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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you do this?

20 replies

Fuckit83 · 13/08/2023 01:03

If you had a stomach ulcer which is also causing massive acid reflux would you allow your 2 best friends to spend £400 on a meal for you, knowing you won't enjoy it and go home straight after not having coffee?

OP posts:
Bluesheeps · 13/08/2023 01:04

No

Howmuchfurther · 13/08/2023 01:07

No.
I would seek treatment immediately.

continentallentil · 13/08/2023 01:09

No. Why would you do that? Prioritise getting this sorted.

Original poster
Fuckit83 · 13/08/2023 01:12

@Howmuchfurther under investigation. I was so looking forward to it, and yes I would have been disappointed but for her sodding health and our finances we would have just rearranged. It was for a special occasion which we had budgeted for.

Now feel like ive spent a lot of money for nothing and that she hated every second.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckit83 · 13/08/2023 01:16

@continentallentil

She only told us during the main meal when she refused all sides

We've had this planned for the last couple of months, due to table availability Yes I would have been disappointed as it's my favourite restaurant and we only go on special occasions but if she told me (she keeps her cards close to her chest) we would have course have arranged. It's a lot of money that now feels wasted (she knows money is tight).

OP posts:
Burningthroughthesky · 13/08/2023 01:28

Did she ask you to buy her dinner?

YABU to spend money you can't afford and now be annoyed at your friend. It also was your favourite restaurant?

Guessing £400 was for all three of you to have a meal?

WannaBeRecluse · 13/08/2023 01:37

I would have thanked my friends for their offer and explained the situation so they could choose to do something more suitable instead. Friends accommodate the challenges and limitations of others for this sort of thing. Or maybe asked them to hold that idea until I was sorted.

In the end you did spend time together though (which is what it's all about) and she ate within her limitations, so was it a total loss?

Original poster
Fuckit83 · 13/08/2023 01:45

Burningthroughthesky · 13/08/2023 01:28

Did she ask you to buy her dinner?

YABU to spend money you can't afford and now be annoyed at your friend. It also was your favourite restaurant?

Guessing £400 was for all three of you to have a meal?

We offered to take her and new DH out for wedding present. They chose the restaurant as they knew we had been there before and loved it.

We scrimped and saved to take them there.

OP posts:
UpaladderwatchingTV · 13/08/2023 01:46

Money's hardly tight if you can afford to spend £400 on a meal! Do you realise how insulting that is to some on here OP?

DivingForLove · 13/08/2023 01:47

That’s a crazy amount of money to spend on dinner 😬😳

Original poster
Fuckit83 · 13/08/2023 02:18

Didn't read the bit that said we had scrimped and saved then.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckit83 · 13/08/2023 02:21

DivingForLove · 13/08/2023 01:47

That’s a crazy amount of money to spend on dinner 😬😳

It was their wedding present. That's food and drink for 4.

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 13/08/2023 06:10

Why pick something so extravagant if you can barely afford it.

Hufflepods · 13/08/2023 06:38

YABU. You can’t control how much someone enjoys an experience, the present was already months late did you just want an excuse to not spend the money? Putting off a wedding gift for months doesn’t sound realistic. She was happy to attend and in the end unfortunately didn’t enjoy eating as much as she wanted to. Too bad.
Would you be annoyed if someone just didn’t like the meal they ordered?

I’m pregnant and feel sick so I eat small portions and still feel sick after food, am I unreasonable for not refusing all meals cooked, hosted or paid for by others because I don’t enjoy them as much as usual?

FloweryName · 13/08/2023 06:47

You’re being unfair asking if others would have accepted. It was their wedding present that you chose to give!!

You have no place complaining, especially about having to save when you only had to save that much for your own benefit too. You chose to do a meal out for all of you as a wedding gift, knowing it would mean you had to pay for yourselves too. If you’d wanted to give £200 in cash instead you could have done, but instead you’ve included the price of your food and drink as their present!

Maybe the friend with the stomach issues was happy to enjoy the other parts of the evening and let their new spouse enjoy the food.

pyjamalife · 13/08/2023 06:52

So was it you and your partner paying £400 for the meal for 4? Essentially £100 each for you and £100 each for them?

So you each gave £100 as a gift.

Which wouldn't cover what they paid for you if they had a proper wedding breakfast.

I don't think you can include your meals costs as their present. Nor can you really include her DH's if he ate it, it wasn't wasted.

CaptainMyCaptain · 13/08/2023 06:57

UpaladderwatchingTV · 13/08/2023 01:46

Money's hardly tight if you can afford to spend £400 on a meal! Do you realise how insulting that is to some on here OP?

Exactly!

WaltzingWaters · 13/08/2023 06:59

I do think they should have rearranged for a time it would be enjoyed more.

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 13/08/2023 07:06

I think you’re being really unfair! You gave her a gift and now you’re annoyed and suggesting she should have cancelled because you don’t feel she enjoyed it enough? You can’t control how much someone enjoys a gift? If her health is bad she might have wanted something to cheer her up! She made the effort to see you!

drpet49 · 13/08/2023 07:13

Fuckit83 · 13/08/2023 02:18

Didn't read the bit that said we had scrimped and saved then.

Why? Why spend £200 on a wedding gift when to you clearly cannot afford it! Stupid.

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