There's very little for older kids to do in the holidays

[LonelyFlans]

There's lots for younger kids to do in the holidays, but most stuff (organised holiday clubs and other stuff I've seen advertised) seems to stop once they get to secondary school age.

We're based in NW England, so not sure if it's just around here or everywhere.

At this age they're not very self-motivated (at least not the ones I know).

AIBU to think that there should be more organised stuff for older kids to do?

Where I live (Aus) there is plenty of organised holiday activities for High School kids but it’s pretty much all sport based, very few options for the non-sporty, and expensive! When mine were teens there was lots of taking turns hanging out at friends’ houses but it’s a bit more appealing when most people have swimming pools, not really a NW England thing.

I think a lot of kids prefer to do their own thing when they get older. They’re more independent then and can decide for themselves. When you say they’re “not very self-motivated” maybe you’re looking at it the wrong way. Not every moment of every day has to be productive and improving. They spend all day every day during term time having their time managed to the minute at school and then they go home and do set homework in the evening. So maybe during the holidays it’s pretty natural that they want to loaf around and let a long day of doing nothing stretch out in front of them, or simply decide for themselves what to do and when.

Organised clubs and activities would have been my worst nightmare during the summer holidays when I was a kid!

Yabu.
Do you mean like kids clubs? Surely there wouldn't be any demand for it, as secondary age kids don't need childcare. Mine (12 & 14) mostly just go out with their friends and then they each belong to various sports clubs which occurs most days. On holidays I just hired a surf board/paddle board/kayak and they do that.

It depends what you mean by older. 13? 14? The thing is by that age, they can have fairly strong views of their own on what they want to do. I couldn't afford an overseas holiday this year and anyway ds isn't keen on extreme heat so instead to fend off boredom....

my ds has been on day each paddleboarding & canoeing.
Two days camping, at which they had to cook/feed themselves in teams of two.
He's spent a half day learning metalwork with a blacksmith.
He's had four one-on-one swimming sessions learning to tumble turn.
He's been blackberry picking with me and I've taught him how to make bramble jelly.

I bought a book on rural circular cycle rides and we've done four of those, with picnics.
We've been to see the Mappa Mundi and the chained library in Hereford, and the museum of cider making.
Spent one day in London

Alternating with days with one of his mates when they game and browse YouTube together, or mooch around the local countryside.

Things don't have to cost a lot. Check out local art galleries, sports clubs, theatres and conservation groups. There are lots of free performances and taster days. The last week of the holidays, ds is doing a free half day course on bike servicing run by the local bike club.

I'm also in the NW and I've found the same. I work full time and am really struggling to keep my 11 year old entertained. There's one very expensive holiday club open during work hours but it's crap and more geared towards younger children. The children who attend are nearly always much younger than my child.

I think 11 to maybe 13/14 is a bit of an awkward age. They'd benefit from having something to do so they're not just staring at screens all day. I think maybe a 2-3 hours per day dance/cookery class would be great. Perhaps a different thing each day. Something that they could take themselves to and from.

Right now, there's nothing my child could actually attend. I work normal office hours so I'm not able to drop her off and pick her up from swimming which is the only thing nearby. She's a bit too young to be travelling across the city on her own to go to things further out.

I feel so guilty that she's having a crap summer. I took her away one week but that still leaves the remaining 5 weeks where she's bored and staring at her phone/laptop all day everyday. I try to use annual leave as much as I realistically can but it's not enough because of course I have to save the rest for Christmas and Easter holidays as well as the million other holidays. It doesn't help that I'm a single parent and it's all on me, no family support other than her going to her dad's every other weekend (which is a big help).

That all sounds amazing! I'm hoping that by the time my child gets to your son's age, it will be much easier and she can do some of those things.

There's a paddle boarding/canoeing class that I've seen but at 11, she's too young to get on 2 buses alone to attend it.

I suppose in our case, it's more complicated. We've moved to a new area so she doesn't have any friends nearby yet. Hopefully it will get easier if she can make some friends locally, they could hang out together.

When I say self motivated, I mean that he has no interest in getting out and doing something. He's sitting at home saying he's bored and really needs some form of organised activity or place where he is motivated to go and do something.

I ask him what he'd like to do and he tells me he doesn't know.

There are museums and art galleries that we've been to, but any activities are largely geared at younger children - and the main museum/gallery doesn't change much so we've seen a lot of it before, so it's not very new and interesting.

We've booked a week doing sport, but he's at the top of the age range for that, so I'm not sure how that will go.

All his friends are away on holiday/busy, so he only sees them occasionally.

He's usually really busy during the week in term time, but the usual activities have stopped for 6 weeks and there's no (affordable) related activities he can do instead.

