Any advice - move to a city for a new job -12 months in unsettled and feel unhappy

[Bekind1991]

Hi,

i am 32 single moved to Cambridge U.K. for a corporate job, been here 12 months. Lived in Manchester previously.

I am not enjoying the place. I can’t seem to settle, I don’t have friends and I feel I dont belong here. I have no real social life and just seem to pass the time with nothing to look forward to. I had a vibrant social life in Manchester but also I was in my
20s so I am conscious that I am looking back and I may just now be in another stage of my life.

i thought moving to a new place I would make friends through work and settle in but I feel miserable, and it has not been easy to make connections through work as most people are older than me, have families, work a couple of days in the office etc. I have done anything social with work collègues. I get my energy from people so I am finding it hard to even be motivated now, as my job is quite siloed but I like to make connections and a bit of fun.

I don’t know what to do, should I just leave and go somewhere else?.
Is it a Combination of a new place and the job not being a culture fit for me.

I think I am craving connection but my job is here and moving back to where my parents would be an hour and half commute, so I am trying to figure out the options and why I feel like this to try and make a plan moving forward without doing throwing anything away. My job is very well paid so scared to make the wrong decision and regretting it but also I feel I am not happy in this situation.

I am conscious about looking back in the past for example going back on Manchester and it not being the same or if it would actually be a better move for me because I am more aligned to a bigger city with more to do. Cambridge I feel does not offer me much to do, and I feel bored here.
Its so hard, not sure what I need to focus on changing so help the situation for me.

Does anyone have any advice or been in a similar situation?. Thank you for reading.

There's a lot going on there to unpick and it's probably hard to make you see what needs to change for you.

You can have periods in your life where work locates you somewhere that isn't a great fit...but the social life is good...or it isn't good and you put up with it because career wise you need to do it.

In your shoes I'd probably be cutting my losses and looking for a new job somewhere nearer home and friends.

I moved in my 20s and it was hard to make friends, there wasn't really anyone at work my age, I joined every club I could and did evening classes and eventually built up a network.

Not all of it was a fit for me but it got me out of the house, and one thing, tennis, brought me a really solid group of friends that I'm still friends with 20 years later.

If you are not really making a connection with people in work what options do you have for making friends outside of work?

Do you have any hobbies or interests that you could follow up with local groups?

Can you WFH in your job? An hour and a half isn't too long a commute, especially if you only needed to go in a few times a week. If you're that miserable you could move near your parents without leaving your job, if I've read that right