Saw some close family today and yesterday, trying not to give too much away for fear of identification. Think sibling and their family.
They travel up from fairly far away to stay with our parents. We visit them at our parents house or take trips out. Our parents live about an hour from us. I spent most of today with them at our parents house, then we went to see a film and had dinner out together. This was all planned.
In all we spent maybe 10 hours together. Of that, with no exaggeration, they spent around 7.5 hours on their phones or devices. They basically stopped for food or for doing solo activities eg making a snack/ toilet etc. They were on language apps that you have to talk to and games, so fairly immersive.
During dinner at a restaurant the teenager sat on their phone for the duration unless actually eating, despite trying to talk to them about the film we just saw. People in the restaurant were giving me sympathetic looks when they were all on their devices and could see I’d tried conversation. For full disclosure I did get my phone out twice to see how my husband was doing, as he had both of our younger children at home, to allow us all to go out.
I try not to go on my phone unless necessary and keep it in my bag when socialising as I think that is just, um, polite?! there were times when I was sat silently despite trying to hold a conversation for over an hour. My parents house is fairly out of the way, and they live a long way away (over 3 hours) so you can’t do short visits. So I realise visits can be intense.
AIBU to think this is rude? Or is this just a societal norm now? I’ve tried speaking to my sibling about it and they’ve said it’s their way of zoning out and this is just what teenagers do in reference to her kids. But for 7/10 of the time you have together? When you only see each other 5 or 6 times a year? Seems off.