DV? Or not?

[Winniethepig]

Our daughter, who is 3 and 3 months, is really starting to test boundaries at bed time, and she clearly favours DH but then she kicks off and he completely loses his cool and shouts her at the top his lungs. So loud the police were called She asks for her mummy when this happens (I went in once and got into bed with her to calm her down) and DH is refusing to let me go in to see her because he thinks I'll get in bed with her again Its just constant screaming from him. Hardly conducive to sleep. I have no idea what do to. My instincts is to take her and my out of the house to my parents until we can agree on a way to parent that is calm and peaceful.

Is this DV? Should be I be getting into bed with her to calm her down. I'm at a loss, suggestions on how dads can effectively do bedtime (he is now refusing) - thanks, one heart broken mama

I'm not sure the label matters, what matters here is your poor child.

I think taking he to your parents until it's sorted out is a great idea.

He's abusive.

How does he stop you ? Who the fuck does he think he is?

Stay with your parents.

I understand he must think you’re undermining his parenting when he’s putting her to bed and then you’re going in and comforting her. BUT, of course shouting at her (at all- but especially loud enough for police to be called!) is NOT on! It’s horrible and must be very very scary for her and of course she needs comfort after that. It’s certainly not helping her go to sleep. Please don’t allow him to shout at her like to us. Of course we can all lose our rag a bit sometimes when kids play up, but as a regular thing so loud the police are called is not on.

Go to your parents.

It is perfectly normal (not ideal, but normal) to sleep with a toddler.

It is not normal to behave in the way your husband is, she will be scared of him, is that what he wants?

What did the police say?

And do contact Women's Aid for advice

*like this

Go to your parents. He's an arsehole

And yes - go to your parents until he can find a way to control his anger. Or for good (leave him for good) if he can’t manage that.

Your husband is terrorising you and your child and it’s harming both of you. He shouted so much that someone called the police? He ‘won’t let you’ go to your child? Regardless of parenting techniques and how you manage bedtimes, his behaviour is 100% unacceptable and yes, abusive.