?

Whatever that is, do that.

manchesterbreak · 17/08/2023 05:18

Agree with above posters id report it. It's such a breech of privacy and abuse of power.

RedToothBrush · 17/08/2023 05:24

How would you feel if she had accessed your records? Or one of her elderly neighbours records? Can you guarantee that if she is willing to do this for one person she won't for someone else? What if she was broke and was offered a large amount of money to look at someone's records? How is this different?

What would she do if she found out something significant?

If someone wants to share their medical details they will tell you. If they don't, they have not told you for a reason.

Possibly because you are overbearing and interfering.

Report. It's really not ok.

IseeNarcPeople · 17/08/2023 05:33

God this is horrible and really controlling. My ex works in the NHS and this is a genuine fear of mine that they are getting off on accessing my records.
Her daughter's records definitely won't be the only ones she's accessed.
Massive abuse of power, sorry but she needs reporting.

TeeBee · 17/08/2023 05:43

If she is so blatant about her utter disregard and disrespect for the rules, I suspect she'd be the same with sharing people's private details. Quite honestly, I'd report. It's a terrible breach of trust. Have you confronted her about her actions?

JanglingJack · 17/08/2023 05:52

My Aunty was my midwife and went on to tell her daughter about an abortion I'd had at aged 18. I've never recovered from that to have her back in my life.

UseOfWeapons · 17/08/2023 06:12

I understand that this is difficult for you, it’s your friend. But please report, or get her to own up. Tell the daughter. You friend may not get instant dismissal, but she would be investigated. She knows she shouldn’t have done this.
As NHS staff we know we are in a privileged position, and it absolutely shouldn’t be abused. Whatever happens, she brought this on herself, by abusing her role. How can we ensure that our patients trust us if people continue to do this?

Nagado · 17/08/2023 06:23

I completely understand how you feel. A relative of mine works for the NHS and although I have no proof, I also know how bloody nosey she is.

I think, for me, it would depend on how close we were. If it was my best friend and I loved her, then I think I’d be more inclined to tell her that she’d made me feel really uncomfortable and I was now wondering who else’s records she’d been looking at and that if anyone else reported her, she’d lose her job. I’d ask her if she understood just how appalling and illegal her behaviour had been and I’d hope that she’d recognise this.

sodthesodoff · 17/08/2023 06:36

You friend is not amazing at her job. She has failed at the first hurdle. What she has done is illegal

Moreover she's told you what she's found. Wanna bet who else she's looked up and who else she's told?

How do you think her daughter will feel that her personal and private information is being accessed and shared?

I don't know how you can't report. I'd also tell her to tell her own daughter what she's done. I'd want to know. At least then what can put a restricted access on her file etc.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 17/08/2023 07:35

I understand how you know about your friend looking up her daughter’s records, because she told you. It was obviously and plainly wrong to do that. But there might be mitigation if she was beyond worry about some pressing medical issue with her young adult daughter and wanted to help her. If this was a total one off I think I would be inclined to talk with her and stress how it must never happen again. You would not be wrong to report though. I think it would be very finely balanced in those circumstances.

However, it sounds to me as though you think your friend has also accessed your records and possibly other friends and family too. What is it that makes you think that? It’s a bit different, accessing a daughter’s records as a one off lapse of judgment because you are beside yourself with worry, than routinely looking up family and friends for a bit of a nosey around. If this is what is happening I would have no hesitation at all in putting in a SAR. In fact I think you would be unreasonable not to. As others have said, the fear of familials accessing records can be a factor in stopping people from seeking help.

If you do put in a SAR and it uncovers a train of behaviour that causes her to lose her job that’s probably the end of the friendship. I am sure you have thought about that. I feel for you having to carry that burden. But I do feel, if she is doing this all over the shop, then you are compelled to do something.

I also agree with the PP who says she is not amazing at her job. She may well have good qualities, but she has failed at a very important, basic, requirement.

Holidaystress11 · 17/08/2023 08:19

I wish I had known how to do SAR oe that it even existed. Dhs ex looked up my medical history trying to find something and sent screen shots to my dh. I was quite young and shy and didn't know how to report it. There was nothing on my record but she heard I was pregnant and wanted to see and it was still early and I hadn't been to the midwife yet so wasn't on my records so she decided I wasn't pregnant and sent it to my dh saying I was lying. I called the hospital and mist have got someone she works with as they wouldn't tell me how to report! Still makes me angry years later. But she's passed away now so I'm starting to let it go. But scared to me to no end too! She would look up lots of people. This was about 11 years ago so maybe systems where different then. I would report anonymously OP for the sake of others

randomchap · 17/08/2023 09:25

All IT access is monitored. Anyone who has access will have been told in no uncertain terms that accessing patients data should only be done as part of that patients care. No looking up friends/family etc randomly.

The hospital PALS dept would be the place to make a complaint

Your friend has shown she's not responsible enough to have this access

ForestGoblin · 17/08/2023 09:28

It's a crime and she'll probably be prosecuted for it.

HermioneWeasley · 17/08/2023 09:28

I’m shocked that the system allows non clinical staff to access medical records, that sounds really poor.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/08/2023 09:31

Your friend is a terrible person. I would report her with as many details as possible, I would inform her daughter what her mother has done, and I would not longer associate with her.

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