Hubby going into work tonight?

[wowmummy]

Ok so a bit of background hubby works as a on call fire fighter and a goods personnel for ups. For ups he works 2-7am. On Thursday he has a presentation for the fire service so has had this mornings ups shift off and tomorrow mornings. So yesterday he went to 'drill' which is work at the station in the morning as usual. He went at night as well as he will miss 'drill' on Thursday - due to the presentation. He's been to drill this morning which is optional but he wanted to so fine. We've got swimming lessons and family swim on Tuesday nights - every week we do even in term time. He has now said he is going to drill tonight as well. He said because there is 2 people off but I said it's because he's not at work - he just looked at me.

Now I saw the fact he wasn't going into work as a bonus, time for us. He says he needs to be asleep by 10 usually when he's at work at ups. We haven't had sex or any time together for weeks and if he's watching a film at 7 at night I know it's not going to happen BUT because he's not at work I thought some nice time together would be ok.

I'm not going to argue about it, I cba. But AIThinkingU?! The constant feel of loneliness is boring and I have nothing to do at night than just to go to sleep 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can't say he's never with us as he is coming swimming. But you know when he's chosen to go in for an extra drill than stay at home and relax, I know i'm ultra boring

I'm your husband in our family dynamic. I'm a nurse and I always pick up overtime shifts and I'll be honest, I'll forget that I'm leaving my husband with the kids in bed and he's bored home alone. Sometimes I need a stern reminder. I don't do it on purpose, I do it to get extra cash for us.

So is he normally working in the evenings? When is he normally not working and not sleeping? Is there a reason you've not had family or couple time then?
I'm trying to understand if it's just about this one evening or a wider pattern

DH works late 5 nights a week and his two nights off are Monday and Wednesday so we have to schedule couple time.

I have loads to keep me busy in the evening though as I am usually on my own after the kids are asleep - I host our book club, batch cook, catch up on work/life admin, read, practice my instrument, go on the peloton, do YouTube exercise videos, declutter, do housework... I listen to a lot of podcasts and audiobooks to keep me company too!

No he doesn't work in the evenings. Only goes to drill on a Thursday with the fire service. Generally he comes home from work - either goes to the fire station or goes to bed till 2pm then get up will have tea and put the kids to bed and then sit down but he wants to be asleep by 10pm. Which is fine I understand he wakes up at 2am. The kids going to bed at 7 and then after tidying or whatever just we don't have a lot of time or make the time. Generally he will play his games or watch a film, I will go to sleep. At the weekend we might play cards or something. To say we don't spend any time together is a lie actually as we do so that

Thankyou, that's really helpful and given me some ideas there

I think you're being a bit dramatic. He is working 1 extra shift because 2 people in work are off.

As for only spending the evening together and him having to go to bed by 10pm, that just sounds normal really. If anything he is barely sleeping and this means you have long evenings together as a family, it just starts earlier!

I guess your own work schedule is much more predictable, which makes it hard to understand shift workers.
Tbf, he could be working overtime to bring in a bit of extra cash to enjoy later. I would rather have him around for some saved up for 'fun time' like a holiday or theatre trip rather than a mundane night at home.