To be struggling with dd15 growing up

[Indoorvoicesbluey]

Dd15 (16 in Feb) has always been a home girl. She’s never really been bothered about boys until recently. We live in a country town.

shes met a 16yo boy who she went to primary with but he went to the other secondary school. He works in a local shop and they added each other on snap last week.

she’s been going to the park/for a walk with him most evenings after his work about 5.30 and she’s always been back at 7.30 when iv told her, iv made her put her location on snap on.

my sister says I’m being over protective and Ishould be taking her to the doctors for contraception.

im really struggling :( I had her at 16 and I don’t want her to grow up lol.

she was up on FaceTime until 2am last night and everyone iv spoken to says they don’t see the problem with it as long as it’s nothing rude?

uh help me.

Yes I would have a conversation with her. Let her know she can always come and talk to you about anything. It's better you have grown up discussions about things than her make a mistake and feel like she can't speak to you.

I’m sure you’ll feel a lot better about all this once you’ve met him and got to know him a little.

She's still quite young and you are both learning as you go so don't get too prescriptive about things.

At that age, I'd turn the router off at midnight, but otherwise try to agree things like turning on phone tracking, rather than insisting on it.

I have a 15yo ds and I find letting them bring their friends home for food, normally gets you an early introduction and an opportunity to judge whether you have anything to worry about.

If you had your daughter at 16 (I had my son at 16) then you know exactly what teenagers get up to!
I think you should be advising her about contraception too.

I have a 14 yo ds and have no worries about him at all 😂😩 so stressful life is lol

'At that age, I'd turn the router off at midnight' Why? Leave her alone ffs so what if she wants to facetime

Would you not worry about him becoming a father? I was more worried about ds than dds, if they wanted to terminate the pregnancy they could but ds would have to abide by the girls decision.
Actually he started courting at a similar age to your dd, they did have underage sex but all was well, they heeded advice and used contraception.

Help her get on contraception- that's great advice as she's very likely to start having sex soon regardless of what you do or say.

Ultimately, she's going to do what she's going to do whether you like it or not. May as well manage the situation as best you can.

Someone I knew once had what I believe it a good approach with his son. He just said "I'm not saying you are, and I'm not saying you aren't, ultimately it's not my business, but there will always be condoms in the drawer here, no questions asked"

Not sure what the female equivalent would be.

At 15, it's still OK to have reasonable limits. Midnight is more than fair surely. Don't have terns yet but lots of DNs&Ns, they're not on their phones in the early hours.

Op, I think just be open and keep talking and make sure she knows everything she needs to! This could be all finished by next week!

Mine is the same age, a couple of months older. She’s been dating. We have a very open relationship and she came to me for contraception advice. They’re going to use condoms and she is also now on the pill.

they’re going to grow up, there’s nothing we can do about it but how you manage these years will make all the difference. I’ve also got a dd who is mid 20’s.

My 15 year old had just started dating a boy. ABBA’s Slipping Through My Fingers shuffled randomly on Spotify this afternoon and I was crying. I feel like I am low down on her list now (as my parents were when I was 15!) We have a fabulous relationship and it’s so hard to share her.

You need to step up and be the parent here and ensure your daughter is aware of the contraceptive options and can choose the right one for her. Personally I’d be recommending something long acting like the injection or implant and giving her the talk on safe sex/not being pressured etc.

You also need to do the same for your son about condoms and consent.

I’d keep talking to her. There’s nothing wrong with her talking to a boy. I always take the if rather know where you are than sneaking off line.
Mine talks to me best in car or really late at night.

My 19 year old daughter has just discovered her social life after always being a home bird. She home just now from Uni, started volunteering, made a couple of new friends and now spends at least 2 nights a week with them in their flat. I know I'm being unreasonable, but I'm struggling with it! When I was her age I'd met dp, was virtually living with him and had moved out of home. But its still hard. It would have been easier I think if she'd eased us into it from age 15!