Sarah and I have been friends for over 10 years and I am her daughters Godmother (3). She is incredibly intelligent but prioritises men over friendship and at times her daughter. Our friend group essentially fell apart when Sarah started sleeping with one of our then mutual friends boyfriends behind her back. I loved Sarah as she was my best friend and tried not to feed into the drama but put it down to us all being young and dumb.
Fast forward, Sarah meets her daughters father in the local nightclub and they were together for just under two years until she fell out love and they decided to split. Sarah purposely fell pregnant and stopped taking her contraception without telling her then BF and one of our friends let this information “slip” in passing to her BD. They now have issues coparenting and her baby daddy couldn’t be any less interested in their child.
Sarah now has a new boyfriend and they are moving at lightening pace. Within the first week he met her daughter without BD’s consent and by the third they were an official couple exchanging I love yous. Like the beginning of any relationship, friends became less of a priority and none of us really met up with her much despite being invited.
Sarah fell pregnant but had an abortion and decided to tell her now boyfriend and parents she miscarried. We tried to support Sarah as best as we could during this time but she preferred having her BF around for comfort. I didn’t want Sarah to feel alone so reached out to offer support privately but she advised she did not want to meet, I understood and was thinking of her, but a week later I received a message blaming me for isolating her and not being there for her.
I decided to take a step back because the message was very hurtful. We managed to repair our friendship but Sarah decided to take weeks at a time to reply to texts, and I eventually decided to stop reaching out. She messaged me yesterday for the first time in over a month as if everything was normal and it didn’t sit right with me, so I decided to tell her how I felt and said neither of us were at fault but that we were both at different stages of our life.
Initially, she took accountability but then said there’s a root cause to the problem she’s not responsible for so I queried what? She said she wasn’t yet sure but that it’s my fault our friendship is falling apart. I provided multiple screenshots of messages left unopened and left on delivered. Emails of cancelled bookings! She then tried to deflect the conversation and say she was nearly committed because she was so depressed and I never reached out.
I told Sarah I needed space to think if our friendship could yet again be prepared and she was not satisfied with this response. I’ve never judged her for her actions but reflecting on our friendship now as I type, I realise she has a compulsive tendency to be dishonest and lie. I have decided I do not want Sarah to be in my life for any longer as we really no longer have anything in common and I can’t justify her frequent lies.