Encounter with Racism, how to deal with it.

[Sandra1984]

I live in central London and went to my local off license yesterday to grab food, while standing on the queue by the tills to pay for my drink there was a tall white English man in his 50’s with a shaved head wearing work clothes ( looked like a builder or trade of some sorts). The guy behind the tills seem to be substituting his cousin who normally does this job but is on holiday. This off licence is run by a very friendly Indian family. Said cousin didn’t speak English very fluent and you could tell he was not very familiar with the tills but nonetheless was doing the best he could. The white man got very angry because Indian boy was taking his time with the machine so started to get annoyed.
“C’mon lad, don’t you know how to to your job, it’s taking you ages! What’s wrong with you?”
Indian boy was shy and could only spell “sorry” in a strong accent.
“Sorry? I that the only thing you can say? Can you speak any English?”
White man turns round and tells the rest of the queue: “He can’t even speak English! Good luck buying in this store”
“So you can’t speaking English mate?”

The atmosphere became tense and the Indian lad just kept looking down at the machine embarrassed and a bit scared.

“You can’t do your job mate, go back to your fuc-ing country!”

I felt rage, but I’m a spaniard myself with an olive skin complexion and a strong Spanish accent so I was afraid of saying anything to this man (which I really wanted). He was very big and aggressive so kept my mouth shut afraid of retaliation. Nobody in the queue said anything, I was shocked.

Since I live in the UK I’ve encountered similar scenes to this one a couple times. My question is: How do you deal with this type of behaviour? Would you have acted differently? I feel bad for not standing up to the Indian lad. It’s eating me up inside.

It depends if the people around look like they might step in if he was to turn nasty - then I might say something such as "do you think that having a go at him is going to make the transaction go any quicker?" And if he reacts, just explain that he is making you and everyone else uncomfortable /intimated. It really does depend on how brave I am feeling at the time.

Difficult to say without more details - what hairstyle did the Indian boy have and what clothes was he wearing?

He was a normal young man, wearing jeans and t shirt, why would that matter anyway?

“a tall white English man in his 50’s with a shaved head wearing work clothes ( looked like a builder or trade of some sorts)”

Why does this matter?

I'd have challenged it if I didn't have my children with me. What an appalling piece of shit of a man.

Were you the racist?

Exactly.

I have challenged much worse and on one occasion I did have my child with me.

I was just going to say what the hell does what he's wearing matter! Weird comment!

I think I would have probably said not to be so bloody horrible, we all had to learn once upon a time, and I would definitely have called him out on being racist, and probably would have said something along the lines of, so when you go on your holiday to Spain, I expect you'll be speaking fluent Spanish then will you? What a horrible person, and he probably gets away with it time after time because he's a bully and people are scared of him.

It does matter, the aggressor was from another race and apparently felt some sort of "race entitlement". Had the boy been subjected to racial comments from lets say... an asian woman I would have posted the same and felt appalled too.

The rough descriptor of the racist guy is relevant also to whether or not OP felt comfortable intervening, surely? I like to think I'd have stood up for the guy on the till, but I'd maybe be less likely to with someone who i suspected could do me some serious damage if they decided to, or eg with someone who seemed to be having significant MH issues where just ignoring and saying something kind to the victim afterwards might feel more appropriate.

Keep.out of it, he wasn't nice, he might have turned on you.

Let the shop owner sort it.

(And I am white and working class, so yes, can be sensitive to the idea that people sometimes stereotype the white working class as racist. I don't think that's what's going on here.)

You're missing the point entirely. You are judging the apparent aggressor on what he looked like, what he was wearing and his hairstyle was. Which is very similar to what he did to the young man.

Extremely ironic.

@girlfriend44 the shop keeper couldn't sort it, clearly. Why should a shop worker have to tolerate that sort of abuse?

As a British Indian myself I would probably have spoken up, maybe just to remind him that his behaviour was making the lad more nervous. My oh on the other hand would've ignored him but then reassured the lad once our turn at the till came.
In London I suppose you're more wary because of all the violence that you hear of.
In Bolton we sometimes still encounter racist comments but it doesn't get further than offensive language, never encountered violence.

I'd like to say I'd have stuck up for the shopworker - I hope so.

I would have challenged him. I'm from a mixed ethnicity marriage. My children are mixed. If my kids where with me I would still challenge them. 1, because its despicable behaviour. 2, I want my kids to know this is not acceptable so that they will challenge it themselves when necessary and so they know if they encounter such filthy comments they know its OK to stand up for themselves and that others will hopefully do so too.

1. The poor boy subjected to it must have felt very scared and embarrassed and this could put him off learning (if indeed he can't speak english or maybe he was just shy!) Not everyone can deal with confrontation.

I’m one of those people that would of spoken up as I can’t help it, I defend those weaker - but it’s also got me in a lot of trouble of the years so I also wouldn’t even judge anyone for not speaking up

I would have said something along the lines of 'I don't think that's an appropriate way to speak to someone serving you, do you?' but I'm a middle aged, upper middle class white woman who knows the offensive guy might be pissed off at me and grumble but would more than likely modify his behaviour due to my class privilege. I think this is precisely the sort of situation where I should make use of it for the benefit of others. The OP is in a different situation though as an immigrant herself so I can understand her caution.

Sad and disappointing yes, shocking- no.

I’m just describing a nasty situation I encountered yesterday and describing its characters involved. Had the racist man been dressed with a suit and tie I would have described this also. Seriously, the white guy could have been wearing a g string and Pom poms as far as I’m concerned and I would equally be appalled, but he was not. I’m just describing what I saw infront of me. Are you offended by the fact the white man was working class?

If the white man had added to his comment with a racist slur, I would agree with you. The facts remains though, the white man is correct. The Indian lad had limited English. The man was bullying the Indian lad because he was slow (maybe because he is just starting to learn English) but I can't see how he was racist.

You don't do anything. You stay out of it. If the lad wants to tell his uncle, that's up to him.

"Go back to your fucking country" is surely an undeniably racist insult.

I would have said something because that’s my nature. But I can understand that some people may feel intimidated and scared to speak up.

I can’t stand racist idiots.