Drowning in mess

[depressionpitofdoom]

I am really struggling with life at the moment, I am juggling work, childcare, studying, depression and housework and dropping the ball on each and every one at the moment. I don't know where to start, my home is a disaster - I have mountains of rubbish that need to go to a dump and no way to get there, there's a mountain of laundry and dishes to clean and just mess everywhere, I am trying to get my coursework done by the deadline (which is going terribly), I am trying to entertain an 8 year old and 4 year old through the holidays, I have to go to work later and I am so depressed that I don't have any motivation to do any of it but I have too and the state of the house is making it worse so it's a cycle. I keep getting told to take a break because I'm breaking down every 5 minutes but I can't take a break because then things will just pile up more.

I don't know where to start. From what I see other people just seem to know what to do and how to clean and I just don't, I don't have executive functioning skills. I feel like I'm drowning. AIBU to ask for advice on where to start and how to fit what feels like 10000 hours of work into 24 hours because I am failing at being a human let alone being a mum!

I completely sympathise with you. I could have written similar. I am a lone parent to a 4yo awaiting ASD diagnosis, part of their behaviour is to constantly throw and destroy things. Communication issues is another. I am a full time uni student, I have suffered depression since early teens and my home is an absolute shit show. I can't take my eyes off my DC for more than a moment or two, so much stuff is constantly broken and having to be replaced (her father has no contact and pays no child maintenance thanks to CSA so this doesn't help). With 2 kids instead of 1 and a job alongside studying I can't imagine how much harder it is for you. Keep your head up and know you aren't alone. Feel free to PM me if you ever need a rant.

I'll be trying this 'Rock the housework' myself once the school year starts I think to see if I can make a difference.

I would make study the biggest priority at the moment. Get it handed in and then concentrate on the children for a bit in the holidays. The house can wait.

Do you have any one that will look after the children for a few hours while you study?

I find making myself a timetable (and sticking to it) for a day really helpful. Even if you don’t achieve all of the washing up in the hour dedicated to it you move on to the next task.

Is the DC’s father on the scene at all? At home or does he have them for contact if you’re separated?

Give yourself a break. You’re juggling a lot by the sounds of it. Nobody’s perfect. The summer holidays are very challenging and it might be best, mental-health-wise, if you accept that the only things you can achieve right now are the very basics in terms of kid entertainment and housework while you hit your study deadline.

Recruit the kids. Get them to help with washing putting away. Yes takes longer but you can have music on, have races etc, you will feel like screaming but it does help.