to not know what to do with the baby?!

[uebwrryp]

DC is 10.5 months and I have him nearly all the time as DP is in the forces. He was away the first four months then back two months and now away again.

I am not doing much with dc at all. I am so worn out. Not physically tired but just fed up of the monotony. I don’t think I’ve got depression, just don’t know what else to do for entertainment?! Dc is more active now so he will play but for instance this morning I’ve put music on and he’s in the jumperoo… I’m here on mumsnet. It’s been 30 mins. I talk to him and so on but I don’t even know what to do today?! I see friends a lot which breaks up the days but it’s just driving around, shopping, quick walk, lunch. It can’t be good for him? He seems bored a lot. It was alright up until 7 months, maybe because DP was home so it was a ‘milestone’ time. I’m going back to work in 8 weeks and I feel like I’m being a really crap mum. What did you do? What can you do with a ten month old?

Swimming (find somewhere with a baby pool then it’s not like swimming for you, and it’s warm!)
Farm/petting zoo
Museum/art gallery
Park

i think at that age I basically did what I wanted and brought baby along with me. As long as there was lots for her to look at. Book ended that with an hour or two playing at home.

Also at that age mine loved an aquarium (aka fish tanks at a garden centre).

Mat leave IS monotonous. My biggest mistake on my first one was thinking I had to do things for the baby's entertainment - you don't really. If you didn't have the baby what would you do? I think the odd baby class can fill a morning or afternoon but I couldn't do everyday. I'm on my second mat leave now and I'm approaching it differently. The baby comes with me to stuff I want to do. So long walks with my earphones in listening to podcasts/audiobooks, a workout in the living room via YouTube while they mill about in the room, I'll go out for coffee or lunch and they come too. I go round the shops, do the housework etc. I don't set up elaborate messy play or anything because to be honest they'll get loads of that at nursery in a couple of months.

That sort of thing is great at this age. Loads to see hear and smell. You don't need to make everything baby focussed at this age thei'll get loads out of just tagging along with you doing adult stuff. Lost the guilt!

Ugh I relate. This stage was so boring! I was shit at providing activities and stimulation so I went back to work 4 days and bunged him in nursery. Best decision ever they have so much stuff and activities. Way more than I can offer. He literally leaps out of our arms at drop off.

Theres just so much stuff to cart around when you go out too, if they do a poo they never sit still and it’s awful, talking to new mums at groups who are having the best time 🤮 it’s just too much.

This.

With a second DC (or third, or more!) you learn that the baby has to slot in around other people and their activities, and they are not worse off for it.

Making time for yourself helps everyone, as when a mum is well regulated herself it’s easier to do-regulate with DC when they need it - win-win.

*co-regulate

Shopping centres are great for babies. Bright lights, snacks in pram, interesting noises and smells, changing facilities nearby, can nap in pram if necessary.

Have you been to the local library ? See what they have going on for babies our local library has all sorts of activities in and out of the holidays. I know you said you don't like swimming but honestly half an hour in water tires babies out .

I used to set up a play area in the living room, I’d put down lots of blankets, lots of sensory toys etc.

We’d sing along to nursery rhymes, play with bubbles, play in the bath, go to the park, playgrounds, soft play, just for a stroll along the beachfront or through the town and shops.

I made edible paints and bought an aquadoodle (lasted me years and was much loved by both children when they were small!) we also loved to watch a bit of tv or some Disney movies.

Another favourite was making drums out of pots and pans, or anything that required “posting” my youngest loved it and to stop him constantly trying to play with the letterbox made one out of a cardboard box, hours of entertainment!

I didn’t really have any friends so I’d visit my parents occasionally but I was many doing it all alone, somedays you just don’t do much at all and that’s ok.

Safety proof a space in your house and put loads of stuff in it. Not just toys, but pots, pans, a cardboard box etc. My baby's current favourite item is the clean washing pile so I haven't moved it upstairs yet. Then let them go, sit and read a book and talk to them occasionally about what they're doing. "You're chewing daddy's jumper. Clever baby!" etc.

If you have a garden, get a little paddling pool. My baby loves this filled with a couple of inches of warm water and some plastic balls. Obviously keep a close eye and be within arms reach!

Please do whatever you would enjoy and take your baby along. Everything is a new experience to them at this age and you enjoying something has got to benefit them if you are a happier mum.

Im a SAHM and we have to get out. We go to parks and a lot of classes/playgroups/play dates

It is boring otherwise! Can you go to a park today?

A fave thing to do here is to make coloured pasta and rice. Great sensory play

Oh we also go shopping loads- she loves running round a shopping centre, if that's what you want to do do that! Before she could walk she'd come with me to the hairdressers and to my nail apps! Haven't been able to do that with her for a while cos she's crazy now but was nice while it lasted

Mon- zoo

Tue- soft play

Wed- walk in buggy by the coast

Thurs- walk around town

Frid- park and feed the ducks

Saturday- meet family or friends

Sunday- relax and potter and play with toys

I found making an itinary helped x