Has anyone fixed their depression without medication? Any inspiring stories?

[blackdogdays]

My mum died 6 months ago and I suspect I have become depressed. I'm finding it very hard.

Life is passing me by in a way and it is very frustrating but I have such a sense of what's the point? Which makes me think that is a classic sign of depression.

I have so many things I'd like to do in theory but very little motivation or energy. Last week was terrible for this I did fuck all apart from lie around the house. This week is a bit better.

How can you make yourself do things that would improve life when feeling depressed? What worked for you?

I had a really bad reaction to SSRI medication before and do not want to try any medication at this point.

Also I wanted to add it nearly feels like having PMT all the time?

Has anyone noticed depression ever feeling that way? Irritability off the chart and no patience and tearful anger if minor stuff goes wrong?

What worked for me was a complete fresh start. I got a job for three months of the summer in a different country and it gave me the time to reflect and heal. Because your depression is caused by circumstances and not chemical I think it will be easier for you. I recommend starting a morning and night routine that feels healthy and doable. Things like make the bed, getting up and going to bed at a certain time, exercise, reading. After two months of ensuring this I was feeling so much better. Also I kept telling myself that I am healing and I am healthy.

I came off antidepressants when I stopped eating sugar. How’s your diet?

Have you asked your GP about referring you for CBT?

I recommend starting a morning and night routine that feels healthy and doable.

@trooop This is such a great idea thank you. I used to have somewhat of a morning routine involving a 5 - 10 meditation and at some point over the awful last couple of years of stress stopped doing it. Had quite forgotten it.

It used to really set me up for the day.

Oh sorry to hear you had a bad reaction. I have had good results taking medication very short term just to break the cycle. Just one month was enough to let me start exercising, sort out my diet and arrange to meet people. Once you do that it really helps.

If you lack motivation find something you have a commitment to do...whether it's making a date with a friend so you have to stick to it, or booking onto an exercise class at a fixed time, or volunteering/joining a club.
All these are better than vague promises to go for a walk or something that you can more easily put off.

Also there are some great combined mental & physical health groups run out of leisure centres, or counselling offered as a "walk and talk" package.

I found it helped to plan to do what I needed to in the morning/first thing. If I put it off till after lunch I just wouldn't bother.

Pretty terrible tbh.

Though easier to be better from today as I've been eating loads of bread for weeks to do a coeliac blood test which I had today.

Now it's done and dusted and even if it comes back negative I can go back to not eating bread every bloody day. It makes me so lazy and I end up just having toast for lunch instead of any salad or soup or anything actually nourishing.

I'm not a fan of CBT.

I'm having private psychotherapy. I think it is helpful in general but I don't really know.

Have you accessed any wellbeing services? I have seen big changes in people through connecting to community groups, volunteering etc. As you say there is lots you'd like to do in theory, sometimes having someone to guide and encourage you can motivate you to take the leap from thinking to doing.
I have felt the same as you describe in the past, well for most of my life actually. With the irritability as well as feeling low. Mirtazapine is what worked for me, it's not an ssri, but I appreciate medication is not for everyone.
I'm sorry for your loss. Losing your mum is one of the toughest things you can go through. I hope you start to feel better soon xxx

This wouldn't work for everyone but I changed literally everything except my husband
Job
Moved to a different country
Had to make new friend, start new hobbies.

Zero medication

I volunteer at a soup kitchen and get a lot from that. Just a few hours every 10 days though but I think the organisation is wonderful so it means a lot to me.

My shifts were cancelled for a month as they had so many volunteers and needed to share out all the work between us! And I really missed it.

I did notice that the longer I went not doing it the more it became another what's the point? thing. I mean they have so many volunteers they don't really need another person.

Plus is it not questionable to get a sense of satisfaction out of it anyway as though I'm quite literally distracting myself from my own pain by focusing on people in a terrible situation of their own? I don't know. I don't know if that is valid or if that is my depression trying to criticise me for doing basically anything...

Going to go back to my shift next week though as I think the organisation is so good.

Is your depression (feeling low ) due to grieving your Mother OP ?
There's no rules around grief. 💐

I do take medication, but I have to do a lot myself to keep myself well too. Regular exercise is key for me. I should eat better, but I know that would further help. Being outside in nature is great, and I love cold water swimming for boosting my mood. Spending time with friends helps, as does getting the right balance with work and life (I realise that sometimes people don’t have much choice with work). If any of those things fall out of line, I notice a dip in my mood, and have to spend some time reflecting on what needs to change.

Therapy helps me too; though I realise I’m in a privileged position to be able to afford this.

Exercise has helped me at every difficult time in life. It doesn't have to be some crazy gym routine either, just a walk every day for an hour or a swim. If you can't face a walk, start with sitting out in the sunshine for half an hour every day. Then move onto being active. Listen to some music or a podcast while you walk. It has the power to change your whole perspective. It doesn't change your problems, but it gives you greater ability to cope with them.

Yes. It feels intolerable that I have to live the rest of my life without being able to have a conversation with her.

I know we all have to adapt after major loss but I feel like I just can't adapt and actually have any joy again. It just seems like an endurance test now.

When people talk about eating better what do you all generally mean?

I know it means different things to different people. For me when I'm eating well it means getting my 5 a day and not much processed food. Mainly veggie meals but generous helpings of steak and salmon once a week.

Wish there was a magic fruit or vegetable combo to banish depression...

I have been living on cheese on toast and it's probably not helping my mental state.

I took up running. I know, I know, it's a cliché and I sound like a bellend but it honestly worked for me. The endorphins give me such a feel good boost that if things are getting on top of me, it seems to reset my mind to better deal.

It's such a short time that you've lost your Mum OP.
Have you anyone to share your grief with ?

Hi OP,

Sorry to hear that you are struggling, and about your mum. I have previously dragged myself out of depression without medication, and am also recently bereaved, so hopefully I can give some advice.

I was depressed for most of my 20s, and I attributed this to personal relationship issues (family problems and lack of success in romantic relationships). I thought for the longest time that I could only be happy if I solved these personal issues, but actually, I still haven't really solved them. What finally did get me out of a depressed state was getting a stable job - I had been in university and then graduate school for years, living on a low budget in an area with a rapidly increasing cost of living and worrying about what I would do after graduation. I hadn't realised how much that had contributed to my depression, but it turns out that I can cope with relationship problems as long as I'm OK in other areas of my life.

And regarding bereavement, I've found it useful to put my energy into cleaning, exercising, healthy eating, work, and trying to stay in touch with family and friends. I am still lying around my flat crying a lot and staying up very late at night when I know I shouldn't, but I suppose at least I'm in a clean flat.

So, I really agree with @trooop about focusing on changing things that are in your control, particularly healthy habits or trying to resolve other things that are causing you stress. Then at least the stress of losing your mum isn't compounded by other stressors.

I hope that helps

I was once advised to exercise. I'm was the best advice given. Got me out of a very difficult phase. It's amazing how much better you feel when exercising. It's hard to begin with but it works!