Quantity over quality.

[Jamjarcandlestick]

AIBU to find it almost rude that zero thought goes into MIL ‘gifts’. I know she’s not the only person who does this as I had a grandparent who was similar whereby it’s about the quantity over quality.

I’m not getting my knickers in a twist as it’s not done with malice but why get unnecessary gifts with such little thought.

I’m due in September and MIL has gone crazy with buying baby clothes. I’m not a snob and do love a bargain but the majority of the clothes are from the spring sale and sized from newborn to six months. Maybe I could put really long socks on the baby with her lemon shorts at Xmas? I’ve bought bargains for next spring/summer but these will be all out grown by then.

She’ll always peel the reduced stickers off but always leaves the full price on the tag.

We’re not Disney people but recently given matching Walle mugs. I don’t drink coffee but given coffee liqueur as a holiday gift.

I know MIL loves to shop and must get a thrill from finding a bargain but it’s the little show she puts on when she gifts us these things ‘I thought these nice big mugs would be good for you to put your hot drinks in’ not ‘these were 70% off and for that price I couldn’t leave them on the shelf… if you guys don’t want them I think your Auntie Shelia likes animations’.

Do we have the same mother in law?? It's annoying but just live with it as it's coming from a place of kindness. I just give things as gifts at various baby showers, regift what I can and I'm going to start selling things on vinted. I've given a lot back to her for other children in the family as well, there's so much of it. It annoyed me so much with my first baby as I wanted to choose things and felt it wasteful to do it.

Now I've got used to it a bit more I just tell her what I like in casual conversation and she goes and buys it. It made me really uncomfortable at first as I'm not a very grabby person but she just won't stop buying things and she's so happy when it's the right thing that it's done wonders for our relationship.

You have different attitudes to gifts but it’s not worth falling out over. Tell her that, with a new baby in the way, you’re trying to clear out some space in the house and as much as you’re touched that she enjoys buying you all gifts so much, you’d prefer it if she saved her money instead and maybe took you all out for some time and activities together whilst you’re on maternity leave. I don’t think it’s uncommon, especially among older people who grew up with relatively little in the way of material possessions, to equate the quantity of gifts with showing love or to want to share their excitement at finding a bargain with those they love (even if they don’t want you to know it was a bargain.)

We have had the conversation about her saving her money/not needing anything. DH is a lot more brutal than me - he leaves his gifts in the car then drops them straight off at the charity shop. He has been busted for selling things on EBay too. Whenever she gifts him anything it’s always followed with ‘don’t you dare give this away!’

Maybe I find it slightly more rude that she takes the reduced stickers off but leaves on the original price.