High school or home ed?

[Mountainhowl]

Our eldest will be going into year 6 this year, so there's been lots of talk around high schools recently, and I'm really undecided about what direction to go for him (undiagnosed but almost guaranteed ADHD, school haven't been overly helpful with moving forward with a diagnosis so far, I suspect it's not a priority as he isn't any 'trouble')

We have 2 local options, one that we are in catchment for which is known to be not great, not awful but not great, the other is locally known as the better school, but we would have to pay £200+ a term for the bus, and more worryingly - they are advertising vacancies for a good amount of core subject teachers, and have been for some time.

My lad is very much into what he's into and puts minimum effort into everything that doesn't interest him. He wants to work with computers in some capacity, and is also quite into history and some science (fossils etc, so tied in with history). He stims whenever he's concentrating (humming, so not subtle) and is quite behind his peers in some respects (he's a wizz on a pc but shite at sports for example) and he's quite a sensitive lad.

Quite honestly I think the kids at high school will eat him alive, but I also know he is going to struggle with the expectations of high school, so many more subjects, homework etc. I think he is especially going to struggle to keep up if he doesn't have actual regular teachers for the important subjects!

My thinking is that it almost seems like a waste of 5 years of his life for him to go there every day and probably take the bare minimum away from it, when we could tailor his education to cover the core subjects then focus on what he's actually interested in and/or good at.

But I'm also aware that just by going to school he may be exposed to subjects/ideas that he didn't think he would enjoy but actually does.

But also - AI could be changing the computer/coding industry in the next couple of years (or already is in some cases), would school curriculums adapt to this like we potentially could? I have no idea how we would but the flexibility to do so would be there...

I would just send him off and see how he does, but by that point we'll have spent £500+ on uniform, bus pass etc, that money is then gone as can't be used to buy courses or things to supplement his home learning.

Time wise we could make HE work, his younger brother would be starting primary as he is starting high school, we both work from home and OH would do the majority of the teaching, with the plan to supplement with courses and online tutors where needed.

I've looked at the online schools but unfortunately we are far too poor for these 😂

Sorry it's long, didn't want to drop feed!

Everything seems to lean towards HE but I'm worried we will be making the wrong decision and potentially ruining his life if we don't do a good job of it! AIBU to think HE is a good idea?

Thanks all, I haven't been to either school yet just read through their websites, we will go in the autumn term. I hadn't thought about them being different in terms of SEN, I looked at the uniform for the better one and though jeez he's not going to like/manage with that. We think there's possibly some mild dyspraxia as he can't do laces, struggles with clasps and buttons, would really struggle to wrap his head around a tie etc.

School haven't been unhelpful I wouldn't say, we did have a meeting and some emails with the senco and we're filling out forms when we were told to stop because we had the wrong ones and they needed to send us the right ones, I've brought it up with his teacher a couple of times since but not really got anywhere. But they're very accepting of how he is and do make some allowances (he was allowed to wear joggers for a couple of years because he couldn't do the little hook on school trousers for example)

I will push forward with them in the autumn term so there's definitely stuff on record, I'm not very good at keeping on at them because I have a tendency to forget I need to talk to them until we're back home 🤦😂

This is so refreshing to read.

The assumption that all homeschoolers hate mainstream education/educators and vice versa is incredibly wearing. It's lovely to hear from a teacher who sees the value in simply having options.

OP, if it helps at all I only had 4 years of secondary after being home-educated and if I'd had the internet I wouldn't have needed even those years. I did go to university and it was there that I flourished. High school was just a miserable experience for me, although I'm sure it can be amazing for some people.

It's entirely possible that your son will thrive in HE, in your shoes I'd try it for a year or two and then reassess.

Having a range of ages in my family all working in IT, I do know that it's got much more competitive over the years and would want to think about whether being HE would impact on his ability to get a job long term. One relative has no IT qualifications and has been in the industry for 30 years. The next has done 20 and needed a degree and the youngest has just started out an needed a high caliber degree and probably will need a master's in the next few years. IT is horribly competitive and seems to be getting worse not better.

I totally understand. In many ways I’d like to HE but I do think, at least for know, school is the best place for my children and we are enormously lucky to have genuinely fantastic schools and I can then support effectively because of my experience. There are kids for whom HE is the best option, there are (significantly more) kids for whom school is the better option for a variety of reasons. Honestly, the only time I feel any animosity towards HE is when people either (a) are using it as an excuse to not essentially not educate their children, which is very rare but so harmful, (b) when people who are doing a fantastic job resist any discussions around regulation of HE to protect very vulnerable children from serious harm/lack of educational opportunities and (c) when people refer to schools as ‘prisons’ or similar hyperbole and suggest that every child who attends in-person standard schooling is being abused, etc., which is sadly a more common message to see online (though I’m sure still very rare in reality). I also feel very sad for people who would like not to HE but are forced into it because they are not able to access appropriate alternative provision and mainstream isn’t working.

HE is often such an amazing opportunity for many young people and families. Equally, the vast majority of kids in schools also learn well and have a broadly positive experience and many thrive in a way that they wouldn’t at home.

I'm a secondary teacher and I'd say to go and look around the schools and speak to the senco before deciding. Your son would have absolutely no issues at my school (state secondary, comprehensive, very mixed catchment)
I would also say that youre underestimating the changes in curriculum since you sat your gcses. The demand is significantly higher and the content is largely different.I teach chemistry and a C in old grading would struggle to get you a pass in the current curriculum. The other thing to consider is that for science there is also the required practical element. How will you facilitate your son carrying out the necessary required practicals for each science?

That's interesting regarding the subjects, I assumed they would be largely the same, from what I remember hearing from others high school experience the same texts are/were recycled every few years for English lit, and I wouldn't have thought the fundamentals of the sciences would have changed that much!

I hadn't thought about the practicalities behind science experiments, obviously some you can do at home but I imagine chemistry is a bit more difficult to get hold of the required ingredients 😂

I will definitely talk to the sencos

Many home edders do iGCSEs to work around this, although some exam centres offer practical options if you wish to go this route.

There are options available for most things. The hardest things seem to be GCSEs such as art, you usually have to seek out a tutor for assessments etc. But generally there will be options available or alternatives for most things.

I am pretty useless with computers and my Son managed to whizz his computer science GCSE with a 9, I still couldnt tell you the basics but we did a great job together of researching and finding the information. As parents, we arent teachers but we help facilitate the learning, so dont think you will have to have a vast array of knowledge. Its amazing also how the home ed community will help each other when knowledge or advice is required.