If you are European, do you mostly have EU friends here in the UK?

[HolyParc]

I have been in the UK for years now but all the closest friends I made here are actually people from my country or other EU countries. I love Britain and feel this is my second home, have a good job here etc but I never managed to get a close connection with anyone who is British, other than the odd post drinks work with a colleague (just superficial relationships iyswim).
Am I weird for this or have you experienced the same? If so, what do you think it's stopping you?

The PP said it was a leap for anyone to move countries not that everyone was desperate.

It was my experience. I made lots of British as well as international friends in Oxford and London, but zilch in years in the East Midlands, other than other blow-ins at my university job.

It's offensive nonsense. And hugely ignorant.

I've been here for nearly 20 years and most of my friends are British, along with a few other Europeans I've met through work or local things. I went to uni here but don't have friends from that time really as nearly everyone at halls and on my course was an international or exchange student and went back to their home country.

I don’t think so, necessarily, and I come from a remote, rural area in my home country, but one that always had lots of blow-ins. I’d lived in cities in England very happily for years, with lots of British friends, but when I moved to a large village in the East Midlands (not remote, near a city and several sizeable towns), I hit a real wall (and one that never resolved itself, despite making real efforts for years).

Looking back, this was just somewhere with a very stable population. Most of my son’s classmates’ parents had gone to that same village school and married and settled locally, surrounded by their extended families and people they had always known. DH and I, plus one Canadian who’d married in, were the only foreigners among c.1500 people. Nearly everyone who moved in had some local connection. They had no need for new friends, and, which I only realised years later, had seldom or never needed the ‘skill set’ I think of as normal (for someone who’s moved around a lot and had to be proactive about friendships), where you meet new people, introduce yourself, ask about them etc.

Whereas I've had a very different experience with several villages in the North West where the locals were friendly and welcoming. The locals didn't need to 'look for new friends' as most of the families had lived in those villages for years, often going back centuries (!), but they were happy to mix with incomers as long as they were friendly and respectful (rather than being the sort of people who buy a house next to a 400 year old church and then complain about the bell ringing). They were actually the nicest, most helpful bunch of people and very curious and interested in different backgrounds and experiences.

I started bellringing when I lived in the village — it was fascinating!

I have UK friends because I went to university in the UK. Other than them, I have one English friend but otherwise EU or Australian or NZ or SA or Indian or Pakistani or African. I live in London and work in the NHS and I suppose the people looking to make new friends are the ones who have started from scratch in a new place as adults.

I try not to be too paranoid but yes we’re Eastern European (and not the just passable Polish ones…). It’s a barrier in a number of ways. Schooling kids (no, not builders, yes still aspirational as anyone else and in professional jobs), presumptions about us (yes we do actually like spicy food, no we have never held any right wing views), work (yes, I can communicate clearly, my masters degree was in English and I’ve been a teacher here) or socialising (we actually don’t know many people from our home country).

Oh my god absolutely.
Grew up quite poor, especially compared to many Brits, bit have summer cottage. Grow my own food and not getting why that is apparently MC.
Eat foods which are "wanky middle class" aka poor people's food from other countries. I mean like kefir or sauerkraut are really not that bloody exotic 🙄Richer one is even more wanky.
DH is the same. He still laughs at hummus being middle class.
I think for quite a few people the class mystery is just too uncomfortable.

That said, most of our friends were immigrants but we did make few great British frienda (ha). And very few from our own countries actually. I am EE he is ME

It's probably also because if you grew up somewhere you have your circle that's it. No space for new people later sometimes

I came to the UK for uni (Oxbridge) and stayed, and even that was a bit late as I ended up with a group of people who had gone through quite a different education system already and kind of knew where they stood in life.

I'm British but have worked and studied overseas. My best friends are British living in Germany, British living in the UK, German living in Germany and American living in Australia!

The UK-based ones are all from my running club or from university. There are non-Brits in our running club too, and I think they are treated just the same as the Brits.

When I was overseas Brits did tend to flock together and it was a bit tedious. Equally it was tedious when I had a job where pretty much all my colleagues were Australian or from New Zealand and they used to moan about the UK constantly. So I've seen it from both sides.

As for the class thing, I would have thought that it was better to sit outside the perceived class system - if people can't place you due to your accent, they can't have biases.

Being hard to place certainly has its advantages! I actually prefer it that way. But in certain circles you’re only really ‘in’ if others can be sure you’re in.

I’m from pretty rural Wales and have good friends from Russia, Lithuania and Thailand who I’ve met socially through kids’ school, sports etc and clicked with. I’m yet to meet a British person who has never left the country though.😉

As for the class thing, I would have thought that it was better to sit outside the perceived class system - if people can't place you due to your accent, they can't have biases.

Many people like to put others in boxes they think they should be in. If you deviate it makea them confused. Like if you are at seminar for work and at break where people talk about where they live etc, you live in absolutely not the posh area(smart budget imho), you happily chat about your £30 shoes (i love bargain) in your strong EE accent and then you whisk up sliced kohlrabi and homemade shawarma wrap for lunch from your bag😂 wanky