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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents penalised for formula feeding

683 replies

thechristmaspudding · 14/08/2023 17:56

I just wanted to open up a discussion to find out the perspectives of other parents on this subject. I would also be interested to hear the opinions of midwives, health visitors and other health care professionals involved with families.
To give a bit of background information, I am a member of the Boots parenting club, which has many parents are likely to be aware gives you access to discounts and offers on baby related items in store. I went into my local boots today to buy my son's formula, hoping to get a good deal as I had been notified of an offer in store. Now, in my sleep deprived state I did not read the offer properly and it did clearly state that it was an offer for follow on formula and not infant first. The cashier was very polite and explained that due to government regulations shops are not legally allowed to offer discounts on infant first formula due to the government expectation that breastfeeding should be encouraged for the first six months. To be clear, I am not taking issue with Boots or any other shop, but it got me questioning whether this is fair? No, I do not believe that formula companies should be able to dissuade women from breastfeeding through aggressive marketing campaigns that encourage parents to buy their product. But surely parents have the right to weigh up the pros and cons of bottle feeding and make an informed choice that reflects the needs and circumstances of their own family? I tried really, really hard to breastfeed but found it extremely difficult and due to a lack of postnatal support gave up (the inadequate breastfeeding support in this country is another issue in itself). This is something I still regret and struggle with. However, my personal experience aside, formula feeding is a valid choice to make whether parents decide to feed this way from birth or at a later stage.
I also remember watching an episode of dispatches a few years ago on how due to the cost of formula many families resort to watering down their baby's feed or even to stealing. This is a situation that is likely to have worsened as a result of the cost of living crisis.
So my question is, AIBU in thinking that it is wrong to penalise bottle-feeding parents when it comes to the cost of formula?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
doroda · 14/08/2023 19:27

Formula should be unbranded and obtained on prescription. Free to low income families. No marketing, no point collecting.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:28

Just need to make sure we are policing women with newborns it seems. There are many things that are misogynistic but not bing able to collect Advantage card points on formula is not one of them. And no one is policing how you feed your child - you have total and utter freedom to feed them how you want. You just can’t be rewarded for it, as explained why in my post.

Blossomtoes · 14/08/2023 19:28

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:15

I know Monday’s are usually boring but the melodramatics are really unnecessary and quite embarrassing.

Where did I say babies shouldn’t be fed? Be a dear and Screengrab it please

Show quote history

WeetabixTowels · Today 19:08
I really don’t like ‘fed is best’. You don’t get cookies for not starving your child.

Susannainblue · 14/08/2023 19:28

Dasisr · 14/08/2023 19:25

I didn’t say they were comparing it to alcohol and cigarettes. I’m saying it’s ridiculous that a completely valid and safe and monitored and approved food for babies is excluded from any kind of promotion. Meanwhile I can buy my now 1 year old as much chocolate and processed food as I like and receive a discount for doing so. Obviously noone gives a crap about the health of my baby once they’re past formula age. Just need to make sure we are policing women with newborns it seems.

And my god I’m so tired of hearing blah blah back 50 years ago in Africa nestle did this so in modern western society we need to prevent advertising of formula. I wanted to breastfeed. I wasn’t remotely influenced by advertising of follow on milks in making my decision. However I didn’t manage to exclusively breastfeed so I bought formula. How is excluding it from a promotion having an influence on women’s decisions.

Show quote history

It wasn't just in Africa, but in England too, as I've explained upthread.

Oliotya · 14/08/2023 19:28

Simonjt · 14/08/2023 18:50

I’ve personally witnessed babies die because their mothers were unable to feed them, why are you trying to convince yourself that babies dying isn’t common and that those infants didn’t die?

Show quote history

My 1st was formula fed in a developing country. Our formula budget was 2/3 of the average household income. If a mother in a poor country can't breastfeed, formula is rarely the solution. Affordability, access to clean water, fuel for boiling water and sterilizing etc. A baby is more likely to die from formula than being breastfed by a well supported mother or family member.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:29

I wasn’t remotely influenced by advertising of follow on milks in making my decision

lol
And yet you knew formula existed as an alternative right? Why do you think that is? That isn’t innate knowledge - it’s because it’s been marketed to you

Floofsquidge · 14/08/2023 19:29

Even as a FF mum I agreed with the reasoning behind a ban on marketing promotions, but what was incredibly frustrating was when coupons for money off whole shop couldn't be used if formula was in your basket.

