To feel excluded at work

[KeepSmiling89]

Hi
I work in 2 different bases - one base on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, the other Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Today, I'm working with 3 other colleagues...but I might as well be working by myself. We are all very sociable - have chats re. work and personal lives etc. All morning, my 3 colleagues have been having conversations about things I could be involved in, but have totally ignored me. I've been spoken to maybe 4 times in total today - twice to say hi, one to say if I'd be up for a training refresher and once to be given a new copy of the clinic room rota to go on the pinboard in my clinic room. One colleague hasn't even said hi to me.

I feel like I'm back in school - the cool kids hanging out together socialising and me just being the outcast and not being involved in conversations. I have popped my head in the door in the past when I've been aware that it's a conversation I can chip in on, but this morning, they were all in a clinic room with the door closed talking about something that involves everyone in our team - I could overhear everything from my room, which is right next door to them).

I probably am being unreasonable, but this happens so frequently and, quite frankly, I'm p**d off at feeling excluded. I would pop my head in the door to join in, but I feel awkward doing that as I feel there's a reason I'm not being included in any of these conversations.

In contrast - the other place I'm based, I work with one other person so there's no feeling of being left out or anything and I can actually have an enjoyable day with my colleague.

I had this previously when I stayed in student accommodation with 4 other girls - 3 of them would often hang out in the kitchen together or go out together without inviting me or letting me be involved. My 4th flatmate was usually with her boyfriend. I just felt like such a loner.

Yet again feeling like there's something wrong with me that people don't want to include me in anything. Maybe I am being unreasonable but it's really deflating!

They’re in a different office?

How long have you worked there?

In the nicest way possible OP, if they are in another room or office then YABU. Are you very sensitive to rejection? There's a thing called RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) where people perceive rejection where it's not actually intended.

We're in the same base but different rooms right beside each other.
I've been working in this team for 2 years,working in this bass specifically for 1 year.
Also...on Friday, I had to nip out to the bank quickly at lunch time...the 2 girls I was working with said they would wait till I was back so we could eat lunch together. When I got back, they were gone. Turns out they'd gone to McDonald's...they brought it back to bass to eat it and said they didn't know if I wanted anything...THEY DIDN'T BLOODY ASK ME!!! Not even a call or text while I was at the bank.

@Wozzzzzaa they're in the room right beside me though...we work in clinic rooms where we see patients but also gather together for discussion and lunch etc.

That probably sounds about right though. Will look into it.

People are like this, though. Do you want to be included in the conversations? If so, you need to put some effort into making people aware by putting yourself out there and participating. They might think you're a quiet person who keeps themselves to themselves, maybe? I feel like at work people aren't really your friends tbh, and to be noticed you do have to be ballsy and speak up etc.
That said, not saying hi is super rude :/

3 of them in one office

you alone in next door office?

I think you could be being over sensitive. The small department that I work in has three desks in office and four desks in another. I am quite sure that the people in the other office sometimes chat amongst themselves and that is fine. I would just suggest that you continue to be friendly and sometimes pop your head in to chat.

@Krystall I usually do just pop my head in the door or wherever there is a conversation happening, but this morning, the door was actually closed (I could hear everything they were saying and it was relevant to me as well - i.e. not just something I'm wanting to stick my nose into) but I could hear everything they were saying. Knocking on the door and saying "I heard you through the wall talking about subject..." is a bit weird compared to overhearing a conversation in the corridor or in a room with the door wide open and saying "Oh, are you talking about subject?"

I would just open the door and say any one want a cup of tea? Or something like that then you can bring them in and just hang out and chat for a bit. If you are 2 separate offices it might not be deliberate?

If you work in a different room then it would seem normal that you are not involved in the chat.