WhatsApp reply protocol!!!!

[airey]

WhatsApp is the cause of no end of stress in the modern age, am I right?!!

I’m curious to know, when friends reply to you - how long is it acceptable for you to be be expected to wait for a response, before you get irritated/hurt?

In this scenario we’re presuming this is an important message with a specific question, such as “Would you like to visit the new art gallery then have dinner with me afterwards next Friday at 6pm?”

a) Best friends (I’m saying in 48 hours I’d expect a reply)
b) wider friendship circle (up to 5 days before it feels rude?)
c) colleagues/acquaintances/new friends (a week)

If a good friend regularly takes over a week to reply (as is happening to me right now) do we interpret it that we’re not as important to them as we hoped? Or we’re being mildly ghosted?

Or am I being to sensitive?!!

I’m curious to hear other people’s experiences :)

For something like that I'd reply within an couple of hours of reading the message regardless of who asked me

I’d usually reply the same evening (after work/when rushing around done). But certainly within 48 hours.

I absolutely hate WhatsApp and messaging. I haven't even enjoyed typing this but felt that the 'typers' who expect swift responses would only respond if I didn't and you'd hear that it was very rude. I love my friends and family and despise the modern obsession with messaging, it probably makes me come across as rude that I don't respond straight away anc I can't really explain why I don't. If someone called me or I called them, I can make decisions quickly and chat happily, but messaging is awful.

If you're making plans just ring them

I'd agree ideally same day for a logistics type question. 48 hrs ish for a general chat. (Though normally more like a couple of hours at most). I can't stand this whole 'oh I'm the the friend who forgets to text back' - not least because these people seem to have time to unearth and post these memes on social media.

So although it appears unfashionable I'd agree if someone is consistently taking ages to respond then it suggests to me I'm not really high value - and that might be fine for both of us but let's not pretend it's anything other than what it is?!

For me, I reply generally using the same medium the message was sent to me. Phone call to me gets a phone call back etc.

Phone calls are the highest priority, someone leaves me a message and they will get a response as soon as I'm able to respond. SMS, WhatsApp, email etc are all secondary priority and will get a response when I have time unless there is a specific deadline (I.e. a planned arrangement).

I realise that I am an old fart though, and the younger generation(s) use messaging differently. All of my friends are the same as me though, if something is important and requires a response, we phone each other.

I have told my family that a thumbs up means I have seen your message and no reply needed or conversation is ended. Its been a godsend.

I don’t seem to get all WhatsApp notifications so it can take me a while to see things. Could be something like that.

God no, don't do that 😂😂

I reply same day, always. Some people do take a few days. A week I’d assume they aren’t that invested

Noooooo...... I never make phone calls, even though I'm old. They are so intrusive for the other person.

I generally message people rather than ring because i feel the same but in the event of making plans for a particular time and date sometimes it is easier to phone

No they aren't. It's what voicemail is for. And silent mode. 😉

If a specific plan that's soon and they haven't responded within 24 hours I would assume they can't or don't want to and are putting off the im sorry I can't text or that they are seeing if something better comes up.. if they haven't replied within 24 hours I would invite someone else - they will soon realise they need to reply faster if they want to go to cool stuff with you! Weekend are too precious x

I can take days to reply to 'let's meet Ip when are your dates' messages as I usually have a few of them and cross referencing my calendars can actually take a good 15 mins which I forget to do when I have the time (I have a baby so no time or random bursts of time only!)

Sometimes I will Send a holding voicenote

Off-topic but the problem may not exist in years to come.

WhatsApp are seriously considering leaving the UK market.

If its something where you are trying to make plans I'd expect a pretty swift reply.
I know one of my friends does struggle and gets easily overwhelmed so forgive her quite lengthy gaps in replying if its just chat, but she would probably still reply to a message like yours within a day or two.

I don't ring people to make plans, it puts them on the spot.

Are you a journalist writing an article on this?

Everybody’s on their phone these days, and whilst I fully understand people are busy and have lives etc, if they can scroll mumsnet etc after work or whenever they are free, they have the time to respond to a message.

It’s plain rude to go over 2 days max. Who leaves someone hanging for 5 days plus? I cut a friendship off for this because it felt as if they didn’t give a shit about my time or if I was in their lives or not, so I let it go to do them a favour. I wouldn’t go over 2 days with an acquaintance.