Boots points was one thing, but say Waitrose voucher for £10 of a shop over £x was annoying, especially during lockdown where I couldn't necessarily get a many slots or couldn't get out to the shops. I'd have to either checkout twice / 2 slots to use a voucher or make a separate journey for formula. That honestly did feel like demonising FF mothers.

WarriorN · 14/08/2023 19:29

Restrictions are there for a very good reason.

Ideally first formula would be one brand only government owned and regulated so there was no choice. It would just be first formula or breastfeeding.

See "the policy's of breastfeeding book" to understand why.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:30

Rollonsept · 14/08/2023 19:25

Well nobody really cares and it's not your business on how a mother is feeding her child. Its totally unacceptable you wouldn't usually poke your nose in an older child's diet would you? All hell would break loose if was a 4 year old child. Mind your own breasts and children.

Show quote history

Are my eyes deceiving me and I actually wrote ‘fuck all formula feeders’? Why are people claiming I said something I didn’t?

Hi early you lot are judging yourselves and telling yourselves it’s other people.

Snugglemonkey · 14/08/2023 19:30

Soubriquet · 14/08/2023 18:37

For Christs sake @Merseymum992

My dd had tongue tie. Quite badly actually. She couldn’t latch on to my nipple but she was ok with a bottle.

Her problems got lost in the system because I gave birth in a different county. By the time she was seen again, she was over one and because she had weaned ok and was starting to speak, they discharged us.

Shes 10 now and still tongue tied. The only thing she can’t do, is roll her tongue.

She HAD to have formula. My nipples were in agony trying to breastfeed her and jt got to the point where I resented trying to hold her. My brand new born baby and I didn’t want to hold her.

My son on the other hand, I really tried with him but guess what..he was fucking allergic. So he had to have a special formula.

My son was allergic. I stripped all food with his known allergens out of my diet and he was grand. Stories like your make me sad, did you have he support of dieticians, specialists in allergy etc. We did, because my son had other complex health needs. But I do not think the same services are open to everyone and think that is so unfair. With the appropriate help, the vast majority of people can breastfeed at least partially.

Simonjt · 14/08/2023 19:30

Oliotya · 14/08/2023 19:28

My 1st was formula fed in a developing country. Our formula budget was 2/3 of the average household income. If a mother in a poor country can't breastfeed, formula is rarely the solution. Affordability, access to clean water, fuel for boiling water and sterilizing etc. A baby is more likely to die from formula than being breastfed by a well supported mother or family member.

Show quote history

I was replying to someone who confidently said all mothers can breastfeed.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:30

IhearyouClemFandango · 14/08/2023 19:25

There is a worldwide ban on the promotion of formula milk after Nestle showed their true colours, which covers points etc. There are lots of violations though, which your example sounds like.

Show quote history

Well apparently what happened to Africans doesn’t matter - clearly only British babies are important

OddsocksinmyDocs · 14/08/2023 19:30

Blossomtoes · 14/08/2023 19:28

WeetabixTowels · Today 19:08
I really don’t like ‘fed is best’. You don’t get cookies for not starving your child.

Show quote history

@Blossomtoes Are you confused by these responses too? 🙈🤣 They literally make no sense!

Dasisr · 14/08/2023 19:30

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:28

Just need to make sure we are policing women with newborns it seems. There are many things that are misogynistic but not bing able to collect Advantage card points on formula is not one of them. And no one is policing how you feed your child - you have total and utter freedom to feed them how you want. You just can’t be rewarded for it, as explained why in my post.

But I am rewarded for how I feed my child. Regardless of whether it’s an exclusive diet of cadburys chocolate or vegetables I get discounts on what I buy - excluding formula makes no sense - especially once a baby is let’s say 2 months old and the opportunity to breastfeed has passed.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:32

DatumTarum · 14/08/2023 19:27

And why do FF mothers act like some persecuted minority on here?

You're not, you're the majority.

So what is the problem?

This! So much ultra defensiveness when no one (except it seems one poster whose posts got deleted) said formula fed babies shouldn’t be fed, or whatever they think people are saying?

Blossomtoes · 14/08/2023 19:32

OddsocksinmyDocs · 14/08/2023 19:30

@Blossomtoes Are you confused by these responses too? 🙈🤣 They literally make no sense!

