anyone with anxiety or mild paranoia/ low self esteem understand what I am going through?

[jistexusting]

I have always suffered with anxiety. Specifically, I can’t stand the idea that I can’t trust someone and that someone is talking about me. What’s odd is that I don’t know why I care as I am generally happy with my life, I’m quite a cheerful person and have strong core beliefs about myself and life that I know I live by. I have a decent job, friends and nothing to really be ashamed of. But its almost like self sabotage that I will always think someone is talking about me badly. I will then withdraw from people or question them. I am constantly exhausted and sometimes the only way to cope is to back away from people and assume everyone is doing it so it’s better to stay away. I can be such good company when I’m feeling ok and ‘well.’ I know I can be a good friend and I am well liked generally, I’m not aware that I have enemies or people who dislike me. It’s just exhausting living like this and I never truly relax, ever. Anyone else understand this? I hate it so much.

Maybe you have this:

Paranoid personality disorder (PPD) is a mental health condition marked by a long-term pattern of distrust and suspicion of others without adequate reason to be suspicious (paranoia). People with PPD often believe that others are trying to demean, harm or threaten them.

@KinooOrKinog that’s exactly how it feels all the time. I hate it.

I have very similar feelings except I become very, very clingy with people. I either love them or hate them. Everything is very black and white for me. I have Borderline Personality Disorder.

You should probably see a professional tbh