To tell partner no ro wedding

[Lauryn95]

My partner has been on lots of night out ,stag weekends etc this year upward of probably 20 and I haven't I've been working most weekends so he's been having my mum look after our kids ,Well he wants to go out again this weekend to a wedding as his friends plus 1 he doesn't know the people and he was going to go on a night out after aswell ,He asked if he could go and if I'd ask my mum to have the kids and I said no ,I've never said no before but my reasons are I'm not asking my mum AGAIN to have the kids and I'm not happy with him spending more money and that he should start saving money as he's been out loads lately ,the weekend after is his birthday and he's going out then with this person he wants to go to the rando wedding with but now he's saying (admittedly jokingly) I won't let him play out and I'm feeling guilty and maybe like I'm being controlling, He hasn't said that but he has his own money etc we don't need the money saved up I just think it would be smart to start taking it easy ,am I unreasonable?

No.

He needs to grow up.

I hope he is sensible enough for you to talk this through with.

To the childish “you’re not letting me play out” I’d just say:

im not your mother, you do what you want but you have responsibilities to this family and so have a think about whether you’re doing your absolute best for your children and our financial future as much as I am.
but if you’re asking me to facilitate your choice to not do that and go to some random wedding by asking my mum to look after your responsibilities, then to that I’m saying no.
if you want to go out then you sort out the children.

how he responds to that will help you decide your future

Never mind the money Op, they're his DC too and he doesn't get to forget that everytime he wants to go out. Your DM isn't his on call babysitter and he knows that, he gets you to ask so he doesn't look bad. Time for your DM to have some time to herself and your DP stays at home with his kids for a change