To be offended that my mum asked me to delete her card details?

[quinnoah]

I had a few missed phone calls from my mum, who is 82. She called to see how I was, but the second question was “You remember you have all my card details written down, can you delete them right now please?”. I have never had her card details, nor would I be daft enough to write them down! I work in finance, so I’m probably a bit more cautious than most.

I explained I had no idea what she was talking about, but don’t worry I wouldn’t have written it down anyway. She was adamant I had them.

All I could think about was when I needed her pin to buy something with her card as she couldn’t walk up the stairs in the shop. I have no idea what that was now as I kept it in my
short term memory when I went to pay.

But she was adamant and quite arsey that I had to delete them, because apparently my dad had told her off for “giving me the details”. Even if I ever did have them, I wouldn’t write them down, nor would I ever do anything with their card without their request/permission?

I'd imagine that your mum or dad has been watching some of the programmes on the telly where they see how easy it is for an online scam to happen, one of them remembered a time where you had been provided either with the long digit number to say order theatre tickets or given the PIN to do an in person shop purchase (as you say because they couldn't use the stairs to get to the relevant department).

All you have to say is "Ok mum. I've deleted that information now from my settings" and move on. At 82 she's probably not as up to speed on all things techy.

My parents are late seventies and do this kind of stuff all the time. I smile and agree whilst rolling my eyes inside a bit. Why on earth get so upset about it?

Scam? Has someone sent a text or phoned her pretending to be you and got her card details?

I too would say check in on her for a scam - she could be trying to stop something or have a concern.

She's probably been told, or read,, that if she's a victim of card-cloning or bank fraud, the bank won't cover the loss if she gave her card details or PIN to someone else at any point (even if that person clearly didn't take the money). One of the things people are always warned about is giving out details to other people, even trust ones. I don't think your mum's implying that you are likely to steal from her - she's probably just confused about that time she gave you her PIN or something.

A few years ago my debit card was cloned and thieves emptied my account by making cashpoint withdrawals, and throughout the process of sorting that out with the bank, they asked me about 12 times if I'd written my card details down anywhere, given them to family or friends etc. A couple of times they phrased it as 'Who have you given your PIN to?' rather than 'Have you given your PIN to anyone?' in an attempt to catch me out somehow.

My mum always texts me this stuff after she has read something in the Metro paper or her sister has sent her a panicky message on WhatsApp. My mum has not got much going on on her life so fills is with this stuff. I shrug and accept it.

I suspect she’s sent them to a scam message as she’s adamant you have the details.

I agree with others. Maybe say you have deleted them, but if you can find out what is behind it maybe getting her cards cancelled and reissued would be the way to go?

Is there a chance she has been scammed? Someone sending one of those messages pretending to be her daughter, about being broken down somewhere and needing some cash quick to get a tow or a taxi. That and the possibility she may be starting to have some memory issues would be my first concerns,so might be worth discussing with your dad to see if he has noticed any small signs she’s not quite right. As others say, it might be an early indicator of something medical.

Why would it be a UTI? Genuine question.

They can cause very serious confusion.

But this thread is months old

Ah so it is!
It must have come up on one of those similar thread things, and I’ve just clicked on it.

Thank you.