Show quote history

Totally. This thread’s the very definition of lunacy.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 14/08/2023 19:32

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 14/08/2023 18:06

Not the point, I know, but for a while now I’ve been noticing the huge difference in price between identical size tubs of Aptamil (£14) and Cow and Gate (£10) for the same product (first milk, follow on, etc.)

Why on earth would anyone choose to pay the higher price? Do they think that more expensive must = better?
Cow and Gate is an old and trusted U.K. brand - I can’t imagine that it’s inferior to Aptamil. If Aptamil is imported (I don’t know whether it is) that could account for at least some of the difference.

C&G gave my baby bad nappies. Aptamil didn't. Aptamil made my friends baby sick. SMA didn't. I wouldn't choose to buy the more expensive one just because its more expensife, but there's obviously some differences between the brands and how the ingredients/ratios impact babies digestive systems.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:33

doroda · 14/08/2023 19:27

Formula should be unbranded and obtained on prescription. Free to low income families. No marketing, no point collecting.

Just low income families?

What if high earner families can’t breastfeed or just plain old don’t want to?

Toottooot · 14/08/2023 19:33

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 18:59

Very few women are unable to physically breastfeed so it really is a choice for the vast majority. Let’s not pretend it’s not .

Show quote history

Here’s mi! Kept in hospital for a week after birth struggling to feed - but I guess you believe I chose to formula feed.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:33

Blossomtoes · 14/08/2023 19:28

WeetabixTowels · Today 19:08
I really don’t like ‘fed is best’. You don’t get cookies for not starving your child.

Show quote history

How is that saying babies shouldn’t be fed?

KajsaKavat · 14/08/2023 19:34

But most could just breastfeed and they would be rewarded by ut being free also. YABVU

Oliotya · 14/08/2023 19:34

Blossomtoes · 14/08/2023 19:28

WeetabixTowels · Today 19:08
I really don’t like ‘fed is best’. You don’t get cookies for not starving your child.

Show quote history

That doesn't say "babies shouldn't be fed" though does it

barms90 · 14/08/2023 19:34

The uk is different to the US. For a kick off wr get long maternity so no one needs to rush off back to work leaving baby with bottles.
Number 2 the government are incharge of our health care so they are always trying to reduce costs/save money. They often promote what they consider to be healthier options...for example 5 a day (this is to encourage you to eat fruit and veg) if you smoke they may give you a free e cigarette. This is why they are involved.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:34

Susannainblue · 14/08/2023 19:28

It wasn't just in Africa, but in England too, as I've explained upthread.

Show quote history

Im quite disturbed by the dismissal of the baby deaths in Africa.

Maybe now they know it happened in the UK it will bother them?

petersgirl · 14/08/2023 19:35

thechristmaspudding · 14/08/2023 17:56

I just wanted to open up a discussion to find out the perspectives of other parents on this subject. I would also be interested to hear the opinions of midwives, health visitors and other health care professionals involved with families.
To give a bit of background information, I am a member of the Boots parenting club, which has many parents are likely to be aware gives you access to discounts and offers on baby related items in store. I went into my local boots today to buy my son's formula, hoping to get a good deal as I had been notified of an offer in store. Now, in my sleep deprived state I did not read the offer properly and it did clearly state that it was an offer for follow on formula and not infant first. The cashier was very polite and explained that due to government regulations shops are not legally allowed to offer discounts on infant first formula due to the government expectation that breastfeeding should be encouraged for the first six months. To be clear, I am not taking issue with Boots or any other shop, but it got me questioning whether this is fair? No, I do not believe that formula companies should be able to dissuade women from breastfeeding through aggressive marketing campaigns that encourage parents to buy their product. But surely parents have the right to weigh up the pros and cons of bottle feeding and make an informed choice that reflects the needs and circumstances of their own family? I tried really, really hard to breastfeed but found it extremely difficult and due to a lack of postnatal support gave up (the inadequate breastfeeding support in this country is another issue in itself). This is something I still regret and struggle with. However, my personal experience aside, formula feeding is a valid choice to make whether parents decide to feed this way from birth or at a later stage.
I also remember watching an episode of dispatches a few years ago on how due to the cost of formula many families resort to watering down their baby's feed or even to stealing. This is a situation that is likely to have worsened as a result of the cost of living crisis.
So my question is, AIBU in thinking that it is wrong to penalise bottle-feeding parents when it comes to the cost of formula?

Totally disagree with anyone commenting we aren't being penalised, you can't use your points to pay for formula don't think there is anything else in the shop you cant not pay for by points.