Found out BF doing drugs.

[Bohoboho]

My BF of 3 years used to smoke weed when I first met him and it was a daily thing. He’s not smoked it for a year and did well to stop but I’ve found out he’s been trying out heavier drugs e.g hallucinogenics. I’m now questioning the relationship. What would you do?

Did you use this slogan on a gcse anti drugs poster?

Is he using regularly or occasionally?
Is he willing to stop?

I'd find out why he had decided to try LSD. It is in clinical trials for anxiety at the moment, so maybe he thought it would help his mental health.

It's not physically addictive, and not many people would want to do an 8-hour trip particularly often anyway, especially as it's not always a pleasant experience.

I definitely wouldn't bin the relationship just for this.

Why?

She has said nothing about this man thats bad.
He used to smoke weed every day but it made him paranoid and he stopped - that is not bad because when he had a problem he addressed it and stopped.

He has taken LSD. He hasn't lied to her about it he has told her about it. LSD is not addictive and is an intense experience. It is extremely unlikely he is going to start taking this drug problematically.

Many people have positive life improving / changing experiences from having experienced a strong haluncinogen but even if he hasn't experienced it like this and it is just a thing he has experienced, it is a life experience, that as long as he is sensible about it, wont impact him negatively and therefore wont impact her negatively.

Sure there are some risks, with a strong hallucinogen the risks are mental health related but harm is pretty rare with these drugs especially if people are sensible with company place and setting. There are risks to many parts of life.

Honestly there are a lot of judgemental and likely very hypocritical comments here (because the changes of everyone saying to leave him are drug free is slim, are you all tee total and never have a drink?) that are pretty ignorant regarding what he has taken and risks to the OP.

I cant imagine being in a relationship and thinking i had a right to dictate to another what they can and cant do with their body when they are away from me when that thing does not impact me. He is not cheating on her and risking her health. He is not deceiving and lying. He is not abusing her emotionally, physically or mentally. You are all talking as if hes disclosed he's been taking crack cocaine and he is about to start stealing her finances and self distructing his life or taking drugs around his kids because he has tried LSD with some friends and had a psychedelic experience. It is really ridiculous

I remember seeing a similar post I'm relationship but the man wanted to leave the woman due to her past hard drug use

People were like "oh we all used drugs when we were young get over it"

This thread isn't about past drug use. It's about current drug use negatively impacting him and therefore OP and her relationship.

What a balanced post. MN seems to believe that any and all drug use will immediately lead to your nose caving in, job loss, relationship breakdown, bankruptcy etc etc etc

in reality many people can and do so drugs recreationally with no long term impact

Ha ha does Mumsnet have a Pseud’s Corner?

You'll turn into his support human. I'd dump him now.

The OP hasn't said anything about it impacting him negatively except she has perceived him to be a bit withdrawn, but that could be for many factors including her obvious judgement of his actions.

Break up.

Drug use and heavy alcohol use for me are non negotiable.

You can't trust addicts...

The man isn't an addict though let alone one in active addiction. He stopped smoking weed when it became a problem to his mental health. He has tried LSD which is practically impossible to get addicted to due to the nature of it.

I mean you can say its a deal breaker for you and stick to your boundaries, but its nonsense to imply he is an addict here.

What are and stage are you at and are you ok with it?

He clearly isnt ready to focus on marriage and babies. Usually you both do drugs and grow out of it together or 1 person doesnt do drugs and grows out of the relationship.

You're wasting your time if you want marriage and babies with him, he is many years off of all that.

She has said nothing about this man thats bad.

Yeah, except 'was daily weed user, now taking class A drugs'. That would probably be bad enough for most people to run a mile.

What a balanced post. MN seems to believe that any and all drug use will immediately lead to your nose caving in, job loss, relationship breakdown, bankruptcy etc etc etc

I don't think most of them believe those things are necessarily inevitable, but I think in most cases people just don't want a drug taker as a partner. I certainly wouldn't. The illegality of it alone would put me off someone tbh.

Having previously been a daily weed smoker and then realising it is impacting your mental health and quitting isn't bad, its arguably the opposite of bad as he dealt with a problem instead of carrying on.
He has disclosed he has tried LSD. He is not taking heroin or crack. He is not an addict let alone an active one. These things do not imply he has a bad character. Its very unlikely to impact OP negatively and currently isn't impacting her negatively.

The vast majority of people in this thread are drug takers and have drug taking partners unless mums net is secretly actually a forum for teetotallers. Alcohol is a drug and a pretty damaging one at that.

As i said by all means people can set whatever boundaries they like, but people are behaving very alarmist and catastrophising in this thread out of ignorance.

The guy hasn't done anything wrong except deciding to have a life experience that isn't hurting yet he stands to loose his relationship because of alarmist assumptions people have of him? I feel bad for him.

But many many people on this thread have described him as “an addict” when nothing the OP has said suggested that he is