Getting irritated by comments on my accent

[Jak569]

I’m Irish and have lived in England for nearly 20 years. I’m going home soon for the first time in a while and while I'm there meeting up with some old friends, one of whom has a tendency to make slightly reductive comments to me (or at least I perceive them as such). I honestly think she means no harm, it’s just a lack of a filter!

Last time I saw her, she was particularly keen on commenting on my now-English accent, and finds it a real source of amusement. She mimics it back to me etc. I’m working on just letting it roll off me, but it always makes me feel quite exposed and self-conscious!

I’m know I’m quite over-sensitive, so I don’t need to be told that by Mumsnet folk (I’m working on being more resilient!), but any tips on how to deal with this would be great. I just want to be able to laugh it off, or diffuse the situation with humour, or have a comment or retort in my back pocket that might politely get her to stop…she’s the kind of person that, if I ask to stop, she’ll continue to do it and it’ll be even funnier for her.

All thoughts welcome, so long as they're kind.

I get shit about my accent too. Mine is Bristol (so Comedy Pirate).

I'd just say 'please stop making fun of my accent, I don't like it'.

If she doesn't stop then, she's awful and someone to avoid.

Also 'resilience' does not mean tolerating shit behaviour.

She doesn’t sound like much of a friend. Tell her to fuck herself, preferably in crisp RP.

I would just say well it's inevitable after twenty years in England... That's all you can say. I come from an area of England with a strong regional accent and live in a different part now. Both areas still comment on my accent. It is annoying I agree but there's not much you can say but shrug

Perhaps treat your conversation as if you're a psychologist and she's a particularly interesting client. "Hmm [chin rub] ... you really are fascinated by my accent, aren't you? How curious. Oh, there you go again, you just can't help harping on about it. I wonder what that's about?"

I’ve told this story before. I live in London but and Scottish with a very noticeable accent. The English doctor who delivered my son decided that it was absolutely hilarious to break into a cod Scottish accent while stitching up my torn fanny. Reader, I did not laugh.

Maybe say “Aww well we can’t all do absolutely nothing and go nowhere new like you! You’re practically a pot plant on a window sill!”

Or something 😁

Probably this would be the easiest and clearest way of making your point?

An old friend of mine married an Irishman and is bringing up her children there. She is always lamenting the children have Irish accents. I often wonder what this of accent she expects them to have! (their accents are perfectly lovely).

This. She sounds like an irritating arse.

Nice burn! Not sure I'd ever have the balls to use it on someone but I will definitely think it!

If you're able to, I suggest putting on a broad Michael Flately style Irish American accent and saying something like "God be with the days when I had the true Irish lilting brogue ochone ochone". Should shut her up.

I get comments about my accent . It's west country, so stuff about being a wurzel or pirate. I don't think my accent is that strong compared with other Bristolians.

As a Scottish person who lived in London for a long time (I never lost my accent, but I did occasionally get a few 'ooh, look at you, all fancy' comments from friends when I went home), I recommend reminding them just how incredibly fucking annoying it is when (for the sake of argument here) an English person does 'The Voice' and how much we all (Scottish, Welsh, Irish, Northern English) hate having 'The fucking Voice' done at us.

That should work.

@Jak569

I'm the same, but with a different accent.

🙄🙄🙄

How old were you when you moved to England?