To ask how other people with 3 kids do it

[Applebyapples]

I have an 8 year old, a 4 year old and a 9 month old. I'm on maternity leave and as it's the middle of the school holidays, I currently have them all with me all day.

I'm finding it really hard...I'd heard it said that a third child just slots in, but since my third was born I'm finding that's untrue for me and I'm finding it to be WAY more work. I feel now that 2 children was my comfortable limit, and 3 has tipped me over the edge into more than I can manage. I feel utterly frazzled by the time breakfast is finished just from the effort of getting everyone up, dressed and breakfasted with CONSTANT demands for my attention throughout. The older 2 constantly want to talk to me, the baby whinges if he doesn't get enough attention, and meanwhile I have a million and one things I'm trying to get done. I'm finding it hard to keep my patience when I'm trying to organise breakfast for four whilst being bombarded with questions and whinges...and then there's the rest of the day still to get through!

And there just isn't enough time in the day. Preparing and clearing away meals for us all, doing things that need doing around the house, making bottles and putting baby down for naps (this often takes longer as the older 2 disturb him by fighting then I have to start again), plus going out (I strongly believe we need to get out the house every day, my 4 year old boy especially really needs it), literally fills all the time. I would also like to do things like arts and crafts and board games, but there literally isn't time unless my DH is working from home and will cook tea.

There's no good time for me to shower, in the evening it wakes the baby as he's still in our room, and we can't move him out yet as he'll have to share and doesn't sleep well enough. In the morning everyone gets impatient waiting for me to be done showering.

I've said I think 3 is over my personal limit, but obviously I can't give one back now and wouldn't want to, but just want to know if anyone can help with any tips to manage better, or can relate...AIBU to find it this hard, or is it me who's failing as a mum? I often feel like none of their needs are properly met, they don't get enough 1-1 time with me and I'm letting them down 🙁

You’re doing a great job OP. I am jealous as I never took the plunge. I am the third of three and always wondered how people think a third slots in because my childhood felt like relative chaos - despite great parents. I am very easy going though. Number 3s have to be 😊

It does get better! Min are 10, 4 and 2. I found motherhood a breeze and then when my third came just before my middle one was 2.... it was HARD work! That first year, I was running on empty.

As others have said, as soon as the littlest gets to about 2 it just becomes easier. Mine all look out for each other now - dare I say even entertain each other. And they definitely don't need as much attention in general. I can actual even take a bath now which seemed a far and distant dream prior.

Stick in there!! You're nearly through the hardest part x

I operated an "equal opportunity crying" policy; they all had a turn at not getting needs met.

The 4yo & 8yo are both old enough to help out, and help each other too. Recruit them whenever possible. They will like the responsibility & being helpful.

I was a single mum of 2 when ds came along. I used to put him in the travel cot in my room with some toys while I had a shower. The older 2 would play downstairs. They were 8 and 6. We'd be out most days. Evenings were hard because he cluster fed for hours and the other 2 would be messing about instead of sleeping but it all calmed down quickly. I'd prepare complicated meals that took a lot of work while he slept or he'd be in the high chair near me whilst I cooked if he was awake. I personally found it a lot easier with 3 as a single mum and no help than I did with 1 or 2 with a useless husband. It's gets easier

I’d be packing the older ones off to holiday clubs etc to keep them busy, not everyday but enough to give me a rest, time with the baby and to sort the house out. Then weekends and a day or 2 a week taking them all to the park, trip out somewhere etc. 7 kids and that’s how we’ve always happily managed