Parents penalised for formula feeding

[thechristmaspudding]

I just wanted to open up a discussion to find out the perspectives of other parents on this subject. I would also be interested to hear the opinions of midwives, health visitors and other health care professionals involved with families.
To give a bit of background information, I am a member of the Boots parenting club, which has many parents are likely to be aware gives you access to discounts and offers on baby related items in store. I went into my local boots today to buy my son's formula, hoping to get a good deal as I had been notified of an offer in store. Now, in my sleep deprived state I did not read the offer properly and it did clearly state that it was an offer for follow on formula and not infant first. The cashier was very polite and explained that due to government regulations shops are not legally allowed to offer discounts on infant first formula due to the government expectation that breastfeeding should be encouraged for the first six months. To be clear, I am not taking issue with Boots or any other shop, but it got me questioning whether this is fair? No, I do not believe that formula companies should be able to dissuade women from breastfeeding through aggressive marketing campaigns that encourage parents to buy their product. But surely parents have the right to weigh up the pros and cons of bottle feeding and make an informed choice that reflects the needs and circumstances of their own family? I tried really, really hard to breastfeed but found it extremely difficult and due to a lack of postnatal support gave up (the inadequate breastfeeding support in this country is another issue in itself). This is something I still regret and struggle with. However, my personal experience aside, formula feeding is a valid choice to make whether parents decide to feed this way from birth or at a later stage.
I also remember watching an episode of dispatches a few years ago on how due to the cost of formula many families resort to watering down their baby's feed or even to stealing. This is a situation that is likely to have worsened as a result of the cost of living crisis.
So my question is, AIBU in thinking that it is wrong to penalise bottle-feeding parents when it comes to the cost of formula?

Unfortunately posters like that one confuse breastfeeding privilege with personal achievement. They don’t realise that they didn’t have the barriers others face, they just think they did, and therefore they are just better for overcoming them.

It’s that which breeds uncharitable approaches to those who feed their babies with formula.

Please read the update on my post. I still breast feed as much as I can but was instructed by a doctor in the hospital to supplement with formula when my baby was admitted with extreme dehydration.

Oh trust me I DID have barriers and issues and infections and pain and absolute hell.

What makes you think o give a shit how other women feed their babies though? When have I said women a lesser or undeserving if they formula feed?

Also feel that this always worth sharing whenever I see the phrases “breast is best” or “fed is best”.

Some of the comments on this thread make me worry about some babies with the amount of vitriol they must have ingested in their breast milk.

What on earth is "breastfeeding privilege"?

I know you’ve had a lot of replies but just to add my two pence - I struggled horrendously with breastfeeding DC1. It affected my mental health terribly and they ended up being formula fed from 3 months. When DC2 came along I was open to breastfeeding but same issues again and I wasn’t willing to risk another hungry baby and mentally ill mother so I formula fed pretty much from birth, this time with no guilt. I am in a fortunate position to be able to afford as much formula as I need and also paid to see a private lactation consultant first time around who talked to me candidly about my issues so I could make an informed choice. My heart breaks for mothers who cannot afford these things. I would happily donate formula if there was a way of doing so to mothers in need of it. I find it incredibly sad that there are those who are struggling so much they are stealing formula or watering it down. It should not be just those with the financial means who are able to make the right feeding decisions for themselves and their baby

Formula companies give women who have just given birth formula for free in developing countries. They use this free formula and then a couple of weeks in they have no choice other than to to buy it whatever the cost as they can no longer produce their own milk. The laws are probably to prevent large companies from giving deals that take advantage of mothers and babies. I don't think they are two penalise anybody.

…..erm. I’ve never met Grainne Evans, but if I did, I’d re-read this ‘poem’ and then proceed to vomit all over her. It would be deserved.

I can see both sides of the argument. However if you can't breast feed, rather than won't, the insinuation is that you didn't try hard enough and are copping out. Perhaps you're happy watching your baby throw up their meal before the milk is mixed with blood.

I wonder how much profit they're making on formula

Various remarks such as ‘I hate ‘fed is best’’, and talking about women demanding ‘cookies’ for feeding their child…

Your contempt is palpable.

