To return to work three days a week after Mat leave?

[BackToWork2024]

Looking for advice on what to do when I return to work after maternity leave next year .

After DS1 I went back four days a week and this worked well.

Options for returning after DS2:

1. Continue with four days a week. DS2 would start childcare two days a week when he’s 11 months old, the other days covered by grandparents.

2. Drop down to three days a week. DS2 would be looked after by me/ DP/ grandparents until he’s around 16 months old, then start nursery two days a week.

Pros of three days / option 2 - more time to spend with children while they’re young, more time to do bits around the house. Easier to cover childcare for DS1 during school holidays. DS2 wouldn’t have to start childcare until a little bit older - although this could be a con as might be harder to settle.

Cons of three days / option 2 - less money (we can afford it, but would have less disposable income compared to option 1 which gives us less cash for emergencies / holidays etc), reduced money into my pension (longer term DP would look to top up but not initially as until now I’ve been paying more into mine than he has his as I’ve been the higher earner), potentially more stressed at work as less time there, possible impact on career going truly part time.

So WWYD?

YANBU - children are only young once, drop down to three days

YABU - we’re in a cost of living crisis, stick at four days

I have to make the exact same decision with the exact same set up in terms of childcare so I’m watching with interest as I’ve no idea what to do. It’s the guilt of feeling like I won’t be there for them enough versus worry about my career

Could you use the holiday accrued whilst on mat leave to drop to 3 days for a while? That would give you the flexibility to see whether it works whilst still accruing holiday/getting paid for 4 days etc

The one con you have missed for doing this is that, if someone is unwell, you won't have cover.

As you are the higher earner is your DH contributing his time to the issue? Could you both work 4 days?

3 days. You could always move up to 4 days later.

Would it be easy for you to go to 4 days later if you needed it? My employer were super keen for me to pick up an extra day but if yours fills your days off with someone else they might reject that request

@Totaly DP is disabled so would struggle with a whole day solo parenting to be honest. When I was on four days a week and he was five days a week we were pretty much bringing in the same amount.

@Loobydoobies That’s a great idea and I honestly have no idea why I haven’t thought of doing that!

@panko Unsure yet. That’s definitely been the case with going down to four days, they’ve kept the fifth day open for me to step up to at any time. Planning to have a chat with my boss before I put in any sort of formal flexible working request.

I've done 3 days til 4pm for 3 years and am doing 4 from September on school hours. I think the extra day at home will be beneficial in the first year when second child gets all the childcare bugs.

100% 3 days

and ZERO regrets

And been doing so for 8 years and no intention of ever ever increasing (and I love my job!)

Definitely 3 days. This is what I do and it makes life logistically a lot easier in terms of childcare, both in term time and holidays, but it also gives me a bit more headspace away from work and the kids. Yes I may spend a lot of that time cleaning, sorting life admin etc, but I do also make some time for me, going for a run or a swim or catching up with a friend.

Three days, though I would suggest you include either a Monday or a Friday as one of those three (latter probably better).

I did a variation of this but only used my accrued annual leave for staggered return,
leaving me with annual leave to use ad hoc throughout the year.

Not the point of the thread but how is he going to manage if you were ill, or if he was needed to look after one child while you had to take the other somewhere for the day?

I have the same decision to make and am working on my business case for 3 days today! I will go back up to 4 days when youngest dc starts school (if work agrees to this plan…).

@SoundTheSirens He’s capable of looking after them for short periods and has previously taken the day off when DS1 is sick. He also is able to do the nursery drop off / pick ups. But he would struggle to get out of the house with both of them so it might be a pretty boring day at home for them. Plus to be honest I think he’d rather work! I think as they get older he will find it easier to get out of the house with them. We’re also lucky we have good family support around us.

Totally recommend 3 days a week if you can afford it. I did it for years and it's enough time in work to really feel part of the workplace but then more of the week with your children

@LlynTegid I think I would ask for it to be it Mondays and Tuesdays or Mondays and Fridays.

@LadinLee thank you that’s helpful! We can afford it although would have less for luxuries, but I’m starting to think time with children is more important than being able to by nicer things / afford holidays

I personally found part time really difficult, I always felt like I was lagging behind at work and out of the loop etc. Though some jobs will be different, it was very difficult in my role to cut down the workload proportionately.

Also think about the effect on your savings and pension. Would your child want more time with you when they are younger (and won't be able to remember it) or will they want more holidays when they are older, more help with a house deposit, want a parent to retire a few years earlier etc

What sort of job do you have? I’d be concerned about doing a career/management type role on only 3 days.

For me it would depend a bit on the nature of your work and how the role would be covered on your ‘non-working’ days. I’ve done both 3 and 4 days and have found for my roles 4 works better, as they don’t cover on my non working days - in theory I have less projects etc but the reality is the role only shrinks so far and I still have stakeholder groups, team meetings etc to attend (generally consciously placed on my working days so I could attend) and on 3 days if just didn’t fit - so I ended up working more on evenings / weekends, or booking childcare for a 4th day to catch up. So I’d say depends a bit on the job!

I've been on three days since DC2, have since had DC3 and have zero regrets. I don't think I'll ever work more again.

The money would be nice, but honestly, being around for the kids is more important to me. DH works four days a week compressed too, so one of us is around most days.

I'm not especially career minded or driven though and have a rare autoimmune disease which is triggered by stress, we also have no family to help cover childcare or school holidays either, so these things have been factors in the decision.

If I was cutting hours I would go down to three days
all my friends on four are basically doing a full time job but not getting paid for it. Three is properly part time.