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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

God help us all

64 replies

Vellincharm · 13/08/2023 02:52

Just that really. So many awful things happening all the time. Too much for me recently, and if you are an atheist I apologize.

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 13/08/2023 02:54

I think they have always happened we just see it more

Loocheeyar · 13/08/2023 02:59

Turn off the news
and eocial media

passthesugar · 13/08/2023 03:01

If you're referring to depressing current events, I highly recommend ignoring the news and scaling back on social media.

Focus your attention on yourself, your family, pets, garden, holidays, favourite books, good food... whatever brings you joy.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/08/2023 03:05

I just do what I can to do what I can. The rest s out of my control. Basically (and I am an atheist) the serenity prayer.

Read it, it's a good thing.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference

Chickenkeev · 13/08/2023 03:09

Wasn't there a Blur album 'Modern life is rubbish'? That's it really. But focus on the little things, hugs, interactions with people. Life is what you make of it. As it happens, i've had that sort of life-altering experience tonight.

CrunchyCarrot · 13/08/2023 03:18

There are so many millions of people in the world now along with 24/7 news coverage that we are being bombarded with news (which is nearly always unpleasant!) all the time. The only solution is to limit how much of it you expose yourself too. There's no way we can, as individuals, carry all that weight around, and worrying won't do us any good, nor will it solve anything.

God says we should not worry about what we cannot control. If you do have faith then turn your eyes to Jesus and his message of salvation and eternal life.

JaneJeffer · 13/08/2023 03:20

Survivor by Roger McGough

Everyday, 
I think about dying. 
About disease, starvation, 
violence, terrorism, war, 
the end of the world. 

It helps 
keep my mind off things.

Willmafrockfit · 13/08/2023 03:35

go and search for the meteor shower

Wheredoesyokoshairendandpubesbegin · 13/08/2023 04:07

If we personally can't control it, then don't worry about it.

I gave up social media (unless Mumsnet counts?) a while ago, and I'm currently with the help of a therapist stopping being a people pleaser.

We're all a long time dead, and at the same time, the saying goes "life's short", but it's the longest thing we'll EVER do.

Sometimes the hardest part of life of living, as John Lennon said. Now I try and get 20 mins a day at least, while I've got young kids, to do something for me. Watch an episode of a series, read a chapter of a book, listen to a few songs. And if I think about it, what a luxury that is. I'm so grateful I have food and a bed.

I really struggle with too much empathy (not as much with sympathy), if you can't tell 😁 but I try and be thankful for something every day. I started a gratitude diary with my son last year when he as very low. It lasted a couple of weeks and we chose 3 things we were grateful for each day...his answers were pretty much pizza, pizza and diet coke every day😂 but, it got us talking and laughing.

I hope you're ok OP 💐

Watchkeys · 13/08/2023 04:11

How much of it would you have known about if you didn't use technology, @Vellincharm ?

You don't have to use it, or certainly you can limit your exposure. There are many, many good things happening all the time, too.

IncompleteSenten · 13/08/2023 05:57

Read some history books.
You'll realise things have always been horrendous in different ways.

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 13/08/2023 06:05

I would love to live how my grandparents did. In a little rented house up a lane. They didn't even have a lock on the door. They listened to the radio only, gardened, kept chickens and bees and made things all day and throughout the evenings.

When I want to be calm, I think about the atmosphere in their house and in their lives. Modern life is wrecking my quality of life. I have constant background stress as well as the 'in your face' stuff. We are not progressing as a country or as a race.

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 13/08/2023 06:06

One thing that does lift me is following advances in science. There are many and it gives me hope.

Vegetus · 13/08/2023 06:08

I don't understand this viewpoint. I'd rather live now than at any other time in human history because by any measurable metric it comes up trumps.

Words · 13/08/2023 06:09

That sounds blissful @ErniesGhostlyGoldTops.

Smile

Redbrickrebel · 13/08/2023 06:20

passthesugar · 13/08/2023 03:01

If you're referring to depressing current events, I highly recommend ignoring the news and scaling back on social media.

Focus your attention on yourself, your family, pets, garden, holidays, favourite books, good food... whatever brings you joy.

I used to think not watching news and limiting social media was an immature, head in the sand approach.

However when I got completely overwhelmed with life and the state of the world 18 months ago, I tried it as a last resort.

It really, really works! I stopped looking at and listening to the news. I just looked at sports stuff and watched 'Newsround' with my daughter in the mornings at the most.

I filtered out loads of words on Twitter, but then came off completely. Same with Facebook.

My 'scrolling' hit came from readinfg 'Good News Network' and similar sites. I watched old comedy on YouTube.

It really re trains your mind and the daily horrors simply stop being on your mind. It's so simple, but so effective.

MeinKraft · 13/08/2023 06:25

I think it would do all of us no harm to disconnect from our phones for a day a week at least. I'm addicted to mine and it doesn't make me happy.

