To feel that my life is never going to be as happy as it was now my kids are growing up…

[Whatnextformoi]

Just that really… I loved my kids being around me and I loved being their Mum. Now they’re off with boyfriend and girlfriend or off at uni. In and out of the house only really using me as a bank/cleaner/laundry maid. Generally grumpy and not really wanting to spend time with me unless there’s something in it for them. I have one soon to be teen and I feel sad that in a couple of years he’ll be gone too.

On the other hand I want them to have happy fulfilling lives but lately it’s making me cry and feel really down…..

But what did you do before you had children? Presumably you had a life, job, hobbies, interests that you enjoyed?

And please don't pressure your children for grandchildren. They're only just getting their adult lives started, they don't need to be having children for a long time yet.

Give them roots, then give them wings.

It sounds awful but I can’t wait until my DD is grown up and independent.
I can’t wait to have more of a life for myself and not have to worry as much.

It may be because I had her very young and so my whole adult life I’ve had responsibilities and so I’m looking forward to not having as many.

Thanks everyone for your perspective.

I don’t think I was happy before I had the kids that’s the problem.

I empathise op, and have similar feelings, even though my dc are still Primary age. I think I find giving them roots much easier than giving them wings bit. I do think parenting involves a sense of loss as children grow away from you.

Maybe as your youngest gets older you will find more time to invest in things and people that you enjoy, and your horizons might broaden and seem more appealing. You're not alone though.

My youngest is 12, and is spending more time in her room/with friends. She is the youngest of 3 and I must admit, I am finding it quite strange, but also nice in a way. For the last 25 yrs, I’ve had at least one child that needs my attention, and now I can spend more time doing what I want.
I don’t miss having little kids. Happy to move on now.

Focus on positives. Not sure why you’re being cleaner, bank etc. get yourself out there, some hobbies, socialising, travelling - enjoy the freedom.

I'm excited for the next stage. My DS is 15, going into Year 11. Will be off to uni in 3 years. By that time I will have spent more than half my life raising him.

I'm so much more than just a mum and looking forward to a time where I can do hobbies, go on solo holidays, out whenever I want, etc.

Mine have all gone to university, travelled etc but are regularly back. Right now this weekend they are all here. They are great company as adults and l love having them here. But when they head off again l am very happy to have a quiet house where l can do my own thing. I meet friends, play some sport, read my books and generally potter with dh and you know it's all fine. Try not to look too far ahead but enjoy each stage as it comes.

Well you were happy when you had the children & they will always be your children. Not in the same way but with any luck in a different way . DS & I chat away and laugh like drains about things. Do I miss the baby / toddler etc phases - sometimes , but we have lovely times together and I would not miss this time for worlds. @Whatnextformoi Lovely to see what he is doing & yes I get more time to myself but I love it when he , or he and his friends come to visit. Please don't worry too much - things move on & you don't always know how good the next thing will be until you experience it. 😊💐

I’ll read these all again when I’ve hopefully had a good nights sleep and I’m not so emotional. Thanks everyone.

I understand op, l thought l was happy until l had DCS and really understood the meaning of Joy!
Now l feel so sad as my DD is off in September ....
I have a very full life but nothing makes me feel as happy as spending time with my Dcs...

What a lovely way of looking at things. 6 DC instead of 3. :)