Talk me down please *trigger warning - mental health and talk of abuse*

[Barbiefan]

I have horrific anxiety stemming from sexual abuse as a child. It used to be anxiety about catching sexually related diseases but in my twenties became worrying about everything health related. At my worst, I have been in the doctors everyday and attempted suicide. However recently I have been accepting all help to combat this and have been so much better for the last few months after lots of CBT, counselling and anti depressants.
today found a new raised brown mark on my foot and I’ve plummeted straight back to where I was. Can’t eat, can’t function and feel like I’m frozen in panic. I’ve convinced myself it’s cancer and keep crying looking at my kids because I’m convinced I’m going to die.

if you have this sort of anxiety how do you cope? I will go to the GP on Monday but how do I cope?

My husband has medical anxiety so I understand to a point. Please try not to think the worse and if you are and it is cancer (I'm no doctor) there is lots and lots of treatments out there. Cancer is not always a death sense anymore xx

I just want to function. This is so disappointing!

Thank you for the replies so far x

I don’t know if it helps, but I had two melanomas removed in 1993 and 1995 and I’m still here. Even if the worst happens and it is a melanoma (I assume that’s your fear here) it may still be easy to treat by simple surgery.

Incidentally, you say you’ve been doing much better, so try not to be too hard on yourself for slipping backwards because of this. I think anyone would be worried.

Can you use your CBT techniques to help here? There are lots of entirely benign brown marks you can have. I know because I’ve had loads of moles removed over the years because of my history and they were all benign.

I’ve just gone into such a dark place already!

I honestly wish I could tell you how to get out of it, but I'm the same. I'll find something and I'm absolutely paralysed with the fear and anxiety. Had to take time off work, I've been to the go a ridiculous amount of times this year.

I know it's not particularly helpful but I just want you to know you're not on your own.

@Barbiefan how are you? Did you manage to get a doctors appointment?xx