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Original poster

Ignorant people

101 replies

Patatopotato · 16/08/2023 17:37

What is with people having no manners or spatial awareness these days?

Just out of work and walking along the road (busy city centre with traffic so not option to just walk into road) approach 4 men in suits taking up the whole footpath.

Not one attempt to make a gap for me (or anyone else to get past) so I, quite rightly in my opinion, bang my elbow right off him, wish I'd of done it harder tbh!!

Aibu to have wished it had of had such force it would have knocked the phone right out of his hand!! (He was holding phone in front showing his equally ignorant mates something)

OP posts:
MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 19/08/2023 00:42

Spirallingdownwards · 18/08/2023 23:38

But as the single it's you that do.

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Does what? Where do I move if hey are taking up the whole pavement? They move into single file to pass me. That's how manners work. My children have known this since they were about 3 years old.

GrumpyOldCrone · 19/08/2023 01:54

I don’t think you’re completely wrong. I just think it’s better to use your shoulder than your elbow. Less chance of injury to you, more chance of making your point with the ignorant arseholes who think they’re entitled to the whole pavement.

OzziePopPop · 19/08/2023 02:51

I’m a wheelchair user, getting around in crowds or even shops is… fun… I’m considering a 90s style bull bar or maybe Bodicea style chariot spikes on the wheels!

ChocolateCinderToffee · 19/08/2023 03:02

rainbowunicorn · 16/08/2023 17:49

Ignorant can also mean discourteous or rude so OP is well aware what ut means and has used it correctly.

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It doesn’t mean discourteous or rude and she is ignorant of its correct meaning.

Spirallingdownwards · 19/08/2023 06:27

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 19/08/2023 00:42

Does what? Where do I move if hey are taking up the whole pavement? They move into single file to pass me. That's how manners work. My children have known this since they were about 3 years old.

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What I mean is as a single you move to ome side of the pavement and then stop as they get to you. They then automatically move ro file past you. It really isn't rocket science. No one smacks into you. The only reason they did in this case was because the OP stuck her elbow into them.

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 19/08/2023 06:46

Spirallingdownwards · 19/08/2023 06:27

What I mean is as a single you move to ome side of the pavement and then stop as they get to you. They then automatically move ro file past you. It really isn't rocket science. No one smacks into you. The only reason they did in this case was because the OP stuck her elbow into them.

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Oh right. Except ime they don't move to one side, that's the point.

PaperSheet · 19/08/2023 08:06

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 19/08/2023 06:46

Oh right. Except ime they don't move to one side, that's the point.

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Exactly that's pretty much the whole point of this thread. They don't move. No one is looking for groups of people and barging directly into them with elbows out when there's plenty of space. It's when a group is taking up the ENTIRE pavement. You move as far to the side as you can comfortably, and there's still a person heading straight at you not looking (or caring). That's when I personally will brace myself with either my shoulder or handbag. I either stop walking or carry on and yes the person will get banged as they walk into me. If they "naturally moved to the side around me" then no one would be banging into anyone and the thread wouldn't exist.

EveSix · 19/08/2023 08:19

Common misuse has somehow brought 'ignorant' into common parlance as meaning 'rude' or 'discourteous'. I don't get it ‐rude and discourteous are perfectly good words to describe a behaviour. Why do people insist on using 'ignorant' which really has a very different meaning? It's only just about accepted because of this weird insistence on a dual meaning, and trying to argue otherwise is futile.

hdbs17 · 19/08/2023 08:24

I was in Lidl the other day, loading my basket onto the conveyor belt and as I turned around to put the next item down, there was a man crouching underneath me to grab a carrier bag. Now, keep in mind that I'm heavily pregnant so was standing quite close to the till - he was very, VERY close to my lower half.

The sheer ignorance of him not even being able to wait until I was stood up to ask if I'd mind moving for him to grab one absolutely infuriated me and I loudly let out an "excuse me?!"

WhatNoRaisins · 19/08/2023 08:55

I always thought ignorant when used in this context meant that the person was ignorant of the way to behave properly.

lljkk · 19/08/2023 13:44

A cheery "Hello!" seems to resolve the situation for me.

LlynTegid · 19/08/2023 14:48

Two wrongs don't make a right. Speak to them- excuse me or hello, followed by a thank you when one or more make way.

Though no doubt were you a teenage young woman with revealing clothing they would have noticed you straight away.

daisychain01 · 19/08/2023 14:56

Not as bad as my "Performance Family" encounter the other day - 4 of them, two adults and two children all walking hand-in-hand stretched across covering the entire width of the road (no footpaths) like they thought everyone should just stand there and admire them. Cringe.

daisychain01 · 19/08/2023 14:58

I frequently use ignorant to mean rude and lacking any understanding in how to behave - and there are a multitude of opportunities to use it nowadays.

