I have reached the end of my tether with my Sil, I am pretty much low contact and could not care less if I see her again. Since I have known Sil she has always made demands on our time and there has always been boundary issues with her wanting to know our private information. We of course can not make demands on her time and her private life is private. But we are unreasonable if we don’t want to give in to any of her demands or share our personal information. She has actually called my behaviour not normal because we didn’t do what she wants. It really feels like she expects special treatment from us. Tantrums, stroppy behaviour or silent treatment for Dh if we don't want to do what she wants.
Examples:
She would ask for expensive makeup that costs £40-60 from us for every birthday and Christmas and she would get us a £5-10 gift in return. She would just tell us what she wanted but if we ever asked her for something (even a cheap item) she would be annoyed. One Christmas she asked for a 20 pounds and a 40 pounds make-up item and we only got her the 20 pounds items and she actually huffed and said is that it! Sil complained that her birthday card was not signed with our children names on it. It’s like everything has to be exactly as she wants it.
On Christmas day when we would stay at Mil’s house she would bang on our bedroom door at 7am because she wanted us to open presents together (basically watch her open presents). Mil would want help with Christmas prepping (perfectly reasonable) but every year Sil would point at me an dh when Mil asked who would help, she never once helped out. She never lifts a finger at Mil’s house or our house. If we are too busy or have other plans and can’t visit for her birthday meal (that Mil usually organises) she will contact dh lots trying to get him to change his mind.
One time she arrived in a neighbouring city next to us and she than expected us to drop what we doing to come see her because she had an hour to spare.
She expected us to travel 60 miles (we both could not drive at the time and had a young autistic dc to care for) to a clean Mil's rental property over Christmas. She of course was not going to clean anything.
She wanted to attend dc's first appointment with the paediatrician for his autism diagnoses. I said I was not going to tell anyone when I went into labour (due to a history of years of boundary issues with them) and she actually huffed at me.
There is also her behaviour which both annoys me and I find odd. At my sons christening he started to cry when the water was poured on his head and she started laughing. One time my autistic son (who has a big language delay) pronounced a word wrong and she did this snort laughter.
For our daughters christening we did not invite her boyfriend as I have never meet him. So she decided not to come (fair enough her decision). But Mil has said it has done permanent damage and she has been giving DH silent treatment since. She did not enquire as to my well-being when I was in hospital with pneumonia while pregnant my daughter and she did not come to see my daughter while in the hospital with seizures. So it is really only make an effort when it suits her.
AIBU to think this is DH’s problem and to make no effort with her as after years of her entitled behaviour and tantrums I no longer care. I would go as far to say I actually hate her at this point. I feel bad for Dh.