To be fair, it's hardly any different for anyone bf as they don't get a discount either. It's always best to encourage something that may have health benefits, much like encouraging other healthy activities etc

No, but you pay in other ways such as having to eat your bodyweight to sustain yourself and baby as well as make dietary changes if needed - ie if baby is lactose intolerant.

I truly don't care if a baby is BF or FF, a fed baby is what matters the most. However, I do think that formula prices are beyond ridiculous. Not everyone can breastfeed and not all baby's take to one specific formula so then the parents she'll out again for other brands or variations. There should be something (god knows what or how) in place to ensure that everyone is able to get the essentials needed for baby without re-mortgaging their house to do so.

People who can do it, obviously.

When did I say ‘who are demanding cookies’. What’s wrong with saying I hate ‘fed is best’. It’s as nauseating and useless as ‘breast is best’.

Yep, nauseating AND misleading (fed is best).

Since when was being able to carry out a natural task a privilege?

Do I also have poo and wee privilege? Or eating privilege?

Breastfeeding privilege - what bollocks.

That is not fair. There are a LOT of woman who CANNOT breastfeed for numerous reasons and who either HAVE no choice or FEEL like they have no choice. I didn't want to stop breastfeeding but I had to, I had no choice.
Breastfeeding brought my best friend to her knees literally, she persevered and persevered until her PND got so bad she had no choice to give up and giving up was traumatising to her because of shitty comments like yours. There is a woman on this thread who could not breastfeed because of cancer, others because they were not making enough milk and their babies suffered. A LOT of them have been forced to give up breastfeeding because it has been detrimental for them or their babies in different ways. NONE of these women had a choice. I had NO choice. Had I come on here in the early days I would have honestly been pushed over the edge reading your comments.
You own it, own being a really smug, judgmental, pass remarkable know it all with an answer for everything.

Not you life, not your tits, not your babies and not your life. Butt out with your every woman makes the choice bullshit.

She died quite young.
She was very much affected by many traumas in her life, which I’m not going to detail here.
We all understood because we knew everything she’d been through. She wasn’t in the least bit self centred or dramatic.

Formula is way too expensive. My baby won't breastfeed, so i have to buy formula and honestly its a struggle!
So frustrating the constant breast is best, just makes me feel awful as a new mum.
Even have to click to acknowledge it when entering the website.
Formula should be discounted, its to keep babies alive!

What are you talking about? Yes it is

I agree with posters above who have stated you arnt being penalised. Also, those on a low income where I live have access to milk tokens to pay for formula.

In fairness to @WeetabixTowels, it did also strike me as quite a dramatic response - having to leave the room every single time your DIL breastfeeds seems like a very big reaction. Lots of women want to breastfeed but can't for various reasons - as this thread demonstrates - but wouldn't feel the need to instantly leave the room if another woman was breastfeeding. Especially 30 years or so later.

It's a bit sad if she's carried such huge trauma for her whole life - she's presumably raised her children and done a great job. Breastfeeding can feel like the be all and end all at the time when you're a new mum, but in the grand scheme of things it's just one tiny element. It is a huge shame if any mum carries that level of personal distress over it for such a long time.

Please point out where I was trying to ‘butt in’.

Why are you getting so upset? Very few women are physically unable to breastfeed, difficult does not mean impossible - therefore for the vast majority (yes even the women who were physically able to breastfeed but brought to their knees) it’s still a choice. Why does that upset you? It’s a perfectly valid and fine choice, much like breastfeeding is. Why would to make you feel better if you were lied to about being forced into it?

I really don’t give a crap how you or your mate fed your kids, I also don’t give a crap that you delude yourselves that your feeding choice wasn’t a choice. I’m just saying - own it. There’s nothing wrong with FF - YOU are the one making out there is?

There is no need to discount it though, if you are not breastfeeding then you need to formula feed, that is the option so you have to pay for it. Not having offers does mean that they can’t give it for free to pressurise mothers into using it.

Follow on milk is (according to UNICEF/WHO) unnecessary and contain more sugar and less nutrients than cows milk and the offers are designed to sucker you in to buying it