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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to visit my aunt now anyway?

8 replies

CruiseDea · 11/08/2023 11:23

My aunt and uncle live in Athens. As a child we used to fly out and visit them with my parents. Now that I've got a bit of spare cash again, I would like to go again. I saw my aunt and uncle in Birmingham recently, for a family gathering. They kept saying how I should go out and visit them in Athens for a weekend. So I said sure! I'll come, let me look at flights when I get home. My uncle kept saying how nice it would be for my new boyfriend to come (we have been together three years and live together), but my aunt wasn't there for that part of the conversation. I sent my aunt a message saying how nice it was to see them and how we would love to come and visit as offered, and gave a good array of dates to see if any of those weekends worked for them?

I got no response to the message but she has been on whatsapp. I am starting to wonder if it's because I asked to bring my boyfriend (who is black), as I have suspected in the past that she has some outdated views..

AIBU that even if she does respond, to not want to go? Because I don't feel welcome

OP posts:
GoodChat · 11/08/2023 11:25

She might not have responded for a multitude of reasons.

How long ago did you message?

What was she like with your boyfriend when they met?

GreenKimono · 11/08/2023 11:27

It sounds to me as if you are massively overreacting to a scenario you’ve invented in your head. She simply hasn’t replied yet (how long has it been?), and now suddenly you think it’s because of your boyfriend, and she’s a racist, and even if she gets back to you now and says she’d love to see you, you now don’t want to go because you feel ‘unwelcome’ because she didn’t reply more quickly?

TregunaMekoides · 11/08/2023 11:28

That is quite a leap of assumption.
Why don't you phone and speak to her? Easier to gauge a genuine feeling than WhatsApp stalking.

UpAndAwayyy · 11/08/2023 11:30

Probably didn't have her calendar handy Confused

SM4713 · 11/08/2023 11:30

I've missed whatsapp messages all the time. Or skim read and completely forgotten.

Why don't you just phone them??? Jumping to 'oh she must be racist now' is a massive leap! What were they like when they met in the UK? 🙄

Maidangela · 11/08/2023 11:38

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Mercedesbenz2022 · 11/08/2023 11:41

Wtf

RoomOfRequirement · 11/08/2023 12:04

It's probably more that she was being polite, saying you should come visit, and thought you'd pick up on that socially she didn't actually mean it. And now you have dates planned and she's not sure how to say no.

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