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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go off sick at 30 weeks?

27 replies

Sophiedrop95 · 13/08/2023 19:38

Currently 30 weeks pregnant and have been off sick for a week. I have a GP appointment tomorrow to look at getting signed off. I've had a high risk pregnancy from the start due to pre existing conditions and since then have been diagnosed with PGP and gestational diabetes. I'm just finding the whole thing very painful, stressful and I'm exhausted all the time. Am I being unreasonable to ask to be off until commencing mat leave at 36 weeks?

OP posts:
OneMoreCookieMonster · 13/08/2023 19:40

Your employer can trigger your mat leave from 11wks prior to your fue date if you have pregnancy related illness. Check your hand book for clarification

Doggymummar · 13/08/2023 19:41

You'll have less time after if you intent to return

Original poster
Sophiedrop95 · 13/08/2023 19:50

As far as I'm aware they can't trigger it until 36 weeks as long as I'm off with a pregnancy related illness?

OP posts:
Jojobees · 13/08/2023 19:54

It’s not unreasonable at all. If you are unfit for work then that’s that. They can trigger Mat leave starting the Monday 4 weeks before your edd so could work out earlier or a bit later depending.
Hope all goes well.

Twiglets1 · 13/08/2023 19:55

Doggymummar · 13/08/2023 19:41

You'll have less time after if you intent to return

Not if @Sophiedrop95 has a doctors note to say she is off sick.

I don't think you are being unreasonable @Sophiedrop95 to take time off sick seeing as you are really feeling unwell. I would have anxiety too in your position as it sounds like a stressful pregnancy. Hope you can get signed off work tomorrow and be able to rest more.

WomanAtWork · 13/08/2023 19:56

You poor thing. It’s admirable to try and keep going but honestly I think you’ll feel better if you can reduce/stop work.

Lapland123 · 13/08/2023 19:56

I had to do this for two pregnancies. And I didn’t have GD. I just couldn’t hack it anymore.

Take it easy and look after yourself

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/08/2023 19:57

OneMoreCookieMonster · 13/08/2023 19:40

Your employer can trigger your mat leave from 11wks prior to your fue date if you have pregnancy related illness. Check your hand book for clarification

It's 4 weeks.

shivawn · 13/08/2023 20:00

Definitely not unreasonable. Don't feel bad for taking care of yourself and your baby.

I'm 27 weeks pregnant now and I'll probably go out sick around 32 weeks. I'm not going to go in heavily pregnant and be a burden to everyone just for the sake of struggling on, at least if I'm out sick they'll have someone to cover me.

AllyCart · 13/08/2023 20:05

I'm 27 weeks pregnant now and I'll probably go out sick around 32 weeks.

Nice.

RoseMarigoldViolet · 13/08/2023 20:13

Won’t it mean less time with your baby? Your maternity leave will be triggered early.
I think people try to work as long as possible to have more time off with their baby.

Kinneddar · 13/08/2023 20:14

I'm 27 weeks pregnant now and I'll probably go out sick around 32 weeks

Wow good attitude there. If you're not fit to work start your maternity leave instead of screwing over your colleagues

Tracker1234 · 13/08/2023 20:46

Go out sick at 32 weeks?. This is exactly why some companies are nervous to employ women. If you are sick you are sick but if you are planning to go off at 32 weeks because you cannot be bothered how nice for your colleagues who will all most always have to cover your work.

Still as long as you are Ok. Isn’t that all that matters….

Hufflepods · 13/08/2023 20:51

Kinneddar · 13/08/2023 20:14

I'm 27 weeks pregnant now and I'll probably go out sick around 32 weeks

Wow good attitude there. If you're not fit to work start your maternity leave instead of screwing over your colleagues

If she’s not fit to work why wouldn’t she take sick leave though? Maternity leave is not for when you are still pregnant and unable to work.

Ineedaholidaynowplease · 13/08/2023 20:53

If you have a medical certificate, you don't need to ask to be off , your employer will just have to suck it up.
Maternity leave can be triggered early due to sickness but sounds like you know this already as it's 4 weeks early rather than 11 posted by a pp.