JanieEyre · 19/08/2023 15:14

Patatopotato · 16/08/2023 17:47

Someone that is so preoccupied with themselves isn't going to register excuse me, that's the issue.

As for the £1000 phone, I'd hope he had insurance...I'll admit that was harsh.

Nonsense, you didn't bother to try, did you? You might have been justified in pushing through if you had.

Apedantwrites · 19/08/2023 15:16

You can't really accuse other people of being ignorant when you write phrases like "had of had".

pinkgrafittirat · 20/08/2023 11:19

Spirallingdownwards · 19/08/2023 06:27

What I mean is as a single you move to ome side of the pavement and then stop as they get to you. They then automatically move ro file past you. It really isn't rocket science. No one smacks into you. The only reason they did in this case was because the OP stuck her elbow into them.

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What delightful fantasy land do you live in, where people "automatically" and "politely" move to one side?

Not London, that's for sure - I have a disabled relative who has been physically shoved into the road and been physically injured by people refusing to move an inch.

Before I discovered my phone trick, I was regularly (like DAILY) having people barge me physically out of the way or smack into me so hard it physically hurt and sometimes left bruises.

That is the reality.

And standing still to wait only works if you live somewhere rural where you only pass the odd person. If I stood to one side and stood still to wait until people coming in the opposite direction had gone by, I'd still be standing there two hours later.

EveSix · 20/08/2023 11:39

Meh, Daisy. It's like saying Columbia when you mean Colombia because enough people can't be bothered so it is incumbent on the listener to work out from the context what the speaker actually means.

daisychain01 · 20/08/2023 21:41

How so @EveSix Ive just looked up ignorant and the top definition is

lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated

that's exactly the meaning I gave it above.

Your comparison of Colombia / Columbia is irrelevant.

Thepeopleversuswork · 20/08/2023 22:26

@GarlicGrace

I’ve been instinctively playing patriarchy chicken since I was a small child. My dad was a very gregarious, confident person and it would never have occurred to him in a million years to make space for other people. I take after him much more than my more passive mum so I never had this feminine impetus to get out of the way.

It wasn’t until I was in my late teens/early twenties that it dawned on me that it was an “unfeminine” way to conduct myself.

I do think allowing girls to feel they have a right to occupy space is very important and has a disproportionate impact on their sense of self. Manners and consideration are important but no one should ever feel that someone else has an automatic “right of way”, and certainly not because they happen to have a Y chromosome.

GarlicGrace · 20/08/2023 22:36

I do think allowing girls to feel they have a right to occupy space is very important - oh, absolutely, @Thepeopleversuswork. And letting them know it's okay to fight for it! (Age & ability considered, of course.)

Oldermum84 · 20/08/2023 23:00

PaperSheet · 17/08/2023 14:52

Why do you think so called normal people should all move for other people? Are you saying those men are not normal because they didn't move? I spent years moving (in many ways) for other people. Then realised no one does it back. Surely if a large group is blocking a whole pavement the most courteous thing would be for the large group to make themselves smaller space wise rather than the one person flatten themselves against a wall or step off the pavement? (Because you say stand to one side as if there's always room for that).
Anyway. I do similar to the @Patatopotato these days. I don't actually "elbow" anyone but I tend to put myself in a brace position that involves either putting my handbag in a different position or tensing my muscles in my arm/shoulder so I'm prepared for the impact. Otherwise you spend your life leaping out the way, walking into bushes and branches, stepping into the road, walking on grass verges and into dog shit, and generally just realising that it's always you moving while no one else gives a shit. You won't even get an acknowledgement of thanks. To be honest I think that's what would make the difference. If i moved for someone and they said thanks. On the rare occasion a group does move for me then I always say thanks.

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This!

SinnerBoy · 21/08/2023 06:09

EveSix · 19/08/2023 08:19

Common misuse has somehow brought 'ignorant' into common parlance as meaning 'rude' or 'discourteous'.

I'm 53 and from Newcastle and even primary school teachers used it to mean rude, as did my nan.

EveSix · 21/08/2023 07:54

Alright, Daisy. It's a secondary definition specifying informal usage in recognition of a long period of stubborn misuse
And my Colombia / Columbia example is spot on: the onus is on the listener to figure out the meaning based on context.
What's wrong with 'rude'?

swimlyn · 21/08/2023 11:58

Just like so many words, ignorant is often misused. It literally means unknowing.

To confirm this usage problem, just look at the common usage of aggravate.

There is a saying I’ve known for decades: We are all ignorant, but on different subjects.

I once said that to my Dsis, who went absolutely ballistic because she thought I was calling her rude, or stupid.

Education is a wonderful thing when done right. My Dbro and Dsis both saw it as a waste of their time.