How to cope as a neurodiverse adult in a neurotypical world?

[amomentintime]

If you are neurodiverse and managing to function pretty well and avoid burn out, how do you cope? Do you have certain things put in place or how have you built your lifestyle to fit your needs? I'm in my late 20s and I'm pretty sure I'm autistic, I'm not ready to seek a diagnosis yet but I want to try and understand myself better and how I can adjust my life to try and help. I've given some more background below but feel free to ignore. :)

I have 2 siblings with autism, and I fit a lot of the descriptions of autism in women. I struggle a lot with normal life and burn out a lot. I was ok at school and university as there are so many half-terms and long summer breaks I felt like it kept me functioning, but since starting work a few years ago I keep going through a pattern of getting a job and working it for around a year, then quitting and having a few months off before starting a new job. In my last job I did stay for a year and a half, but I got signed off sick around a year in for 3 months.

This obviously isn't a sustainable pattern, but I don't know what to do. I've recently decided to retrain as I realised that office work was stressing me out because of all of the unwritten rules and office culture, I would find it draining as I would put on an act. I'm retraining to become a speech and language therapist as I love working with children and know I'd find it really rewarding.

I'm not autistic, but have ADHD with a reasonable amount in common with autistic people. I work 4 days a week which gives me 4 days of work, 2 days of leisure/being productive around the house/socialising and one day of hiding under the duvet with headphones on.

I work from home.

It’s a rough road, OP - the main thing that has helped me cope is finding out what my particular needs are (I have extreme sound sensitivity), and taking steps to protect myself. I have three different strengths of “loops” earplugs, which take the edge off sounds and surprisingly help me preserve my energy.

before I knew about my neurotype, I just thought I was a person who got tired a LOT.

I went through a lot of jobs until I found a job that really suits me (I work in a library), and it’s a revelation. Looking back, I wish I had trusted myself and quit things sooner If they weren’t a fit for me- but I thought the problem was me- I thought I’d not fit anywhere, so I had better learn to cope.

you’ve just got to keep looking until you find a good fit. I know that sounds exhausting - and it is - but it’s worth it.

I also think working now for a company that values me, that isn’t full of gossip and backstabbing (we have no reason to compete with each other: we work together-) makes a huge difference in my mental health.

I still get tired, but it’s not the same. At the end of the day, I’m tired because I work with the public, but I love my job, and that makes all the difference.

I hope you find something like this soon! Don’t give up. There’s a better fit for you out there.

Undiagnosed.

I run my own business (from home) and work a zero hour professional level job (out of the house) on top. My hours are ridiculous, but my business is enjoyable and I get excellent feedback from clients. My zero hour job is in a shortage occupation, so work are always grateful for my efforts and supportive of any issues I face.

The advantage is I have no regular work place or colleagues, so no work politics to have to deal with. Everyone wants me to work for them and so treats me very well and praises the work I do. It's cut almost all of the mental stress of work. However, as I say, the hours I work are absolutely ridiculous and seven days a week with no paid holidays, so it's good I enjoy what I do.

I’m 40s and suspect I’m asd/adhd a bit of both. I’ve never been signed off sick but I am permanently trying to switch things around to make things better. I have school aged children and have tried working full time a couple of times which has been exhausting. I really think the key is to find the right set up/ team and time with people and without. For me this means a day or two off in the week where I can have a few hours of alone time x

I also seem to do really well at the beginning of jobs then after a year or so the bubble sort of bursts and I have a huge crisis of confidence.

I have also retrained as an AHP. Good luck with your course. And hope you find the right job afterwards x x

Im a Speech Pathologist (in Australia) and ADHD, the study is pretty full on but the job is the best and so rewarding.

There are a few autistic /adhd speech Pathologist on IG, Facebook etc who are worth a follow :)

How do I cope? Barely. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll get posters coming on to tell you that since you are able to type you can't really be autistic or struggling and and support you get will be taking away resources from the ore deserving.