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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents penalised for formula feeding

683 replies

thechristmaspudding · 14/08/2023 17:56

I just wanted to open up a discussion to find out the perspectives of other parents on this subject. I would also be interested to hear the opinions of midwives, health visitors and other health care professionals involved with families.
To give a bit of background information, I am a member of the Boots parenting club, which has many parents are likely to be aware gives you access to discounts and offers on baby related items in store. I went into my local boots today to buy my son's formula, hoping to get a good deal as I had been notified of an offer in store. Now, in my sleep deprived state I did not read the offer properly and it did clearly state that it was an offer for follow on formula and not infant first. The cashier was very polite and explained that due to government regulations shops are not legally allowed to offer discounts on infant first formula due to the government expectation that breastfeeding should be encouraged for the first six months. To be clear, I am not taking issue with Boots or any other shop, but it got me questioning whether this is fair? No, I do not believe that formula companies should be able to dissuade women from breastfeeding through aggressive marketing campaigns that encourage parents to buy their product. But surely parents have the right to weigh up the pros and cons of bottle feeding and make an informed choice that reflects the needs and circumstances of their own family? I tried really, really hard to breastfeed but found it extremely difficult and due to a lack of postnatal support gave up (the inadequate breastfeeding support in this country is another issue in itself). This is something I still regret and struggle with. However, my personal experience aside, formula feeding is a valid choice to make whether parents decide to feed this way from birth or at a later stage.
I also remember watching an episode of dispatches a few years ago on how due to the cost of formula many families resort to watering down their baby's feed or even to stealing. This is a situation that is likely to have worsened as a result of the cost of living crisis.
So my question is, AIBU in thinking that it is wrong to penalise bottle-feeding parents when it comes to the cost of formula?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:07

Tygertiger · 14/08/2023 19:05

Formula is freeze-dried, powdered cows’ milk with vegetable oil and added vitamins. That’s it, basically. There’s no magic ingredient that costs a fortune and means it needs to cost £10+ per tin. The majority of the price pays for the glossy packaging, the adverts (of toddler milk and stage 2, both purely invented to get round the advertising rules), the “helplines” staffed by “feeding experts”, the FB pages….and of course, hefty profit for the companies as well. The cost could be massively reduced by banning advertising and selling it in plain packaging for starters. Nobody would do it, because it’s marketed as a food rather than a lifesaving medical product. Formula companies have disgraceful marketing tactics and the rules around not allowing it to be part of 3 for 2 offers or to receive Clubcard points are actually to benefit parents and babies, not to penalise them.

I believe formula parents are paying handsomely for the marketing budget too - formula companies have one of the largest marketing budgets in the industry

Yellowlegobrick · 14/08/2023 19:08

It is the vast amount that formula companies spend on marketing formula globally that drives the cost of it.

The ingredients of formula in the UK is so regulated its near identical between different brands, with tiny differences in flavourings. As soon as any company identifies any new compound that has any measurable difference in quality/efficacy of formula, it gets added to the list of required ingredients and all manufacturers have to include it.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:08

I really don’t like ‘fed is best’. You don’t get cookies for not starving your child.

Dasisr · 14/08/2023 19:08

YANBU @thechristmaspudding ! My local supermarket has an offer thing - spend €50 get €10 off. Formula is excluded from this offer. What other items are excluded you might ask - cigarettes and alcohol. 🙄 formula is a valid and appropriate food for infants.

Simonjt · 14/08/2023 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:10

Dasisr · 14/08/2023 19:08

YANBU @thechristmaspudding ! My local supermarket has an offer thing - spend €50 get €10 off. Formula is excluded from this offer. What other items are excluded you might ask - cigarettes and alcohol. 🙄 formula is a valid and appropriate food for infants.

It’s not comparing it to alcohol and cigarettes- but some products, for very good reasons, are banned from advertising and promotion. Being part of an offer is a form of advertising and promotion.

If you want to blame anyone blame the formula companies and the disgraceful tactics they’ve deployed in the past that has led to the death of many, many babies. Research the lies they’ve told to flog their products. They only have themselves to blame that they are not allowed to advertise infant milk.

Folklore9074 · 14/08/2023 19:11

You are confusing being penalized with not being given a financial incentive.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

<Stares at comment>

Are you drunk? Or just a massive drama Queen?

Can you explain slowly to me how I have said I want babies to die?

AlltheFs · 14/08/2023 19:12

I couldn’t disagree more @thechristmaspudding

More needs to be done to and support encourage breastfeeding and stop the hold that formula has on society. There shouldn’t be branding or advertising on any formula whatsoever, let alone offers.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:12

AlltheFs · 14/08/2023 19:12

I couldn’t disagree more @thechristmaspudding

More needs to be done to and support encourage breastfeeding and stop the hold that formula has on society. There shouldn’t be branding or advertising on any formula whatsoever, let alone offers.

It baffles me that whilst formula feeding is the norm, people still argue it’s not the norm enough. Bizarre!

Yellowlegobrick · 14/08/2023 19:12

Foodbanks don't accept donations of formula because its too difficult to match up the brands people want with what they get donated.

They do provide formula. They use cash donations to buy it and provide whatever brand is needed.

DinnaeFashYersel · 14/08/2023 19:14

Give over. You are not being penalised. 😳

Yellowlegobrick · 14/08/2023 19:14

More needs to be done to and support encourage breastfeeding and stop the hold that formula has on society. There shouldn’t be branding or advertising on any formula whatsoever, let alone offers.