Don't struggle on just because you feel you need to. Much better to focus on your health and that of your baby.

Kinneddar · 13/08/2023 20:58

Hufflepods · 13/08/2023 20:51

If she’s not fit to work why wouldn’t she take sick leave though? Maternity leave is not for when you are still pregnant and unable to work.

Show quote history

If she's sick that's different but she's planning ahead to go sick because she'll be heavily pregnant. That's not being sick

Merryoldgoat · 13/08/2023 21:10

I had severe PGP with my first and was signed off but wasn’t ready to stop working (it was 30 weeks) and agreed reduced hours with work - I had Wednesdays off and the day off midweek made a massive difference.

I would try that if you feel you’re just fatigued. But if you’re sick then get signed off.

headinabook · 13/08/2023 21:13

I once was in your shoes. And my biggest regret to this day, is that I was so worried about what people at work would think of me that I didn’t put my baby and my health first. I’m sure your GP won’t think twice about signing you off sick until your mat leave if you’re feeling too ill/exhausted to work. Listen to your body.

OCDmama · 13/08/2023 22:02

Tracker1234 · 13/08/2023 20:46

Go out sick at 32 weeks?. This is exactly why some companies are nervous to employ women. If you are sick you are sick but if you are planning to go off at 32 weeks because you cannot be bothered how nice for your colleagues who will all most always have to cover your work.

Still as long as you are Ok. Isn’t that all that matters….

She means she will struggle on to 32 weeks. She's not planning on just sitting around FFS.

Manage your internalised fucking misogyny.

OP, get signed off. If you're not well you're not well. It's the best for you and baby, and really your work too if you end up having to go off suddenly with no handover.

I had HG through my pregnancies and tried to struggle through despite hospitalisations. I really should have just taken some substantial time off sick.

Ignore the haters. People treat pregnant women with illnesses like they don't deserve sympathy or sick pay because of some 'you bought this on yourself'. It's fucked up and needs to end. Pregnancy is a fact and requirement of ongoing life.

Congratulations OP. Take care xx

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 13/08/2023 22:07

I did.

Like you I was having a high risk pregnancy (although mine was ID twins) and I was exhausted, beyond belief. I kept on fainting and had been hospitalised twice by then as well.

Don't regret it for a second. My babies were born at 36 weeks and I went back to work when they were 8 months.

Honestly I needed that time. There's no point grinding yourself into the ground.

Hufflepods · 13/08/2023 22:11

Kinneddar · 13/08/2023 20:58

If she's sick that's different but she's planning ahead to go sick because she'll be heavily pregnant. That's not being sick

Show quote history

If someone is struggling with pain and exhaustion it’s not unlikely they will feel worse in a few weeks time and will therefore find it difficult to work.
If a woman is struggling already at 27 weeks she doesn’t need to be a psychic to come to there conclusion that she will feel worse the closer she gets to her due date.

ChoresSuck · 13/08/2023 22:28

OP what have you done about your PGP? I had this both pregnancies and a pelvic belt it worked wonders.

shivawn · 15/08/2023 13:01

Kinneddar · 13/08/2023 20:14

I'm 27 weeks pregnant now and I'll probably go out sick around 32 weeks

Wow good attitude there. If you're not fit to work start your maternity leave instead of screwing over your colleagues

I'm not screwing over my colleagues at all, I have a physical job and it's completely expected to go out early in my profession. My manager has already asked me to give her some indication of when I plan to go out sick. :)

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/08/2023 13:05

shivawn · 15/08/2023 13:01

I'm not screwing over my colleagues at all, I have a physical job and it's completely expected to go out early in my profession. My manager has already asked me to give her some indication of when I plan to go out sick. :)

Show quote history

If the work cannot be done while heavily pregnant, and the employer cannot give you any less physical work, as a risk assessment would evidence, then you would be paid full salary and asked not to come into work. Not sick leave, no sick note required, no sickness recorded.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 15/08/2023 13:07

I wish I'd stopped work sooner - I was horrendously sick up to about 22 weeks, lost a lot of weight, then the rest of my pregnancy I had a huge workload as we were re-branding and it was incredibly stressful. Ended up with pre-eclampsia and being induced.