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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Old friend not replying to my message

33 replies

Sandals94 · 13/08/2023 22:43

I have a friend who I met up with a few times recently after not seeing each other for years (since our 20s now 40s) We got along great like no time had passed and it was so good to see her. She was very excited to get together. We only really lost touch as she worked overseas then came back to England but lived miles away. She now lives close by.

I've messaged asking if she fancies a lunch or whatever and she didn't respond.

Fast forward 2 months I send another message, pretty casual 'hey, how are things, new job etc'. She's read it but no reply 3 days later.

Makes me feel a bit crappy tbh. I guess anything could be going on in her life, but we used to be so close. Obviously I won't message again as would appear slightly tragic - but seems a bit odd. Anyone else get ghosted by a friend and wonder why people do this?

OP posts:

WunWun · 15/08/2023 20:10

But it's obviously still hurtful that she's ignoring you 😔 I think you'll just have to accept that it's done and try to forget about it sadly x

GiddyUpH · 15/08/2023 20:12

Could she be on holiday and not answering WhatsApp?

MrsDBaddiel · 15/08/2023 20:23

My alleged friend is doing this to me now and I’ve no idea why. I’ve stopped messaging her and I’ve deleted our chats so I don’t have a constant reminder of being ghosted or feel the urge to over analyse what I’ve said/message her again.

It’s sore and very disappointing. I was very hurt at first but I’ve progressed to not giving a shit. Thankfully I have plenty of other wonderful people in my life.

You’ll be absolutely fine OP, it takes time to adjust your feelings but you’ll be okay.

GreenShadow · 15/08/2023 20:28

Sorry, but why don't you try calling?
My worry would be that the friend could be ill or even died. I would want to know.

Original poster

Sandals94 · 15/08/2023 23:08

WunWun · 15/08/2023 20:08

No, you absolutely don't see a picture if you're blocked on WhatsApp.

But it states this when I checked?

OP posts:

MintyBinty · 16/08/2023 15:17

Sorry OP - I think that original meet up was a way for your friend to have a snoop on your life and get all the gossip about what you’ve been doing. I don’t think she was interested in restarting the friendship at all, she just wanted to know what you’ve been up to.

Try not to take it personally, if anything it should show you that she isn’t worthy of your friendship if that’s how she treats people. Make room in your life for genuine friends instead.

ManateeFair · 16/08/2023 17:25

A single grey tick does not necessarily mean that you've been blocked.

A single grey tick means the message was sent from your phone, but hasn't been delivered at the other end. That might be because you've been blocked but it most often means that:

Their phone's switched off or the battery's run down.
They're somewhere with no phone signal.
They've deleted WhatsApp from their phone, either deliberately or accidentally.

ManateeFair · 16/08/2023 17:27

bluepaint234 · 15/08/2023 18:19

Anyone ever wished a friend/acquaintence from the past a happy birthday or a merry Christmas and been ghosted/ignored?

Probably. Wouldn't be a big deal to me.

Were you the person who posted about your adult son being upset that his old school friends weren't in touch a lot with him any more and a girl he used to be at school with didn't want to be friends with him at university? Because if so, your son's situation was very different from the OP's and you were very over-invested in it.

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