When I was 17 I was in a coercive controlling relationship with a man I met at my Saturday job. He was 21. We ended just before I turned 21. He never hit me, but he isolated me from my friends, would punch walls, constantly call me a slag and slut, threaten to break up with me constantly, insult my clothes, control what I wore, who I spoke to, where I went. Even when he wasn’t there and I was at university I wouldn’t speak to people in case he somehow found out. There are many more examples I could give but that was the gist.
Many years later he is married with two children and I am (happily) single. I sometimes wonder if I subconsciously stay single because of that experience. Anyway, I haven’t seen or heard from him in many years.
We went into completely different work industries. I know he isn’t completely junior in his career through mutual friends, but didn’t really care about anything he did.
In a strange turn of events, my industry has collided with his and I am being encouraged to and am tempted to apply for a job which would place me multiple rungs above him up the ladder of his industry. I would never deal with him day to day, and nor would any promotions be anything to do with me unless he continued to be promoted multiple times, which isn’t completely outside the realms of possibility but would take a long time.
I want the job, but I keep feeling uneasy about it. WWYD?
I want the job and it will be a long time till it comes up again, but while I won’t see him, he will find out if I’m hired because it’s a prominent position. I suppose I’m worried about what he might say or do all of these years later.