I wish there were activities like paddle boarding/blacksmith experiences etc here, but I don't seem to be able to find them if there are.

Performing arts theirs loads of national programs, my DD used to go off to BYMT for two to three weeks rehearsing and then performing a show with people from all over the UK. She has also been in local productions. Then she got a job when she turned 16 and worked most of the time.

Loads here!! Have you looked at your local fee paying schools they often have them - often run by outside organisations (I.e not the school) and open to all. Ours here are run by Kings Clubs.

My friend is near Stockport and I think here have been doing some water sports things at Bramhall water park??

We found there was some stuff when looked for it (when our son was 11-14 type age) but the thing was he wasn't keen on the idea of a lot of it and would rather mooch at home on his gadgets or hang out in the local skate park. Organised activities suddenly lost appeal.

I think there's loads going on in the summer for teenagers (sports/ drama/ dance/music etc) but you have to have already got them into those things at an earlier age. The stuff aimed at teenagers is not for beginners.

My DS is sailing 3 out of 6 weeks of my holiday (he has longer) and he could have done more. It's all stuff for kids who are already competitive sailors though.

I think the key thing is not to feel guilty. I organised all this stuff because I felt bad that I couldn't take him abroad or to places like Thorpe Park. But they don't need to be entertained. If you let them get bored. they'll work out something to do for themselves

DS prefers the cool, and there's so much of the UK that we haven't seen. He's a hands-on sort so I searched out any taster days I could find locally and were under £35.

Now I've decided as long as he gets some fresh air every day, and isn't actually moaning, that means we're doing OK.

It's a difficult age, and the things they do want to do out the house are often expensive, there's only so many times you can go bowling, to the cinema or the arcade and all are pricy. Coffees out, lunch out even somewhere cheap like McDonald's adds up fast. They need a lot of input and support still to be sociable, but get bored and miserable stuck in watching Netflix or gaming. The play park and a lot of the cheap or free actives are aimed at younger kids, and if they don't have a particular passion for a sport of performing arts it's a lot of time really. I'm not sure having such a long time off school is a good thing, they get into bad habits in the summer that are hard to break when term comes round again. A lot of them seem to just hang about, vaping and watching Tiktok in little gangs if they do go out.

I think you've summed it up perfectly!

I wonder whether the result of having ones life filled with organised activity at primary school age is that you’re unable to occupy yourself at secondary school
age?

Not sure whereabouts you are in the North West but we have stuff like archery and axe throwing run by Wolfpack activities in the local parks (Bolton) might be worth a look?
One of mine (15) is into art so I've let her paint a wall of her room, she's doing a mural that's keeping her busy.
It is hard to find stuff that's not xbox though, I agree. DS (13) is a musician so we've hired a studio a few times for extra practice, not as expensive as you'd think.
Their scouts is still running over summer and they've done a few days/evenings with them.

Yes. I should have left dd home alone when I was out at work when she was younger. That would have sorted it

I know what you mean, DS is 12 and it's been a bit of an odd holiday. We used to spend loads of time at various parks and play areas, soft play, kids clubs etc etc but he's too old for all of that now.

He will go out with friends a bit, but just to 'hang around' really so there has been A LOT of screen time. He's not said he's bored, or been unhappy but it's seemed a bit of a boring holiday to me! Fortunately we've been on a few nice trips out (Premier League preseason matches, swimming, cinema etc) and are just about to go to Spain for 10 days, so hopefully it'll turn out ok!

Don't be silly, you know that isn't what I was suggesting.

Even necessary things can have consequences.

Nobody organised ANY activities for us at that age, and we still loved the summer holidays. Read books, see friends, sunbathe in the garden, get the bus into town, ride bikes, kick a football etc etc. Sounds like the problem is that too many kids have been micro-managed. If you let them get bored, they will soon work it out! Or give them some chores to do 😂

You are an amazing mum!

I am lucky that we didn’t have a car for about 10 years, so DC are familiar with buses and are quite capable of managing public transport themselves. I suggest you get your child au fait with this asap so she can get about while you are working. Or you need local friends to team up with. There will be things to do, but your issue is she can’t access them without you.

Indeed - there was absolutely nothing organised for us to do when I was a teenager. I played football with a mixed group - we organised ourselves and played on the rec - for the whole summer when I was 10-13.

Age 14 onwards I joined the local tennis club and we had the courts to ourselves all day on weekdays in the summer and in the evenings and at weekends, the adults would let us make up mixed doubles with them - or we just hung around and socialised.

There's a good reason that TV programme "Why don't you..." was invented!

DS used to go to the park on his bike and to the swimming poo with his friends

Swimming pool that is😂