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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To HATE shopping when….

15 replies

taratatata · 15/08/2023 16:25

Sales assistants bound up to you. I know it’s their job, I once was told to do it in my Saturday job but it made me squirm as I know most people would rather be left alone

We’ve just been to try on wedding bands and needed the assistant to unlock the cabinet for a few styles, once she had done so she just didn’t go away and stood right over us whilst I awkwardly looked over at DP trying to gauge if he liked them or not. I never know what to say, I hate the small talk and making my face look as if I like the product. I feel so under scrutiny. This was just a mainstream jewellers too.

We don’t want to pay more than £500 per ring if we can help it, so feel apprehensive about going into smaller bespoke shops as things are usually pricier aren’t they.

I am neurodiverse & believe DP is too, so we don’t always navigate social situations brilliantly but it just totally put me off buying and left me in a bad mood about the whole thing.

Why can’t sales assistants take the hint that you are grateful they’re there, but happy to be left to browse and can ask them for some help if you need them?

OP posts:

NillyNoMates · 15/08/2023 16:26

I felt like I was being interrogated in a supermarket by the cashier last week.

GrazingSheep · 15/08/2023 16:27

I don’t think I have ever been in a jewellery shop where the staff leave you alone to try on items.

Goldsilverbronze1 · 15/08/2023 16:28

They're not going yo leave you alone with wedding rings are they?

VeridicalVagabond · 15/08/2023 16:28

I mean if they had to unlock the cabinet I would assume they're not allowed to then just wander off, they probably have to stand by until the cabinet is locked again, surely? Otherwise what's the point in locking it in the first place?

But I know what you mean about over enthusiastic sales assistants, drives me mad too as under most circumstances I just want to browse in peace.

Normalnormal · 15/08/2023 16:28

They are need to stay next to the expensive jewellery so you or someone else doesn’t steal it.

melj1213 · 15/08/2023 16:29

In general YANBU - I work in retail and hate when head offices insist on customers being greeted and essentially pounced on as soon as they walk through the doors; customers hate it, staff hate it but HO want it to be done so they have to comply.

In this situation though YABU - the sales assistant has just unlocked a cabinet with hundreds, if not thousands, of pounds worth of merchandise all of which are small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, of course they are going to stay very close by and keep an eye on you, they can't take the risk of theft.

LuvSmallDogs · 15/08/2023 16:30

I'd have thought in this case, the assistant would be hovering in case you used sleight of hand to acquire an expensive piece of jewellery!

Sirzy · 15/08/2023 16:31

I get you in general but with things like rings I wouldn’t expect them to leave you alone with them

Original poster

taratatata · 15/08/2023 16:32

It never even occurred to me why they’d be standing so close. Haha. Of course!! Silly me. I think she was awkward too as it was her first day, maybe it was the silence and staring that threw me… if she’d been there longer maybe she would be chatting to us and asking us about the wedding etc

OP posts:

catsnhats11 · 15/08/2023 16:34

That's standard for a jewellery shop for obvious reasons, though ideally they should be quiet to let you think and discuss (whilst subtly watching you like a hawk ha!)

Possimpible · 15/08/2023 16:34

I can see you've now realised YABU OP, but I just wanted to say - smaller independents are definitely worth trying. We got wedding rings for £500 each from an independent jeweller in a traditionally expensive area near where we live. Also it's worth going to the odd wedding fair, sometimes you get discounts.

Seasidegrandma · 15/08/2023 16:37

It was over 50 years ago but when we went to a small jewellers in Carmarthen in Wales to choose an engagement ring she closed the shop and then left us alone with the rings to make our choice by ourselves.
Can't see that happening today.

LadyBird1973 · 15/08/2023 16:59

The make up shop Morphe is terrible for this - you can be in there for 30 seconds and 4 sales assistants will tell you about their promotion! It's not a comfortable way to shop.
But I do get it in a jewellery shop - they don't know you and can't wander off while you try on wedding rings.

Hufflepods · 15/08/2023 18:09

Well they are hardly going to leave you with all the items they’ve just unlocked from the cabinet!

BogRollBOGOF · 15/08/2023 18:14

I hate it when they bound up before you've had chance to browse, and are nowhere to be found when you do require some service.

My first job was in a shop with a lot of "script" to follow and it's not customer friendly at all. I'm sure it puts more people off than encourages purchases!

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