Age gap relationships

[Starywhat]

I recently reconnected with an old friend, he is 50, his wife 28. They have been married 5 years, together 8 and have 2 young children. She is an extremely beautiful young woman (the type who could model or have any man they want), he is attractive and perhaps looks a little younger than he is, but the clincher is he is well off, makes £200,000 + a year (we work in the same industry so I can say this with confidence), owns a large house, no mortgage in a nice area of London. She has never worked, she has two masters degrees, but then went into raising their children. I very much get the vibe she is in it for the money, she could have anyone and is certainly more attractive than him. The whole relationship freaks me out a little (he seems to have no interest in his kids, I've never seen her not looking perfect, plenty of rumours around that he is having an affair).
Obviously not my business really, but AIBU to think age gap relationships are never about love and are often like my friends where its money/young good looking and to find them sort of creepy?

10-15 year age gaps I can understand. Shagging a pensioner at 40yo is a bit ick for me though tbh.

Obviously not my business really

It's not your business at all.

Old 'friend' you say? 🤣

Some will be about love and some will be about money, which is the same for those without an age gap 🤷‍♂️

Who knows what goes on in a relationship? Love, money, the size of his cock, maybe she wanted to settle down relatively early, could be looking for a father figure...I don't judge, personally - as long as the people involved are consenting adults it doesn't bother me regardless of the size of the gap. I just think that with the past few years and current world events, life's too short...we're only here once and yes, I'm attracted to people much younger and older.

I guess things will become apparent the more you spend time with him and them.

I’m sure some are genuine. I’m sure some are about mutual exchange of benefits. But that’s true of some relationships involving all ages; and as long as each party is aware of what the deal is and happy with their lot it’s their business.

Whatever is happening in your friend's relationship only tells you about that particular relationship.

It doesn't tell you anything about any other relationship.

Sweeping, judgemental statements, like, "age gap relationships are never about love" just make you look like an idiot.

Replace "age gap" with "interracial" or "inter religion" or "homosexual" - it shows very clearly how stupidly ridiculous you're being.

Why do you think age gap relationships are different from other relationships? I bet if you really think about it, it's for the same bigoted reasons people used to abuse interracial couples.

You might not be attracted to someone older, or a different race, or a different religion, or the same sex - but that doesn't mean noone else is.

You're just ignorant and judgemental. Sort your shit out.

I was with a guy 20 years older than me. He was the same age as my mum. We were friends to start. In the beginning of the friendship didn't find him attractive at all but like mold he grow on me. I was madly in love with him. I would have stayed with him had he wanted more kids (he had 2 pre teens) and built a family with him. However. We were at different stages. He didn't want to deal with babies again and I didn't want to lose my chance of having kids. We separated amicably after nearly 3 years. I still think fondly of him. He most definitely wasn't loaded. He wasn't conventionally attractive. He was just a nice, funny and clever guy. I would have been considered attractive but definitely not model material.

My marriage has a large age gap. It was entirely about love and a connection and us just slotting together in a relationship easily. Neither of us are wealthy and now we have numerous children and we prioritise our family life over everything.
Nothing to do with money 😂

This.

I've met my absolute soul mate and it makes me sad to think that other people would only ever find our love creepy and jump to the worst conclusions about it. So much so that I've had to keep it secret to all but my most trusted friends. In truth, he's utterly wonderful, we're a perfect match, and I want to tell the world about him. I don't notice our age gap one bit, except in the judgemental eyes of others.
Posts like this made me feel really sad.

My 'This' referred to @Azandme 's post. It's the same as judging interracial or gay relationships. You can't throw everyone into the same box and say it's all creepy.

Idk. Some are genuine. Some aren't. My fiancé is 13 years older than me, I'm 27 he's 40 this year. Very much in love, in-fact I'd say hes my soul mate!

🙄not another age related post.

That’s a really good post @Azandme and sums it up well.

My only issue is when the younger partner is very young; which at 20 she potentially could have been (it’s very subjective peoples maturity levels at that age) but if she’s got herself two masters then she’s clearly bright.

Relationships can be amazingly wonderful, horrifically toxic, or just dull and dependable with a range of shade in between.

What business is it of yours @Starywhat ???

Or is this a reverse???

Do you exaggerate when you suggest that he is only a little younger than his years, it could be that he is substantially younger, and that actually you are a bit bias??? With two masters degrees she was just as eligible for somebody of her own years with money. Perhaps this guy is rather exceptional? In my view it often makes good sense when there exists wide years of age disparity, that the "real age" of the older partner tends to being considerably less, and that they often provide for a considerably better experience than most guys that are considerably younger..Money and property should be a consideration if there are children.

Exactly so!
All I would add is that should years of disparity be considerable that friendship is very often more vital than romance, and that platonic love will likely be more successful than romantic.

Zombie post 2023

What a mean thread op. She's clever and pretty and you sound bitter and jealous. Their relationship obviously suits them and if she wanted money sounds like she could make it herself. I know plenty of men who would enjoy the relationship her has there and I know someone women would to. They have young kids and have been together 8 years. Will you be happy if they split up?

My partner is older than me, and wealthy. We don't live together, independently of one another we are successful. i didn't know his age for a while as he looks lots younger and obviously I didn't know about his finances until way later. You seem to be making big assumptions that one cannot love the other unless they are at the same point in life, age, wealth, success etc. Perhaps for her success is a solid marriage and kids and someone she gets on well with. The age bit I'm sure they both considered. You don't sound like a very nice friend to him.

Yes, jealousy often plays the greater role when disparity of years is scrutinized, and of jealousy, it never ever hits surface in its original form.