To go to sleep at 8.30pm?

[HappyForRainbow]

Have a 13month old who wakes often at night, and work FT. He goes down to bed at 7.30, wakes at 8.15 for a few minutes and then I usually go to bed. DH stays up which is fine but I'm always exhausted and know I need more sleep. I don't know if I could even stay awake past 10 let alone stay awake past 10 then wake multiple times!

But obviously friends are still sending messages after this time and they can't understand why I'm asleep. To be fair I have always been an early riser so like an earlier sleep (though not this earlier pre baby)! I've never slept past 8am for example, even pre baby, and it was usually more 5am my body would naturally wake.

AIBU?

Do what feels good for you every person is individual. I rarely sleep a full 8 hours and like to have a gap in the middle of the night.

Hi @HappyForRainbow
Yanbu xx
Once my DD is sleeping, i start getting ready for bed and it's usually about 8ish.

I'm in exactly the same situation with my almost 13 month old. Last night for the first time I decided to stay up and watch a film with DH and DSS so didn't go to bed until 10.45pm, because DS has been starting to sleep a little better recently. Boy am I regretting that today... night wakes AND he was up for the day at 4.30am. I'm already eagerly awaiting an 8.30pm bed time 😴

Totally fine to get what sleep you need. Have you considered sleep training to teach little one to sleep through?

Do what you want!! I'm quite often getting ready for bed at that time, if not already in bed!

I put my phone onto "do not disturb" so I'm not bothered by notifications.

If you're worried about emergencies, you can set up your phone so that calls from your nearest and dearest still get through, even on "do not disturb" mode.

Do what you need to do to survive. The waking nights and working full time is an absolute killer.

Nobody should be judging you.

Thanks all! I feel less crazy now 😆

Awake past 10?! @KizboBaggins thoughts and prayers for you!

Yeah DS wakes around 4.30 also and does usually go back to sleep but only while on me or scratching at me or in some other position that means I can't sleep much after that!

Sleep training isn't for me! I'd rather be super tired than my son be crying for me and not help him. I couldn't live with myself if he didn't think I would come 😞

Not all sleep training is leaving him to cry, but it's fine not to do any training at all, as long as you are OK with the reduced sleep.

I have DND on for everything but allow calls through
If anyone asks then I just say off for an early night/long bath

I would love more sleep of course but his needs come before mine! I've never seen a sleep training that doesn't involve leaving them to cry but if you know of one please let me know 😊

You can go to bed whenever you like! If you’ve got a one year old then I imagine you just want to get sleep when you can do if it’s 8.30pm, so be it.

However, I think your friends can be forgiven for assuming that you’d be awake after 8.30pm - it’s not the usual bedtime for an adult, so I can see why they’re surprised that you’re in bed by then. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it and if one of my friends told me they went to bed at 8.30pm I’d just think “Blimey, that’s early” but I wouldn’t think there was anything wrong with it.

@HappyForRainbow same - he'll often go back to sleep if he's in bed with me, but I think his teeth are bothering him so he couldn't drop off this morning! Instead he tried to use me as a both a teething ring and a climbing frame 😭 also I'm the same with sleep training - I can't put him or me through it. Here's praying our little ones start sleeping through soon!

Do your friends not have kids? I feel like those of mine who have kids (or at least young kids) would definitely not be surprised that I go to bed so early!

I'm the first with kids, so that makes sense they don't understand! I hope your little sleeps through soon too.

@10HailMarys thank you! I'm not surprised they're surprised, I completely understand that first 'Oh, makes sense, ok!', but more when I respond the next day there's still always a big shock I was asleep after 9 when they were messaging. Hence the thread!

Was mostly lighthearted ☺️ When you're in the middle of no sleep and toddler life, the rest of the world seems so far away!