To not love my husband as much as my mum?

[ohbloofyhrll]

I know that sounds awful to write down
Will ex husband.
I'm 38 and we married 10 years ago and have split
At the time I loved him but I can now live without him.
My mum passed away when I was 13 and my heart still is broken.
I think of her every single day
I love my daughter and she is my world but my husband was never the same love
Anyone else ?

*well ex husband

Love isn't a competition. You can love lots of people in lots of different ways, there isn't a need to rank them.

I'd agree with this. I don't think of love in a linear way.

I can understand that.
But it's a totally different kind of love and can't be compared.

As others have said, I don't think it works that way. I'm sorry for your losses though.

It’s completely different.

No one loves their husband in the same way they love their mum. And again it’s different to how you love your kids.

It’s probably worse for you because you lost your mum as a child. My mum died when I was in my late 30s. The love I had for my mum change from when I was a child to when I was an adult. When you are a child you are reliant on your parents. When you are older and not reliant it’s completely different.

You didn’t get to experience that, so your feelings towards your mum are, understandably, the feelings of a devastated teenager.

I don’t think it’s healthy to think your can’t live without your spouse. I think it’s really ok to know you can.

I am so sorry for your loss. My mum has been gone less than 2 years and it’s incredibly painful. I can’t imagine how it must have been for you being so young.

Love is different, so most people don't live their mum/children in the same way they do their partner. That said he is now your ex so something was fundamentally wrong within the relationship which is probably why you didn't feel the love in the way you perhaps expected.

I agree with others, my love is completely different for everyone I do love, but I do see what you mean, I can imagine I would feel varying depths of grief depending on who I lost.
And I could never love DP as much as I love my children, I don't think I could love anyone or anything as much as I love them. I think natural, fundamental human instinct runs that show, though, ie. you're hardwired to love them hard so you keep them safe above all else so they grow = the human race continues. I've always found it bizarre (not bad, just bizarre for me comprehend personally) when people say they love their partner and children in equal measure.

I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been so hard at such a young age. X