To wonder if I was happier without friends

[Thismorningissoboring]

I’ve always had friends throughout my life, I’m not hugely sociable, but had the set of girls from school, a few new friends in college and uni, friends from work and couples friends with Dh. We’ve always had those contacts with people, but I love staying in or going out just us and Dd.
I had a time before Dd was born around 6 years ago when I had a year off from work, plus my set of friends had all moved back to the U.K. (live overseas)
During that year of not having to go to work or no real social engagements (still kept in touch via sm etc and saw them all a couple of times during visits in the year) I was really happy, loved having no commitments whatsoever and just taking my dog for daily walks and having dinner with Dh and going out just us.
Fast forward to now and since having Dd, who is massively sociable 🤷🏻‍♀️😅 I have lots of mum friends, neighbours pop in and their kids come to play, lots of commitments it feels to meet up for play dates this summer and to be doing stuff when really I’d love to just have a few weeks of being at home or little trips out with Dh and Dd.
I love these friends and enjoy their company and know I’m so lucky to have them, but I sometimes feel like it’s just another thing on the ticklist of life that I need to do, which is awful I know.
Whats wrong with me?
I’ve wondered over the years if I’m possibly neurodivergent, could it be this?

I’ve had phases like this. I get it. Just dial it back a little when you need to… much better position to be in than those who struggle to make connections at all.

Is it that you’re not sure how to dial it back?

I 100% get it about the playdates. I've been lucky enough to have a few weeks off during my DD(7)s summer holiday and I just want to hang out with her! She's happy to see her buddies but she's also said she wants this week with me, to chill out and have a few little adventures. Last thing I want is to be making small talk and dealing with other kids, when I know there'll be plenty of that when school starts up again. Then when my DH has time off with my DD, he usually takes her to visit in-laws in another city, so whilst working from home, I get a peaceful house to myself and the last thing I want to do is book in time with friends if I'm honest. I just enjoy the peace and quiet. I guess it's about balance though. Also I'm a massive introvert 😅

ND didn't jump out at me from your post, no. Having a natural ability to make and retain friendships without really trying wouldn't suggest ND. It's totally normal to want some time to yourself, or just to do things with your family. This is like those people that loved lockdown because they didn't have to overstretch themselves going to clubs and meeting up with people all the time - just say no?!

@UpSheWent Yes, I know that i’m
quite rubbish as it is and often meet a lot of meet ups, when everyone else seems really keen and all meet up. I want to keep the connections going and make effort, but really I sometimes meet up, enjoy it and think ‘That was great’ and expect a few weeks on my own again and then they’ll be something else
Why am I so miserable 🙈As a teen I couldn’t stay in and craved friendship and fun

*Miss a lot of meet ups

@TastelessMiserySand Yes, that’s it too! Dd will be back at school soon and I just want to completely relax with her

Is it not possible to wind things down from now on and inform people you are taking some necessary family time.

Although I personally would just say I’m not available on that date and that I will instead be available during term time, as you have a few things to take care of at home (mainly yourself and your little family).

Are you feeling overwhelmed?

You just sound like me OP. An introvert. You enjoy socialising within boundaries but need plenty of down time/alone time to balance it out and re energise.

I think you're just an introvert. I'm the same.
I enjoy being with people but find it exhausting and sometimes it can feel like a chore.