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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not feel I belong where I came from?

1 reply

TangledTeabags · 12/08/2023 22:05

That would be a 'belong' in inverted commas.

I was born and grew up in an area of the UK and lived there for 30 years. Whilst I never suffered any ill treatment and had good friends and family, I never ever felt like I belonged there.

There's nothing wrong with the borough or area of the country, it is obviously just me, but everything I relate to and have passion for never really fit there, and I am not particularly unusual or counterculture.
By the time I finally left it had almost turned to animosity, although that was because I ought to have set off sooner. I left for university but after a few years in different places I retuned. No idea why, but that's life I suppose.

I hear a lot about being proud of where you come from, this solidarity people have with the place of their birth. And whilst my family and life choices were excellent (I was lucky), I still never felt at home. This made me think about how places have such a different atmosphere and culture, and it is the luck of the dice where you get thrown, at least as a child.

I now live over 90 miles from there and feel so much more like a better fit. There are a diverse yet small group of people in this place, and it is far from perfect, but feels right. I wonder how common this is?

I know many of us move around for work related reasons, or due to marriage, etc, but I am talking more about that sense of belonging, which might never really materialise. Maybe I am a misfit, but I doubt it. It's kind of strange maybe to feel wrongly placed in your roots.

OP posts:
Gnomegnomegnome · 12/08/2023 22:09

I had never lived anywhere long enough to have roots until where I live now. I feel like I belong but maybe because it’s the longest I’ve ever been anywhere and the only time in my life that I feel settled.

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