This.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:14

Yellowlegobrick · 14/08/2023 19:12

Foodbanks don't accept donations of formula because its too difficult to match up the brands people want with what they get donated.

They do provide formula. They use cash donations to buy it and provide whatever brand is needed.

Aaah fair enough.

I imagine the challenge with accepting donations is also ensuring the packaging hasn’t been tampered with.

Im pleased there’s support for struggling parents (but also very ‘WTF how has a developing country let people rely on food banks for formula’)

Simonjt · 14/08/2023 19:14

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:11

<Stares at comment>

Are you drunk? Or just a massive drama Queen?

Can you explain slowly to me how I have said I want babies to die?

Show quote history

You don’t think fed is best, so what is your solution for babies who cannot be breastfed, if feeding those babies isn’t the best option.

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:15

Simonjt · 14/08/2023 19:14

You don’t think fed is best, so what is your solution for babies who cannot be breastfed, if feeding those babies isn’t the best option.

Show quote history

I know Monday’s are usually boring but the melodramatics are really unnecessary and quite embarrassing.

Where did I say babies shouldn’t be fed? Be a dear and Screengrab it please

lifehappens12 · 14/08/2023 19:15

A few interesting remarks about follow on - I never bought follow on based on NHS advice at the breastfeeding class. The view given was that first stage milk is superior so why would you offer follow on at 6 months so keep on first stage until you are ready to move to cows milk at 1.

However you can get points, discounts etc on that milk?

TheGrimSqueakersFlea · 14/08/2023 19:15

@WeetabixTowels So exactly what should mothers who can't breastfeed do? I fed my child, I didn't ask for a fucking cookie. Formula feeding isn't a failure but attitudes like yours make it feel like one. Instead of judging maybe you could try understanding that breastfeeding isn't always possible, all the lectures and feeding advice in the world won't change that

GenieGenealogy · 14/08/2023 19:16

Follow on milk in that case should be banned as it’s the same as first stage (stage 1 is up to 12 m, follow on is 6-12m)

I completely agree. Promoting follow-on milk (and the even more ridiculous "growing up" milk) should be completely banned. But then the formula companies would come up with some other must-have product with their branding slapped all over it. And yes, the people who buy infant formula are contributing to this marketing effort, and paying for it.

What would be best and most economical for parents who choose to formula feed is coming up with a system of plain packaging. First stage formula in a green tin, follow-on in a pink. Or whatever. Standard labelling in the same font, stating the brand name and the information about ingredients and how to make it up with milk. That would lower the price for parents who wish to buy it too.

Yellowlegobrick · 14/08/2023 19:16

Offers and promotions are designed to hook people on to expensive brands, that they are then stuck buying at higher prices because they don't want to try and get their baby to take a different brand.

Simonjt · 14/08/2023 19:17

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:15

I know Monday’s are usually boring but the melodramatics are really unnecessary and quite embarrassing.

Where did I say babies shouldn’t be fed? Be a dear and Screengrab it please

Show quote history

Are you now claiming you didn’t write that you don’t like fed is best?

Rollonsept · 14/08/2023 19:17

FloweryName · 14/08/2023 18:34

This is not a new debate that you have opened up, parents have been complaining about it, wrongly, for years.

Can’t you see that if parents were rewarded with points that equate to free money because they are buying formula, it would actually be breastfeeding parents that were genuinely penalised?

You aren’t being penalised for your feeding choice because no one is being rewarded for their feeding choice.

There are some nasty undertones on here and it stinks. Why is it a race to the bottom. Its quite evident some are not impressed with FF option, I say option because that's what it is for some mothers I had multiple issues with DS as a baby. We were under the hospital and we had to have a special sort of milk. I was so exhausted and I actually think DS wasn't even getting my breast milk. When I gave him the bottle he was so content it was like magic. Its not always a "choice" you have no idea why OP has to use formula at all nor others for that matter.

No amount of repeating the same line is going to change that either. We have read how many posters are going to type the same bloody thing! Some of you need to get off your high 🐎

Hotcrossbunnowplease · 14/08/2023 19:17

I thought promotions were banned because it would encourage people to switch milks based on which is cheaper that week? Which is bad for baby

OddsocksinmyDocs · 14/08/2023 19:18

WeetabixTowels · 14/08/2023 19:08

I really don’t like ‘fed is best’. You don’t get cookies for not starving your child.

You also don't get cookies for starving your child either...

JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit · 14/08/2023 19:18

My life as a FF mother was (quite literally) depressing.

I BF my first 2, but was unable with my 3rd due to an issue with my breasts that was unrelated to pregnancy or breastfeeding. I was celebrated and included with my first 2. With my third, I was questioned, denigrated and disrespected. I stopped going to baby support groups to avoid conversations about my “choice”. I would try to ensure I didn’t leave the house around feeding times to avoid people seeing me using a bottle because the shame ate me alive.

Even on MN, I was subjected to snippy comments that made me feel terrible.

At the end of it, all 3 of my children are beautiful and healthy, regardless of their feeding type - something that you aren’t encouraged to admit freely (I was once told by another MN: “okay so you have 1 piece of anecdotal evidence to show there is no surface level harm caused by FF, what about all of the evidence collected by experts that says otherwise?”)

Things I found really crippling: the cost (your choice, suck it up); the sheer amount of sterilising (it’s overboard, a punishment); the attitudes from other mums; the worry about the colour of poop; the loneliness.

That’s it. Gird loins for a telling off now from all the “better” mums with the non toxics boobies.