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 13/08/2023 06:36

Redbrickrebel · 13/08/2023 06:20

I used to think not watching news and limiting social media was an immature, head in the sand approach.

However when I got completely overwhelmed with life and the state of the world 18 months ago, I tried it as a last resort.

It really, really works! I stopped looking at and listening to the news. I just looked at sports stuff and watched 'Newsround' with my daughter in the mornings at the most.

I filtered out loads of words on Twitter, but then came off completely. Same with Facebook.

My 'scrolling' hit came from readinfg 'Good News Network' and similar sites. I watched old comedy on YouTube.

It really re trains your mind and the daily horrors simply stop being on your mind. It's so simple, but so effective.

I am going to try this. I've had some terrible things happen to me this last seven years and I feel overwhelmed. Thanks for posting this@Redbrickrebel

MinimalistMe · 13/08/2023 06:47

Phone addiction makes everything worse, and we're all addicted. Very sad when you think about it deeply enough. Our lives have become centered around these little devices that ultimately do not bring us joy or help us to live full lives.
I'm terrified of getting to the end of my life, and realising just how much of it I have spent looking at my phone. Just 2 hours a day is a month per year 😳

I am trying to not watch or read the news, and instead focus on my little family and build a happy little bubble. They say ignorance is bliss, but sometimes it's necessary.

LittleEsme · 13/08/2023 06:59

I want to 'like' so many of these posts. I feel exactly the same. I only look at MN and Instagram but even then it affects my mood.

Exposure to dark events is a definite mood changer. We are open to so much negativity, it's bound to affect us.

Our poor children though. I often feel that we have handed them a loaded gun by allowing them access to this internet world.

Hope you're ok OP Flowers

Grimsknee · 13/08/2023 07:03

I always imagine what it would've been like if the average British person in the middle ages knew about all the things that were happening around the globe, instead of only knowing what happened in their village or close region. Imagine if they knew about the details of all the ultraviolent wars, invasions, rapes, pillages, human sacrifices, cannibalism, drownings, beheadings, slavery, child exploitation, and starvation, not to mention deaths by wild animal and ordinary infections and everyday diseases, that were going on everywhere all the time. They'd have felt terrible about the world, probably worse than we do. We actually live in the very best of times for most humans.

DysonSpheres · 13/08/2023 07:11

Vegetus · 13/08/2023 06:08

I don't understand this viewpoint. I'd rather live now than at any other time in human history because by any measurable metric it comes up trumps.

Well it's a bit like the Freedom From/Freedom To argument.

Yes there are things about modern life (antibiotics anyone?) that make living now preferable. But there are also things - increasing family breakdown, increasing lack of social contact, breakdown in community, globalisation, the threat of nuclear weapons, increased inflation to wages, increased bureaucracy, lack of spiritual leadership, increased expectations that make living life daily stressful.

I've read stories of people living a hundred years or so years ago in certain parts of America and UK say no income tax, very little material possessions but house no matter how humble belonged to them, land rights easier to obtain, didn't need a degree to get a job to live. Living expenses to inflation lower. Toilet might have outside the house, there may have been no running water but there's community, children relatively free to roam.

I grew up in the 70s in a house without central heating, yet I don't believe my children have had a better childhood than I did. I think mine was better (objectively speaking and taking out the abusive family crap)

It's a good rubric to use. I personally do not think Millennials or Gen Z have had and are necessarily having a better life than the 2 or 3 generations before them.

So ultimately life got better to a point. But now it's questionable if that upward trajectory is continuing along the things that give people a real sense of meaning.

cushioncovers · 13/08/2023 07:21

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 13/08/2023 06:05

I would love to live how my grandparents did. In a little rented house up a lane. They didn't even have a lock on the door. They listened to the radio only, gardened, kept chickens and bees and made things all day and throughout the evenings.

When I want to be calm, I think about the atmosphere in their house and in their lives. Modern life is wrecking my quality of life. I have constant background stress as well as the 'in your face' stuff. We are not progressing as a country or as a race.

This

Kweeky · 13/08/2023 07:41

My GPs lived through two world wars (and he fought in one) and my DPs lived through a world war (and he fought in one). So the past wasn't really rosy.

I do know people without tvs and also one with no tv or internet.

It's the incessant 'news' and the incessant arguing. We've always had combative politics but in the past you probably followed issues you were interested in and didn't hear much about the rest. Having to fill 24/7 newscasts, daily quizzing of MPs and anyone who wants an argument, and headlines and videos of anything gory, scary or gruesome is baaaaaad.

Kweeky · 13/08/2023 07:44

I don't think chldren and teens are necessarily aware of all the awful stuff - I am hoping they just stick to funny stuff on tiktok and following their favourite influencers.
As a teen I didn't really have a clue though lived through the 3 day week, lights on / off times due to strikes. I wasn't that interested, more interested in my friends /boyfriends.