This is a long one. I’m in a spiral of doubt and worry…
Please be kind.
My son is starting reception in September and is autistic. When I moved to the area I had my sights set on the local outstanding school, however it has 90 pupils per year group. Knowing my son and how his needs have progressed since we moved, I don’t think he would cope well in such a busy school and my fear would be he would become a number and probably under achieve. However I have heard that larger schools have better funding for SEN. When I applied for schools, I put this as my third choice based on its size and my sons needs after thinking it would always be my first.
Unfortunately his EHCP has been refused so we are going to appeal this, therefore we would be relying on the schools funding to support him and I strongly believe he needs one to one care at some points throughout the day. Our LA doesn’t require an EHCP for funding but the school he has been accepted for is very small with minimal funding, with the SENCO actually telling me at our last meeting, just before the holidays, the highest needs students needs aren’t being met and they’re getting roughly 30 minutes of one to one support a week and that other schools such as the outstanding one I originally liked would have better funding to meet his needs. However I worry that even with the better fuding he’d struggle to make social connections due to the large size of the school. Although I guess he could always prove me wrong.
Anyway we chose this small, one form entry school because it has 30 pupils per year group. It’s a good school on its ofsted report. It’s a small building and I feel he would be more comfortable navigating around. The school also runs a forest school which I think he’d enjoy as he’s very hands on and loves the outdoors. It is out of our catchment area and a slightly longer drive. From reading ofsted reports it seems a couple of children do come from out of the catchment area. I suppose this is a good thing. The drive does worry me slightly because he can be so difficult to get out of the house and can have a lot of meltdowns. However, alongside the SENCOs fairly negative comments, it’s been niggling away at me that there are pylons on the field opposite, roughly 300m away and they are just causing me severe anxiety. I have been reading up on the links of childhood leukaemia and I feel like if anything was to happen to him, I’d blame myself that it’s because he’s at that school and the pylons caused it. I know it’s unlikely but I can’t shake this feeling. Most people would chose not to buy a house near a pylon so surely my worries about my child’s school being near one, are valid? If it wasn’t for the pylons I’d feel a lot more relaxed about him starting this school. Especially after seeing a child from his nursery at the transition day. As much as my son doesn’t play with other kids really, I couldn’t help feel happy a familiar face might make it easier for him.
Anyhow, the other closer schools to us, that would be a consideration for the possible waiting list are:
A two form entry, which is lovely. I liked the feel. I know people who attended this school growing up. It’s rated good. I put it as my second choice and think if I’d have put it as my first, we’d have probably been allocated here. It also had a SEN room which I liked. I know a place has become available and we could perhaps move him before the start of reception. However this one has a mobile mast sat at the bottom of the playing field! It also has an upstairs to the school so I feel my son would get a little overwhelmed and possibly struggle navigating such busy corridors with two levels. It would be much easier to drive to and surely mobile masts aren’t as bad as high voltage, monstrosity pylons? And let me tell you these ones near his current school are the biggest of the pylon bunch.
Another one form entry, closer to us, however it’s in a more ‘deprived’ area. It’s a good ofsted school. I liked the feel from the outside, however I’ve never seen the inside and spoken with the SENCO. The school receives a good ofsted report, it’s located right next to a motorway however, which again triggers my bloody anxiety with the pollution. The school actually, although mainstream, has 25% SEN children and I know the school is in a financially better position than the school he is attending in September. I feel like I wish I’d have never disregarded this one in the first place but the SENCO was hard to get a hold of and I just felt under so much pressure at the time of applying for school, especially with the difficulties he was having at nursery.
Another two form school, probably our closest school which has been graded requires improvement and inadequate for the last couple of years. The school has places because it always does. Makes me wonder if that’s because no one wants their kids there? It was subject to a local paper story of teachers locking children in rooms with no windows! Again a lot of children from deprived areas attend the school and the ofsted reports do state that children’s behaviour in the classroom is disruptive and distracting. Although it’s in the best location when it comes to my anxiety. No masts, pylons or motorways! And apparently has SEN rooms too.
Now I will just clear this up. I am from a council estate myself and worked extremely hard when my son was 2 to move to a different area in the hopes he’d have access to better schooling than I did. I spent my life attending inadequate schools, subject to bullying which affected my mental health and my education and wanted to try and ‘escape’ that in the hopes he would have a happier experience at school than I ever did and mix with children from all kinds of backgrounds and ethnicities. I now feel like I’ve absolutely failed to meet his needs because it seems all the local schools just seem to have things that don’t quite fit our needs or trigger my anxiety. I acknowledge a lot of this is probably me creating the problems in my head and over worrying about his SEN and other factors relating to my anxiety but I do feel, as a parent, my concerns are valid in some way?
Now really I guess I just need a good shake to tell me that I’m being stupid to worry about bloody pylons but I do suffer from anxiety and have always had a hatred of the things and regularly worry that my children will get poorly with cancer or other horrible diseases anyway. It makes me wonder if other parents even think about the local pylons. Not to mention his school also has a solar farm on the field opposite too. It’s really getting me down because not only do I have to worry about his additional needs being met, the general parental worry of a first child starting reception, I happen to have the added mix of worry about the EMFs he’ll be exposed to daily!
Please can I have some advice on whether AIBU and whether I chose the right school for my son? Should I consider putting him on the waiting list for another school? I feel we’d benefit in some ways, but lose in others.
I’ll add that the 3 form outstanding school (not near pylons, masts or solar farms) I really liked from first moving here, which is in a good location, unfortunately had a young child pass away with leukaemia. I try and remind myself it can happen with pylons and without, just like in this instance with this poor little girl and to focus purely on the important stuff that I can control but it’s exceptionally hard.
The reason all this is going on now is my last meeting with the LA regards to his EHCP was last week, so this is why the panic about school placement has started over the holiday. It kind of stemmed from the negative talk with the SENCO and has now spiralled to the pylons and solar farms and worrying about every thing down to the drive time, the funding and possibly being too big or too small.
What would you do?